Eyes Wide Shut.

Posted on 07 Aug 2012 @ 9:49am by Crewman Aurangzeb Ameen & Lieutenant Commander Pola Ni Dhuinn M.D.
Edited on on 08 Aug 2012 @ 5:13pm

4,132 words; about a 21 minute read

Mission: Episode 01 - Project Sienna
Location: USS Galileo: Sickbay, Deck 4
Timeline: MD 08 - 1001 hours

[ON]

The set of paneled doors leading into sickbay unveiled the humanistic nature of Galileo's dire circumstances. Aurangzeb was intimately familiar with the mechanical devastation, often implementing repairs as if the inanimate objects were somehow living, breathing organisms. Yet he had privilege in knowing that, in truth, it was nothing more than technology and should one make a mistake, it was often easy enough to conduct the repair and then move on... no harm, no foul. The current state of sickbay offered a completely different perspective, one that unnerved Aurangzeb so profoundly, that he felt an inherent need to immediately withdraw. Through sure will, he felt compelled to stay.

Aurangzeb tried to avert his eyes from the injured and those recuperating, but the sickbay was over its capacity, there really wasn't a free bed available, even among those temporary stays that had been erected. He'd never before been exposed to so much carnage and it immediately filled him with grief and despair to the point of burbling over. How so much damage could be sustained in such a short period of time was astounding. In an instant, he felt an overwhelming desire to turn and run, to pretend that such realities didn't exist except in speculative rumor; to revel in his own ignorance of the situation and rest easy in the over simplistic nature of his own duties... after all, it was far easier to replace a burned out relay, but how was one to replace a fallen comrades life? The simple answer, it just couldn't be done.

He took several tired strides until heavy feet planted in the middle of the main treatment area, unwillingly watching in horrified fascination as his brain tried to convince is eyes to shut.

Having taken a moment to check on the critical currently being homed in her office, Pola leaned a shoulder against the wall, moving her hand to rub her tired eyes. She had given up all pretences of trying to keep her hair back in it's normal bun, the Doctor had pulled it into a messy ponytail, unable to keep the small tendrils back but at least keeping the majority of hair out of her eyes so as she would do her job. Her uniform had long ago seen better days. Blood stained most of the surfaces, her jacket and under-shirt having long ago been disregard, leaving her in just the regulation vest. The heat of sickbay was such that the normal temperature controls couldn't lower it. The amount of patients packed into such a small area didn't help.

Letting out a small sigh, Pola pushed herself away from the wall, returning to main sickbay where her attention was drawn to a man in a yellow uniform, the appearance of shell shock about him. The Doctor could understand, people who did not spend much time in sickbay or who weren't medical staff themselves, may find the appearance of sickbay at the moment a little disturbing. Moving towards him she smiled softly, "Can I help you?"

Aurangzeb's body shuddered in discomfort as he turned in the direction of the voice that had startled him out of a captivated revere. Radiantly colored hazel eyes scrutinized the woman. Even in her disheveled, tired appearance she was exceptionally beautiful. Had it not been for the bloodstained remnants on her uniform, her very presence may have immediatly set him at ease. Averting his gaze from the dry blood, he refocused his attention into eyes so black that they rivaled the void of space. He returned an uncomfortable smile, stomach feeling queasy at the sickening, acrid smells lingering in the stale air.

"I'm... um, with the repair crews ma'am." He started, "I'm hitting a wall after being up all night and was hoping there was something you might be able to prescribe to keep me going for a little while longer?" At the time of Aurangzeb's arrival to the sickbay, he'd already been up for over twenty-four hours; he imagined the same was true for the medical staff as well. He didn't envy them their task and thought perhaps they might feel the same of him.

