Thought for Nought

Posted on 13 Sep 2016 @ 12:58am by Ensign Splendora Nightingale & Crewman Aurangzeb Ameen

1,639 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 12 - Recluse
Location: USS Galileo, Deck 3 - Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD -03 - 0959 hours

[ON]

He quietly traversed the length of corridor toward his destination, nodding politely to crew he both knew and had yet to meet. His hands tucked away in the starched stiffness of his uniform jumpsuit pockets, where in one, were his length of prayer beads, of which he absentmindedly fiddled with. He effortlessly navigated around a trio of officers engaged in a heated debate about some topic of conversation Aurangzeb was hardly interested in knowing about, before rounding a corner and stopping short of the doors whose identifying information indicated it was the counselor's office. He hesitated for a passing second before stepping into the biosensors field, which punctually notified the cabins occupant of his presence; the melodic chime unheard from this side of the door.

Splendora and Jonas had agreed to work double shifts Alpha and Beta until they cleared the appointment rosters and back logs. That meant a few more days and the she'd be on Beta permanently. She was happy with the shift and looked forward to the stability of it.

Just as she finished updating the last file the door chimed, "Enter when ready." It was her standard call out. She found out that some people preferred to stand out there bit before facing a counselor. She smiled and shook her head. She was one of those people well...until she found out her best friend was the Chief Counselor.

The doors parted, either panel recessed into its respective bulkhead with the hiss of its compressor. Aurangzeb took a tentative step forward; true, this wasn't his first counseling session since being assigned to the Galileo. With that being said, in the two months he'd been absent, the staff had changed once again and he wasn't altogether thrilled with the idea of having to explain the inner workings of his convoluted psyche. He'd regularly visited doctor's Devin and Carlisle; however, as routine and regimented as this life could be, change was inevitable. He was left to start again, trying to build a relationship of trust with individual's who seemed to rotate as often as he changed his underpants. There'd been little consistency and that frustrated Aurangzeb to no end. How could he continue these sessions if, at the drop of a hat, he was talking to someone new and unfamiliar, with their different personality, a unique therapeutic approach, someone he guessed didn't genuinely care for his wellbeing as they all pretended to. No, he was content to complete this initial session and then stop his visits altogether.

Splendora smiled at the young man who walked in. "Well hello and welcome!" She motioned or him to come in. "Come on in."

He nodded in thanks, "I'm Aurangzeb; the captain asked that I complete an intake evaluation with my return to active duty. I think I had an appointment at 1000 hundred hours with a Counselor Splenda?" He tried to recall, the tone of his voice soft, perhaps more mousey than intended.

She smiled. "That would be counselor Splendora. That would be me. Come on in Mr. Aurangzeb and sit down. Would you like anything to drink?"

"No." He gestured in decline to the question, "Thank you though, ma'am." Aurangzeb approached the woman, "You can call me Auran, if you'd like that is." He offered his hand in formal greeting, eyes glancing about the office, it's interior configuration so familiar, yet with much different decor from what Devin and Carlisle preferred. "It's changed so much." He said aloud without realizing, eyes wandering over the many different pictures that hung along the gun-metal surfaces of the bulkheads and lined the matte finished shelves of the built-in bookcase.

Splendora noted how he looked around. "You mean the office?" She smiled. "It changes with those who occupy it yet the purpose of it stays the same. I take it you are not comfortable with counselors?"

He shook his head, a puzzled expression furrowing his brow, "I do not know them; who am I to judge? Why do you think so?" Aurangzeb replied, wondering why Splendora would make such an assertion. "In truth, I knew several of the counselor's before you; I visited them frequently. They helped. It's just," he paused, taking a deep breath, then released it slowly, "you lot never stick around for very long." His stated matter-of-factly.

