Loss.

Posted on 07 Aug 2012 @ 10:36am by Crewman Aurangzeb Ameen & Chief Warrant Officer 3 Lamar Darius

2,904 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Episode 01 - Project Sienna
Location: USS Galileo: Crew Quarters, Deck 4
Timeline: MD 08 - 0930

[ON]

Aurangzeb navigated the length of corridor between the scientific research library to the quarters he shared with Crewman Josef Wilde. Thankfully, their bunk had been spared from succumbing to one of the many hull breaches deck four sustained; had it not been for the fact that the sleeping cabin was located on the starboard side of the deck, he feared all of their personal possessions would have been lost when the breaches occurred. Their quarters were nothing special, merely basic accommodations for enlisted grade crewmen; yet it was the only place on the starship that they could call their own... a place to escape after the tumultuous rigors of the days work.

Aurangzeb had spent the better part of the last hour compiling, organizing and cateloguing the information requested by Peers regarding his theoretical idea on how to restore temporary function to the ventral phasers. Although the hypothesis was rather unconventional and completelh untested, he was excited that the concept was at least being considered as a viable option and would be sent up the chain-of-command to be considered by the Executive Officer, a man that Aurangzeb had still yet to meet, but was in temporary command of the Galileo during the Captain's... absence.

Following the curve of the bulkhead, Aurangzeb came upon his quarters and immediately noticed that both of the door panels remained open, recessed into the cavities of the bulkhead. After completing his research, he thought perhaps a shower and change of uniform was in order prior to returning to Main Engineering to submit his findings and receive an updated repair schedule. He'd not left the doors to the quarters open and knew this to be uncharacteristic of Josef as well.

Cautiously stepping over the threshold to the quarters, uncertain of whom or what he might find within, Aurangzeb immediately noted two small cargo containers, both filled to the brim with the personal belongings of Josef. In that very moment, Aurangzeb's stomach sank.

"Crewman Ameen?" came a firm voice from behind him. The Chief of the Boat stood in the doorway to Aurangzeb's quarters with a PADD in his hand while he glanced about, looking for a young engineering crewman. He had unfortunate news to deliver but also felt that it would be a good time to meet the latest of the enlisted crew to have come aboard at SB-152. Tough way for a roommate to start a new assignment, he thought quietly to himself as he glanced at the dead crewman's belongings.

Aurangzeb gracefully whirled around in alarm; he'd been so surprised by the man's sudden arrival, that he'd nearly dropped the data PADD he'd been holding.

Hazel-colored eyes scrutinized the man as he willed the beating of his heart to slow and for the aggrivation of being scared so easily to subside. "Yes, Sir. That's me." He noted the man's rank and assumed a more rigid posture. "How may I help?" He wondered aloud. His frustration soon gave way to curiosity; why were Josef's personal belongings packed in cargo containers? Had it been what Aurangzeb initially feared when he saw the items so neatly organized and stored? And whom was the dark-skinned enlisted man dressed in the color of the command division? Aurangzeb surmised he was, either, Josef's most immediate superior officer--Josef was a support craft pilot assigned to Galileo's flight control department's shuttlebay support staff for Beta Shift--or perhaps the Chief of the Boat, affectionately referred to as the COB amongst the enlisted personnel on board. Aurangzeb thought perhaps the latter of the two and that he was there to inform Aurangzeb of dreadful news concerning Josef.

Aurangzeb swallowed hard, nervous apprehension now consuming him from the inside out.

Lamar looked at the smaller man and took in his appearance, noticing his youthful features. The kid didn't look like he could have been any older than seventeen, yet he was nonetheless somehow a member of the crew and therefore his responsibility to look after. "At ease, crewman." he said with a curt nod while he surveyed the belongings which were already packed and ready for transport. "I'm Lamar Darius, Chief of the Boat." he said, extending his large hand in greeting. Though he didn't feel much like offering pleasantries at the moment, he knew it would probably be best to at least try and soothe the junior crewman before delivering the news of the unfortunate fate of his roommate.

He stood at ease, extending a hand in return to embrace the one offered by the COB. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sir." He offered the courtesy unsure of what else to say. The sinking feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach told him this was far from a social call and was more in line with his earlier venturing regarding the fate of Josef.

"No problem, glad to see you're still in one piece after the attack." the chief replied somewhat quietly as he returned the shake then glanced around, taking note of the dark blood stain immediately outside of the main door. "How are you holding up?" he asked in a more casual tone, wondering if Aurangzeb was suffering from any trauma-related injuries...something that might not have been discovered in sickbay.