Raising a hand, Pola rubbed it over her head as she looked around. She wouldn't be comfortable with giving the individual anything without first checking him over but the problem was that there wasn't exactly space anywhere. When the engineer's eye's had met hers, she had also been able to clearly read the discomfort he was having with being here. Looking around she saw that despite the chaotic appearance, things were actually more organised than one would expect. Meeting the eyes of her nurse, she indicated her head to show she was stepping out, they would know they could contact her on the comm badge attached to her vest.

Turning back to the engineer, she grabbed a nearby tricorder, figuring she could first talk and diagnosis and they could return for quick administration for any medication needed. Spotting a PADD, she also grabbed that to enable her to take notes before turning and smiling at the man beside her. "Let's go for a walk, I can spare 30 minutes and we'll see if there is something we can do."

Aurangzeb nodded fervently, a wave of relief suddenly washing over him at the opportunity to escape. "ukriy." He wasted not another moment in making a hasty retreat from the sickbay, if only to hesitate for the briefest of moments so that the woman could exit the cabin prior to him.

Deck four had remained relatively quiet with non-essential personnel still evacuated to allow unrestricted access to engineering teams for repairs. Additional damage control personnel circulated amongst the corridors like a swarm of honeybees, the occasional thicket of crewmen occupying a particular section a sign that repairs were well underway. Aurangzeb walked at a steady enough pace that the distance between himself and the sickbay was subjectively comfortable enough to slow and then stop near a deserted corridor.

"There were so many hurt, their faces filled with pain... I just, I don't understand." He finally managed through a ragged breath, unrelinquished honesty laced with panic in the tremble of each word. "How do you do it?" He'd never met this woman before, in fact today had been the first time he'd stepped foot into the sickbay since arriving on board the Galileo a short time ago, yet he couldn't stop the words from coming, the force of them like the rolling wave of an ocean. "So many broken..." He trailed off, placing a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stop himself from becoming ill. She was much stronger than he, a better person for being able to so calmly deal with such a horrific plight.

It was then that Aurangzeb questioned his very presence here and whether the right choice had been made in transferring to the Galileo from the Maine; a decision that was made for the lack of a better word, out of boredom. He wanted to experience something more exciting, an assignment that promised more challenges that would constantly test and hone his skills and expertise as an engineer. But at what cost? The lives of his fellow crewmen.

As she listened to this engineer, Pola had turned her head slightly in order to keep him in her view as she also watched the path they were walking to ensure that they dodged the debris. As his sentence had trailed off, she had seem him come to a sudden stop which she mimicked herself. Taking his arm to ensure he didn't collapse to the ground, she gently guided his body so as his back was to the bulkhead, allowing him to slide down to the ground into a seated position.

As Pola moved down onto her knees, she placed a finger under the man's chin, gently encouraging him to look back up into her eyes. She recognised that all this was was a panic and shock. She was also able to see the exhaustion in the depths of his eyes. "I need you to listen to me for a second...." Pola kept her voice calm and even, "....can you tell me what your name is?"

Aurangzeb sank to the deck below; knees bent, fingers curled around either in a tense pulsing. He responded to the woman's touch, letting his he'd fall back only slightly until it made gentle contact with the bulkhead. He breathed in through the nose and exhaled slowly through his mouth, lips pursed as his eyes remained intent on the woman's.

"Aurangzeb Ameen, ma'am." He said after a brief moment, the sickness he'd started to feel since entering sickbay slowly dissipating with each breath. "But you can call me 'Mouse'... most everybody else does." He noted with a soft laugh.

Laughing softly, Pola kept her finger under his chin, needing him to focus on her and not on the memories. "Mouse it is so... You can call me Pola. I'm the CMO here so at least you know your in good hands." Blindly reaching for the tricorder she left on the ground, the Doctor started a scan, knowing the buttons she needed to press inside out. "Tell me how you are feeling now Mouse."

Aurangzeb held Pola's eyes in his own, never wavering as they fixated. With each breath, he could feel a calm seep into every nerve fiber; soon, tense muscles relaxed, ragged breaths became more regular and the worry that creased his forehead smoothed. His body sort of went limp against the bulkhead, strangely more relaxed.

