Crisis of Conscience

Posted on 20 Feb 2016 @ 11:14pm by Petty Officer 1st Class Rebecca Williams

1,012 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Episode 10 - Symposium
Location: USS Galileo: Rebecca's Quarters
Timeline: MD90 2000hours

[ON]

Rebecca looked down at the ensemble she had put together. She hadn't been able to decide what would work...did she go daring or did she go conservative or did she just throw it all to hell and wear comfort clothes.

In the end she had settled for a mini dress, simple in it's complexity. The emerald green colour shone as the material traced each of her curves like a gentle caress, tight on her chest before flairing out to a skirt which stopped just short of her knee.

Wilhelm had her in a tizzy...she wasn't afraid to admit it but it was even more then that. He'd taken her life and turned it upside down...even inside out.

He provoked feelings in her which she had never felt before....Feelings which she would have turned tail and fled in the past if there had been any inclination of these type of feelings surfacing, she'd have run for the hills and never looked back.

Life was simple this way, you had no ties and nobody hanging from your arm demanding your time and attention. Why would people want to live any other way when they could live to be free? Who wanted relationships and engagements and marriage and children and...everything that having a significant other brought with it.

Sitting on the edge on her bed, the yeoman put her head in her hands as she felt overwhelmed...out of her depths....She wasn't even sure how or why this had happened. Wilhelm was the typical romantic...how many of these men had come and, very quickly, gone in her life; she knew the dangers better than most women. Some she had had her fun with, making it crystal clear from the beginning that there would be nothing more. Rebecca knew that she'd broken hearts but the men knew what they were getting into and had noone to blame but themselves.

So why...why the hell had she let Wilhelm in. Why had she given in...gone against all of her beliefs and principles for one night of giving him what he wanted? One night of making love to eachother...of worshiping the body of the other...manipulating and teasing as each fought the other for a dominance over passion and pleasure before submitting to it all. Over and over and over....

And now look...look at what had happened. She felt steam rolled, flattened to a pancake with everything that had hapened. Even Holiday was now involved...blasted Jonathan Holiday her blasted boss whom she'd to face every single day in work. What had she been thinking when she didn't hold Wilhelm back frm his wild ideas about them having a future together.

She couldn't even flirt with another man without the guilt welling up inside, just as it had with Malcolm the day before. How dare Wilhelm make her feel that way...she'd a right to flirt with whomever she wanted, she was tied to noone no matter who was involved!

But again...who was she kidding. She knew why she didn't stop him pushing her towards a night of loving passion...she knew why she felt guilt when she looked at another man and thought of how he would feel under his body...the science officer had gotten in under her skin.

The damn...frustrating...confounded man had crawled right in and made his bed with her body. Wilhelm had taken her as his and she had let him...she had left him walze his way into her mind, body and heart....

Rebecca squeezed her eyes tightly shut as that one word resounded in her mind, heart...she refused to believe that she could let a man get so close. Her heart was one of stone, nobody penetrated it's barriers no matter who they might be. Not even her parents had shown love...preferring to raise her in a clinical way to be who she was and to be the darling daughter...well she'd shown them. She'd made no secrets of her activites once she was of a legal age. Their darling daughter was a slut and she wasn't afraid to be called such.

Pressing the heels of her hands harder against her eyes, Rebecca found her thought's turning back to Wilhelm again as she cursed him to the depths of hell and back again. Who did he think he was?!? He was being reckless with her life and he didn't even care...he didn't care aslong as he got what he wanted...her body and everything that came with it.

That was really it wasn't it? Her body that he lusted after like every other man she had taken to bed. He lusted after the skin he left his mark in...he lusted after implanting himself in her body and leaving his life and soul behind. That's all he wanted wasn't it...all of this making love...all of this romance and dinner...it all lead to an ultimate end which involved sex.

Holiday...that was just to show the men of the ship who Rebecca's new owner was....She was spoiled for anyone else hands and eyes because Wilhelm owned her now.

Without realising it, Rebecca arm went out as she punched the bulkhead by her bed. The pain caused her vision to go red as the blood dripped from the scraped knuckles.

As her vision began to clear and all that was left behind was raw pain...the pain was almost a wake-up call...what had she let happen? No matter how many excuses she came up with it all came back to one thing...she was on a downward spiral on which she had no control. The end of the spiral contained one thing...one element which no matter how hard she tried to run she could not escape....

Rebecca knew that she was falling in love....


[OFF]

Petty Officer 2nd Class Rebecca Williams
Yeoman to Captain Jonathan Holiday
USS Galileo

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