Aurangzeb shrugged, heavy-lidded eyes never wavering from the COB. "I'm holding up, Sir... a bit tired, but I'll get by." Although his voice was soft in its reply, it retained hints of confidence. He didn't want the COB to know that he was utterly exhausted or compromised in any way, so he put up what he hoped was a rather convincing facade. "I wasn't injured or anything, thankfully. But we've been pretty busy in engineering since the attack... understandably so, Sir. I just returned to grab a shower and fresh change of uniform before heading back to continue with repairs." He concluded, his attention now shifting towards the two cargo containers. "Is Josef switching quarters, Sir?" He probed uneasily, knowing that the question itself was just as absurd as the prospect of a crewman changing quarters during a time such as this.

The chief cleared his throat a bit before replying. "No...unfortunately he was killed during the attack." he said rather simply without elaborating, then paused for a moment. "I'm sorry." he added as he glanced back at the crates on the floor. "His belongings will be transferred to the cargo bay and then shipped back to his next-of-kin as soon as we dock at the next Starfleet facility."

"I'm..." Aurangzeb tried to search for the right words; it was the first time he'd faced death in such a way. His inexperience and age left him uncertain and insecure. "... sorry to hear this." The words he spoke were honest and the pain held captive within the unsteady timber of his voice genuine. There was a silence that followed. He went to sit on the bed, Josef's bunk. "How, um... how did he die?" Aurangzeb wasn't completely certain he wanted to know, but there was an inherant need none-the-less. Although he didn't know Josef well at all, the two hadn't yet become close in any conceivable way since Aurangzeb arrived on board, he still felt a significant loss under the realization that Josef was no longer a part of this life and at what his absence would mean for so many.

Lamar took a moment to consider the crewman's question. His previous service in the Marine Corps had exposed him to plenty of casualties and fatalities, and he was more experienced than he would have liked with dealing with situations such as these. Often times, revealing the details of one's death did little to help the healing process. But for some, especially those who were very young, it actually served its purpose and could sometimes bring closure to a traumatizing ordeal. "He was attacked by one of the boarding parties as he was leaving his... your quarters. He suffered severe lacerations and unfortunately didn't survive." he finally replied, then let his eyes once again fall to the floor where the barely-noticeable blood stain was located.

Aurangzeb followed the COB's line of sight and saw what it was the man had glanced towards on two separate occasions now. "Killed here?" His voice was unsteady as his eyes locked onto the discoloration to the carpet nearest the door. His stomach felt queasy and head dizzy as he remained fixated on the spot, eyes not once blinking. Subconciously, Aurangzeb craddled his stomach with the palm of one hand. It was difficult for him to understand. "But why? Why did they kill him? He musn't have been armed and he was only leaving what amounts to a... a... a bedroom!" In Josef's loss, the manner in which he died and where made Aurangzeb feel both vulnerable as well as violated; a space he'd once considered sacred and safe was now tainted by death. "I just don't understand."

With a shake of his head, Lamar stepped closer and put his hand on the young man's shoulder. "It's combat, kid. Sometimes things happen to the best of us...wrong place, wrong time." he said quietly in an attempt to make the crewman feel better. He could see by the distressed expression on Ameen's face that this was probably his first brush with death, but it was something which Lamar was quite familiar from his many years of prior service in the Marine Corps. The first one was always the toughest to swallow. "You have to move on and put it behind you," he added, "because there'll be others, I promise. Crewman Wilde gave his life for the service, it's part of the dangers we face while we are our here in the unknown. That's what makes us special." he explained.

Aurangzeb involuntarily shied away from the COB's touch, he wasn't accustomed to physical interactions aside from the occasional meeting of hands. Even with his parents, Aurangzeb tended avoid touch; it was an eccentricity of their son that Sandip and Rajeesh accepted unconditionally.

Working through a tepid reluctance, he soon nodded, coming to understand the COB's statement. Aurangzeb would never admit to accepting the man's statement, but appreciated its sentiment none-the-less. They were explorers, expanding their knowledge through scientific discovery of the unknown. Yes, Aurangzeb could accept that there would be casualities from time to time, especially in the performance of one's duties... things could go horribly wrong, he knew of this in intimate detail. Yet, Josef's death had no meaning, it served absolutely no purpose and it was committed by a species meant to be allies to the Federation, yet whom betrayed an almost century old accord.

"Thank you, sir." Aurangzeb said after a moment of reflection. "I appreciate you letting me know of Josef's death in person." He chewed the inside of his lip, eyes flickering to the red tinged carpet, obsessively.

His posture somewhat deflated, Aurangzeb shrugged, "So what now?" He wondered if a ceremony would be held for their fallen comrades, to celebrate their lives and bereave the loss. There was, of course, the Starfleet ceremony that he'd researched and read about, yet he was curious to know if there would be any recognition aside from one-on-one conversations and the stealthy packing of a deceased person's belongings before anyone were to notice. Were they going to be allowed to grieve or required to carry on with their duties no matter what? Or both?