"I feel tired, really tired. A bit lightheaded, maybe anxious... I suffer from a fair bit of anxiety from time to time." He confessed, knowing that what he spoke of would remain confidential between himself and the Chief Medical Officer. "I was feeling rather ill earlier, but that seems to have passed." He shook his head, "I think its all finally caught up to me." He'd learned before coming to the sickbay that his roommate, Crewman Josef Wilde, had died during the Klingon incursion... apparently murdered while defending his station. That's one of the reasons as to why he'd come to the sickbay, hearing this news only made him want to escape the confines of his quarters and focus on the work at hand. The COB had been more than delicate in revealing this news, not that it mattered anyway. Aurangzeb hardly knew Wilde; although the two shared quarters, they hardly saw or interacted with one another due to their varying work schedules. They ran in completely different social circles, well, Wilde did at least, Aurangzeb didn't really have a social network of any kind. Add to the fact that he'd been on board a very short while, they just hadn't really had the time nor opportunity to become better acquainted. To Aurangzeb, Wilde was merely another knotch on the Klingon's scorecard, a number that was physically represented in the sickbay. Though, considering he didn't want to be in his quarters right at the moment meant that it had affected Aurangzeb more than he'd like to have admitted.

"How do you do it?" He asked again, "I mean... deal with that?" He gestured back towards the sickbay.

Satisfied that we wouldn't be sick on her, or worse still pass out, Pola settled herself into a sitting position in his eyesight range as she glanced down at the tricorder, happy to see his adrenaline levels seem to have been dropping. She knew these would have dramatically increased during his brief moment of panic. "Well....it's my job I guess, it's what I'm trained to do and handle. If I panic or can't deal with what I'm seeing it means people will die who shouldn't. But I tell you what...if I tell you a secret do you promise not to tell anyone?"

Aurangzeb nodded, intrigue befalling his expression as he adjusted his posture against the bulkhead.

"I get scared alot. When you hold the life of someone else in your hands that's alot to need to take onboard." Moving her eyes from the tricorder to Aurangzeb's face, Pola smiled ever so slightly. "For every five to ten people I save, there will be another who I haven't managed to save sometimes this includes people who I work side by side with. It's ok to be scared sometimes... you wouldn't be human if you weren't. It's how you deal with it which matters."

There was wisdom in her statement and it reminded him that even the fearless are shaken from time to time. It wasn't necessarily the emotion of fear that hindered a person, but the manner in which they coped with it. Aurangzeb could appreciate that. But what if that fear was so debilitating one simply couldn't cope? It was one of the reasons he kept people at arms length, not really allowing them full, unshielded access. If he became too emotionally invested, too attached and then they were summarily ripped from his life, he wasn't sure he could cope with the loss; that it might somehow defeat him.

He chided himself for not being more brave, he was intimately aware of his own limitations, his own weaknesses and bravery was one. "I guess I just don't understand why so many had to die." He offered when the silence extended to a point that even self reflection warranted him to say something.

"I mean, the Klingon's are supposed to be our allies... to fight alongside us, not against. It makes it difficult to know who to trust." He reasoned, chewing at his bottom lip.

Moving her body, Pola settled into a seated position, folding her legs to her side to try make herself more comfortable on the floor. She hadn't looked at his file yet, but to look at he couldn't have been older then 19, placing him only 9 years younger then herself. She remembered being that young, starting this job to save people but over the years realising that death was as equal a part of being a Doctor as saving people was.

"You trust the people you work side by side with. You trust the people you see everyday. You trust the people who right now are on their hands and knees repairing this ship with you. You trust people like me who are more worried about you than you are about yourself. If you spend your life questioning who you can and can't trust then you will be forever alone instead of letting even some people in."

