Back on Course

Posted on 17 Jun 2013 @ 6:51pm by Commander Scarlet Blake & Lieutenant JG Victoria Crawley

1,585 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 3, Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD08 1500 hrs

ON

In high spirits, Victoria walked casually down the corridor towards the counselor's office. She had never met this woman, Lt. Scarlet Blake, but she was not nearly as worried about this meeting as she had been the about the others. This was her last meeting until she started work, and she was well-acquainted with counselors. After all, she had eight years of experience with them. She knew how these sessions usually went; still, it didn't hurt to be prepared for anything.

She came to the doors and pressed the chime to alert Lt. Blake of her presence. "Victoria Crawley. I was told to come see you?"

"Come on in," Scarlet replied with a small smile as she set the files back down onto the desk. She pushed herself to stand, ready to greet the new addition. Scarlet smiled as the doors opened and she saw her, motioning for her to come further into the room. "It's nice to meet you, Lieutenant Crawley. Please, come and get comfortable, can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you," Victoria said, taking a few steps forward.

"Then come and get comfortable," Scarlet smiled warmly to her, motioning for her to find a seat. She sat herself in the comfortable chair, leaving the sofa free for her if she wanted some room. "How are you, Lieutenant?"

Victoria smiled just as warmly back and took a seat. "I'm doing well, thanks. Getting used to the ship, which has been an interesting experience."

"What makes you say that?" Scarlet asked, but with a soft chuckle, knowing that it could be a lot to take in. A science ship was different from other ships, with so much going on. And for some, if it was a move to a smaller ship as it was for many, it could be difficult to adjust.

Victoria laughed a little, too. "Well, you know, the crew is strange, but in a good way; I'm thrilled to be able to meet and get to know them better. It is kind of weird getting used to a smaller ship, though. Again, not in a bad way, though."

"Don't worry, I think a lot of us had that same feeling," Scarlet admitted with a smile, shaking her head. "It's a - closer community. A bit like moving from a town to a village. It can take getting used to, but it's also warmer in its way. Real. And of course, as a Science ship, it muse be exactly what you're looking for."

"Yeah, definitely. I've only been here two days and I already love it." Victoria responded, her eyes lighting up at the thought of the coming weeks.

It was all too clear from the look in her eyes that she meant it, Scarlet had no doubts that it was genuine. "How have you been in general? Before the move as well."

"I've been good. I haven't had a panic attack in a while, which is good," Victoria said.

"Very good," Scarlet agreed, holding her eyes to show she meant it. Panic attacks were difficult to control, and they could strike at the worst of times. It wasn't easy to get a handle on them for some people. She'd read the young woman's file, and knew that they had been brought on by a trauma no young child should have to see. "Is that something you've been working on? Or has it been a natural subsidence?"

"I've had to work at it; it's been hard, but I've managed." She thought back to the last panic attack she'd had and the circumstances that had brought it on. She shuddered. It was not something she wanted to go through again and she had worked very hard to keep the attacks away. So far, it was working.

Scarlet saw the shiver, shaking her head gently before tilting it, frowning with concern. "What is it?" she asked quietly.

"My last attack was really bad," Victoria explained. "Worse than usual. It was a really bad day right off the bat, so I was already edgy and a coworker was asking about Peter, but he wouldn't stop asking and I just...lost it."

Scarlet nodded with a frown, taking a breath. It had to have been so difficult, with no way to back off from it. "Did you experience any memories or flashbacks before you start to have difficulty breathing? As if you were back in your childhood."

Victoria took in a deep breath before responding. "Yes. It was...horrible. I couldn't make the images stop; all I could see was Peter lying there, dead." She shuddered again and tried to push the memory far away.

Scarlet let out a soft breath, nodding with regret. It was one of the most difficult symptoms of PTSS, flashbacks and waking dreams. "Do they happen by themselves?" she asked gently. "Or does it tend to only be when people remind you of that time?"

"Now it only happens when someone reminds me of it," Victoria explained. "Before, they came by themselves without warning. The first one was the worst. That one happened the week before I was institutionalized."

Scarlet nodded, her smile warming at the news as she leant a little closer to her. "It might not feel like it, Victoria, but I assure you, that is a great deal of progress. It means you can take so much more control over it. Remove yourself from situations before they can trigger those more intense experiences. You must have worked very hard."

"I had to. I wanted to be on a ship, and I need to be able to control the attacks." Victoria could just see herself in the middle of a work day, gasping for breath on the floor. No, that was not something she planned on happening.

Scarlet held her eyes for a long moment. She believed her. And if that was the case, she knew she could trust this young woman to come and seek help if she ever needed it, because she was sensible enough to know that's what would help her stay on duty if things ever spiked again. "It sounds like you've got that control, Victoria. It's been a long time since your last panic attack. Do you still attend regular counselling sessions?"

"About once a week. Sometimes less, depending on her schedule. It's mostly just to check on my progress and keep me going with Xanax," Victoria said, absentmindedly twisting a little silver ring around on her finger.

"And you'll be willing to continue that on Galileo?" Scarlet checked. She thought it was good for her. A sort of check in, to keep her motivated and make sure she was on the right track. Sometimes it was so easy to slip, and so slowly that it wasn't noticeable until things felt overwhelming.

Victoria nodded her head vigorously. "Definitely." God only knew how badly she still needed the help. Maybe she wasn't completely dependent on her therapist anymore, but it was nice to be able to talk things out with someone who could actually help if she needed it.

Scarlet nodded briskly at that, smiling to her with clear understanding and actually, also admiration for how sensible Victoria was about it all. "You may even find that a move to somewhere different helps. Refreshing, new people and faces, a different atmosphere. And plenty of distractions, both in being on a new ship, as well as what a science ship can offer you."

"I'm looking forward to the change. I've been absolutely ecstatic about working on a science ship," Victoria agreed. "In fact, Lt. Kohl and I were talking about continuing the research I was doing back in California. That's a little ways away, though. I want to get used to the ship first."

"That's a great idea," Scarlet smiled, genuinely interested at the prospect. "You have the perfect mix here to be able to do it. It's good to hear Doctor Kohl agrees," she considered her, chuckling gently. "I think it sounds like you're doing just fine on Galileo already."

"Thanks," Victoria said, unsure of what to say next. She twisted her ring some more and bit her lip.

Scarlet smiled, shaking her head with a warm laugh as she pulled a padd over, tapping the screen. "No need to thank me. You did it. You're clear for duty, but on the understanding that you will keep up your regular counselling sessions, and if you feel anything is getting worse or feeling more difficult, you come and see a counsellor asap. It doesn't have to be me, you can see whoever you feel most comfortable with."

"Of course," Victoria said, nodding her head in complete agreement. She was starting to feel like a bobble-head. "I'll do anything to keep the attacks away, just say the word."

"And that's what gives me the faith you'll look after your health," Scarlet nodded with a small smile. "You're cleared for duty. You're free to go. If you want to book an actual session in for the near future, please feel free. You'll be able to choose from whichever counsellor appeals to you."

Satisfied that her first session with the counselor had gone well, Victoria held out a hand to her. "Thank you, Counselor. I hope to see you soon, then." She smiled once more at the doctor and strode swiftly out of the room.

OFF:

Lieutenant JG Victoria Crawley
Psychologist
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Scarlet Blake
Chief Counsellor
USS Galileo

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