Lamar shrugged somewhat absentmindedly before replying. Due to Galileo's current circumstances, there wasn't much that could be done at the moment to honor the fallen. "His belongings are going into storage until we reach the next port." Lamar explained. "We're still assessing our casualties so there won't be any formalities until further notice, I'm afraid. But if you feel up to it, I'm sure Josef's family would like to hear from you?" he suggested with a raised eyebrow. "Even the smallest of communiques can help during times like these."

Confounded by the COB's suggestion, Aurangzeb was uncertain of what words he might be able to compose that could in some way assuage the intense feelings associated with the pain the Wilde family would experience at the loss of Josef. Petrified of the idea, Aurangzeb shook his head, "I don't think there are any words that I could offer that could help the Wilde family start to heal."

The chief shook his own head to dismiss the notion. "I always feel that way every time I have to write a condolence letter to someone's family...the truth is, I never know what to say and it never gets any easier." he replied, "But it's the little things that we can do to help. The little things that you might not see as significant but that might help someone else with their grieving."

Aurangzeb thought over the COB's words for a long moment before conceding that he'd at least mull the idea over, but not necessarily commit. "Okay, I'll at least think it over." He paused before adding, "Sir, I realize this might not be such an opportune time to discuss this, but... well, with Josef being murdered... here..." He gestured to small pool of dried blood, "... is there any way that I could put in for a change of quarters?" It wasn't that Aurangzeb was overtly trying to be insensitive, in fact, quite the contrary; it was due to his own over sensitiveness that such a request was being made.

The young man's request was somewhat valid, at least in Lamar's opinion. It would probably be uncomfortable and could be potentially hazardous for Ameen's mental health if he had to come home to a constant reminder of the brutality of war. However, the cramped and still-chaotic condition of the ship was already pushing the operations department to the limit, and such requests concerning a change of room assignments was pretty low on the overall list of ship priorities. Still, it wouldn't hurt to ask around. "The ship is still in bad shape and some of the crew quarters took damage during the attack. But I'll talk to Ops and see what I can do for you." he replied with a nod.

Aurangzeb could more than appreciate the COB's observation concering the chaotic condition of the Galileo, its numerous departments and the over-extended state of their respective personnel. Aurangzeb, like so many of his peers, had been pushed to the brink... to the very reaches of their subjective limits, beyond scared and uncertain of the trials and tribulations that lay ahead after being subjected to such brutal discourse in the recent days. He felt lost and alone in a sea of people, drowning.

"Thank you, sir; I understand we're all stretched rather thin as of late, but I appreciate your considering the request." He paused, standing from the bed and turning to face the COB. "I know you have many demands on your time, especially now... so I won't keep you; I have duties to attend to myself." There was an undercurrent of genuine thankfulness in both the words and how they were spoken. Aurangzeb appreciated the COB taking the time to inform him of Josef's death and then going so far as to stay and help him cope with the loss; he understood that wasn't the primary purpose of the COB, yet gave thanks for the man's kindness and support.

Lamar nodded rather simply, as he did indeed have other duties to attend to. "No problem. As soon as I hear about any available bunks I'll be sure to let you know. And if you get stuck on that letter," he said in reference to the condolence letter to Josef's family, "Just send it to my PADD and I'll help you out." he added, then turned and walked away down the corridor, leaving Ameen by himself in his quarters.

At the COB's departure, Aurangzeb almost immediately sank to the floor; his body shook involuntarily as hazel-colored eyes penetrated the stain that permeated the carpet. The brave facade now a cracked revere, eyes grew misty as he tried to control his shallow breathing, hoping to subdue the rising panic attack swelling from within.

Shaking his head from side to side to will the swirlling images away, eyes squeezed shut tightly, he counted from one to ten, yet never quite made it past the number seven before eyes drew open, adjusting their attention back to the physical reminder of Josef's murder.

Standing quickly from the deck, Aurangzeb felt an overwhelming suffocation; he needed to escape from this place... to run. Stepping from within the quarters, back pressed against the corridor's bulkhead, he slapped either palm against its cool metal surface in an attempt to divert his mind from focusing too finely on the images conjured by an already overactive imagination. The physical diverersion started to occupy his mind, redirecting the focus to the pain now inflicted on countless nerve endings from the continued gesture. Slowly exhaling, his breathing soon became more manageable. Aurangzeb sealed the doors to Josef and... well, now just his, quarters and started down the corridor with wobbly legs. He didn't immediately understand why, yet was pulled in the direction of sickbay.

[OFF]

MCPO Lamar Darius
Chief of the Boat
USS Galileo
NPC'd by Lirha Saalm

&

Crewman Aurangzeb Ameen
Damage Control Specialist
USS Galileo

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