"Ahhh well that's where the vibe you give off stems from. I tell you what. Myself and the Chief Counselor are here to stay. Would you like to have a seat and I can explain how I work." All counselors had their own system. She sat down and pulled out a pen and notebook. She preferred to write things out. "Okay so this is how I work. Usually I don't read the client's file before the first session, at least nothing beyond photo description and work related entries. I rely n my first impression. After I've finished this session with you I will read your file to get to know things a bit more but for now, why don't you tell me about yourself."

Aurangzeb walked over to the same couch he'd sat countless times before and slowly lowered himself onto its worn cushion. His hands fell to his lap, fingers interlocking tightly causing knuckles to blanch. "Sorry for the vibe." He apologized, having no desire to perpetuate the idea he didn't like Splendora for any reason. He was quiet for a long moment, uncertain of where to begin. "Um, where should I start? What is it that you'd like to know?" He offered her a kind smile so she could know he wasn't trying to be difficult or evasive.

She smiled. "Well how about you tell me a little bit about your hobbies, interests, maybe tell me why you choose Starfleet, what you like and what you don't like about your job."

A length of silence followed once more, Aurangzeb breathing deeply, eyes filled with a distant contemplation. "I, um, I really enjoy photography; I'm not particularly good at it," he confessed honestly, "but I'm slowly honing a developing appreciation for it." He finished as if to convince Splendora. "I paint in water color; it's very abstract and ambient, but I really like the medium... it can be rather challenging in a fulfilling way." Aurangzeb offered more freely, "Oh! I journal too, quite often really. Well, pretty much all the time." He untangled his fingers, tucking a hand into the interior of his coveralls, extricating a black, moleskine book from the inside pocket. The cover was worn, its spine cracked with wear. It was bound with ribbon to help hold the loosened pages in place, while one could also tell there were other items of import jammed in-between chapters of yellow-stained leafs of paper. "I don't like the informality of a computer log... this is so much more intimate, don't you think?" He asked, gesturing to the woman's notepad and pen.

Splendora's mind was going a mile a minute. She was already thinking of how painting and photography and journaling could be used to help him. She smiled. "Like you I prefer the notepad and paper. I journal too." She smiled. "You are right computer logs can be informal but sometimes they are worth it.... at least for work."

Splendora thought a moment. "So you said you've visited counselors before. What would you like to get out of these sessions? What brought you to them?"

"I have." He confirmed with a nod, "Honestly, I'm here because the Captain asked me to come." He glanced around the room, eyes searching for an answer to the woman's question, "I, um, well..." His posture shifted as he became visibly uncomfortable and fidgety, "...I-I, I'd like to stop seeing him." He offered in a nervous whisper, chewing his bottom lip as his eyes avoided Splendora's. "I'd like to move on." He said quickly, trying to not sound so blatantly crazy.

"Well that's a good reason. A start over. I think I can help with that." She smiled at him. "Now do you have questions for me."

His head sashayed from side to side as his eyes shifted to meet hers; there was a subtle hint of surprise in their muddy-brown color, surprise that she'd not immediately gone to the extreme with concern over his statement. Perhaps she was willing to help.

She smiled at him. "Well then I guess we're done for now. Before we end our first session is there anything that you'd like to discuss or something that's on your mind now that you want to talk about?"

Letting out a deep sigh, Aurangzeb shrugged, "I guess just to know why you care... I mean, about wanting to help me."

She smiled. Her heart was sad that he'd have to ask that. If he felt others hadn't wanted to help him then she was angry at those counselors. "I care because I know what it's like to feel alone, to want help but find none, and you are a crewmate and you seem to be like a wonderful young man. I became a counselor because I care about people and I don't like to see people in any pain especially emotional. I believe that every emotional scar we carry is a badge of honor that we survived and if I can help you start over to me that is the greatest reward ever. I want you to smile and mean it. I want you to not be plagued by the past. I want you to be able to stand up to the past pains and memories and say you can't hurt me anymore and mean it. That's why I care."

[OFF]

Crewman Aurangzeb Ameen
Engineering Officer
USS Galileo

&

Ensign Splendora Nightingale (PNPC)
Counsellor
USS Galileo
(PNPC played by Braxton MacKenzie)

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