A soft chuckle passed Aurangzeb's lips, it was one comprised entirely of irony. "As a general rule, I don't let people in... I don't trust them, how can I when their only genuine intent is to cause me harm?" He shook his head, "How can you rely on trust when situations like this convince us otherwise? So many dead, many more injured or missing... presumed dead. Our Captain abducted." He shrugged, the expression stressing the handsome, youthful features of his face conveying nothing more than absolute honesty. "It all seems rather fruitless to instill such trust in circumstances such as these." He finished cynically.

Smiling softly, Pola looked Aurangzeb straight in the eye to convey her sincerity, "But yet here you are, sitting in the middle of a corridor with a woman you barely know and being open and honest. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems that you somewhat trust me." Pola closed over the tricorder in her hand but kept her eyes on the Engineer, showing him his trust wasn't misplaced but trying to help him see that it was ok to be afraid but not to be afraid on his own.

Aurangzeb considered her words for a very long moment, concerted thought furrowing his brow. "I suppose you're right." He managed to offer after mentally investigating the logic of her statement as it pertained to his own argument yet finding nothing he could say to counter her logic in any way. "You're very wise." He admitted with unabashed honesty, "You remind me very much of my Mom..." He paused for the briefest of moments, realizing what he'd just said. "But you're not as old... obviously." Aurangzeb tried to recover. "Not that she's old, either and it's not like you have to be old to be wise, of course... but you two seem to think alike, but you don't look alike. You're much prettier." His cheeks were cast in the deep red color of embarrassement. "Not to say that she isn't pretty too, but... yeah." He let out a sigh of defeat as he reveled in his own awkwardness, an apologetic look pleading with Pola for forgiveness.

Smiling softly, Pola leaned forward and briefly touched Aurangzeb's arm. It was purely a gesture of comfort, even if she was in anyway attracted to the engineer he was far too young. She was concerned and worried about his anxiety levels and how he was coping. Even though she wasn't a counsellor talking seemed to help him. "I'm honored. It's obvious your Mum means a lot to you so I understand the sentiment behind your words Mouse."

Moving back slightly, Pola made eye contact again with Aurangzeb as she wanted him to trust her with her next question. "I am going to ask you something and I want you to trust me and tell me the truth. My scans show you are completely and utter wrecked tired. Your body is exhausted and needs rest and food. You've asked me to give you a stimulant to help you keep working... what's the real reason you don't want to stop working?" Pola had her suspicious that there was more to this given his high levels of anxiety surrounding the situation of the Klingons and who he could trust. She was willing to take him at his word and admit she was wrong, but she wanted him to trust her.

Aurangzeb shifted uncomfortably, his legs bouncing in slight agitation as a look of vulnerability washed across his face, a fruitless pleading with Pola not to force an answer. After the passing of a long moment in shared silence, he finally spoke, relenting to her probing eyes. "I... I d-don't want to go back there." He picked at a stray piece of lint, avoiding Pola's eyes as his own brimmed. "They killed him just inside the doorway, with no regard; they merely saw his uniform and elected to end his life based on that alone. He wasn't armed, he was merely responding to the call of general quarters and trying to report to his station. He was just a pilot, but that didn't stay his execution." He shook his head, "I can't go back and because I can't... my only option is to keep going." His voice was throaty, tight as he held back the exhausted tears, the facade shielding the turbulant emotions he felt for the loss of Josef, a man he hardly knew, crumbling as their own exposed vulnerability became a reality he could no longer deny. If someone as innocent as Josef could be so unceremoniously murdered, all of them could be fair game, too.

Studying Aurangzeb for a few moments, Pola resisted the urge to give him a hug. He was so young...at his age she'd still been in the acedemy trying to enjoy life and her lessons. She guessed that where the divisions of an officer and enlisted occured. Enlisted went out there and learned from scratch. They learned from being in the middle of the action and seeing it all.

Picking up her PADD. She erased the data pretaining to any medical files on it, leaving it as a blank slate. In it's place she imputted some personal codes, nothing linked to her role. Holding the PADD out, she gave the engineer the option to take it. "These are the codes to my quaters and my room number. As a senior officer, I'm afforded my own place, I don't have to share. I want you to go get some rest. You can take my bed, or wherever you feel comfortable. There's spare blankets in the closest in my room with spare pillows and you can help yourself to whatever else you need from the replicator."

Aurangzeb looked nearly dumbstruck at Pola's exceedingly warm and kind gesture; for a moment, he was paralyzed by the woman's heartfelt offering. Slowly, he extended a tentative hand to accept the data device. "That's... exceptionally kind of you; but I could never accept such a gracious offer." He studied the device for a moment, but inevitably shook his head. "It's not that I don't want to, believe when I say I do... it just that it wouldn't be right, I think. I hope you don't think me rude." Pola didn't know him, today was the first time the two had met; yet, she treated him as if they'd been close friends for years. What perplexed Aurangzeb was that he saw no hesitation in her good natured, genuinely heartfelt support and it made him wonder if she'd have shown such kindness to any other. In a wantingly selfish motivation, he discarded such a thought and decided to believe, whether true or not, that this kindness was was meant for him alone. Maybe she was right, perhaps there was a reason and a place for trust between them. He continued to hold the data PADD, not for the very personal information contained within it, but because of what the device represented. It was at that moment that he'd decided Pola was a friend, one that he wanted... one that he needed to desperately.

Seeing where Aurangzeb was still holding into the PADD, Pola covered his hand with hers. "Please Mouse...my quarters are sitting there unused. Hell the boxes are still packed as I'm not onboard long. Please...." Pola let her sentence trail off, locking eyes with the engineer to show her offer was genuine and what she wished for him to do. Not only did she know that he needed sleep, he also needed to see that there was at least one person on the crew whom he could trust, he could use her as a building block to build trust for others from there.

Aurangzeb didn't know what else to say; in response, however, he did nod. "Thank you, ma'am." The words were spoken with an utterly tired voice, but were heartfelt and genuine. Even if he were unable to grab a bit of rest, at the very least he could shower and grab a change in uniform before returning to duty. The prospect would provide the opportunity to avoid the quarters he'd once shared with Josef, at least until such time that the Quartermaster was able to make new room arrangements. "You're... beyond very kind." In a gesture utterly unlike Aurangzeb, he leaned forward and wrapped thin arms around Pola, hugging her gently.

Slightly shocked by the hug, after a moment Pola but an arm around Aurangzeb and returned the gesture. She could sense the vunerability within him and found herself concerned as she believed a sister would be for a brother. She realised that this man really needed a friend, someone he could trust, and she hoped he would see in her that person. Tightening the hug for a moment, she then let go and smiled at the engineer. "Go on with you. If you get stuck or find something wrong, just contact me anytime. I won't change the access codes until we get back to earth so the room is there anytime. Just promise me you'll use it."

The two rose from their seated position on the floor. Dipping his head slightly in thanks, he then nodded. "I promise... and thank you, I don't know how I might ever repay you for such kindess; you're a blessing from the Mother Godess, Pola." The volume of his voice became softer when he said this, yet never once wavered in its virtue of unbridled honesty. Leaning in once more, he embraced the woman for another brief moment before turning to leave. As he walked away, he couldn't help but to steal a glance over a shoulder, pausing to smile then wave. He felt a sense of relief and contentment wash over his entire being, tappiing into and feeding a tired soul. He felt a true friend had been made today, one that, as time passed and the friendship grew more substantial, could be implicitly trusted no matter the circumstances; the foundation for this friendship had been laid, leaving nothing more than unbounded emotional investment.

[OFF]

Lieutenant JG Pola Ni Dhuinn
Chief Medical Officer
USS Galileo

&

Crewman Aurangzeb Ameen
Damage Control Specialist
USS Galileo

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