Post-Partum Check-Up

Posted on 26 Nov 2014 @ 8:19pm by Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle

1,862 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: USS Galileo, T'Vanna Murray's Quarters
Timeline: MD -27 0900 hours

Having sent T'Vanna a an intra-ship text message before stopping by, Delainey was reasonably sure she would not be disturbing T'Vanna or the baby, but she still hesitated before ringing the chime to their quarters. Though Delainey didn't have children of her own, the doctor and counselor could appreciate how difficult it was to settle a newborn into a routine on a busy starship.

Carlisle looked down at the baby gift she'd brought, a planetary mobile that fit over the crib and played music, hoping it wasn't something she already had.

Having just settled Emma into her crib, T'Vanna now walked back to the living area and towards the door. Pressing the control next to it, the door slid open. "Ah counselor, welcome. Please come in. I've just settled Emma in bed, so we have all the freedom to talk."

"Oh perfect," Delainey answered softly as she entered. "Thank you for allowing me to stop by. I know you've probably got a lot on your plate." She held up her gift bag with the mobile tucked inside. "I wanted to get Emma a little something."

"Oh she'll love this!" T'Vanna exclaimed, while peering into the bag, "I didn't have one of these yet, and it's gorgeous. Thank you. can I get you anything?"

Delainey smiled, clearly pleased she'd chosen well. "You're most welcome. I'd love some lemonade if it's not too much trouble?"

"Provided the replicator works right, I'm sure I can get lemonade," T'Vanna smiled as she headed to the replicator. Seconds later, she returned holding two glasses with what could pass for something of a lemonade-ish nature. "Hope it tastes okay. Some things come out fine, while others just come out as unidentifyable mush."

"Thanks," Delainey replied after accepting the glass. Taking a sip, she noted it wasn't too sweet, but it was refreshing. Setting her drink on her lap, she said, "I don't want to intrude, but I wondered how you were feeling?"

"Oh I'm fine, I'm actually feeling well enough to go back to work at least part time for the time being. I suppose, it befalls to you to assess that?"

Delainey nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll be checking in on you periodically, as post-partum challenges don't always follow a predictable time table, and I want you to know you always have support," she added with a smile. "So what have these first days been like?"

"Crazy," T'Vanna laughed, "but good crazy. Almost daily visits from Doctor Mott, checking up on me and Emma. And there was Oren of course, he's such a sweet man." Her cheeks turned a slightly darker shade of green at the mention of Irdis' name. "And he loves Emma, contrary to my roomate who doesn't even want to get near her."

"You have a lot of support, it seems. Male support," she added. "How has that been?"

"Not too bad, though I found a kindred spirit too. Lieutenant Zhao, she gave birth a few hours after I did and we've been spending some time together. Other than that I don't quite have any female uhm....support here."

Delainey smiled at the mention of Min and Lian. They were naturally the perfect companions. "How do you feel about that?"

"It feels good to have someone to relate to, especially since she didn't exactly expect to get pregnant either. But I wish I had some other friends, even though there's still time for that. Perhaps, when I return to duty."

"You'll be a little less isolated," the counselor replied. "Who's going to watch Emma when you go back to work?" She knew having consistent childcare was of great importance to single parents.

"That's something I haven't quite figured out yet, especially since my roommate is afraid of babies..." T'Vanna sighed softly. "Perhaps there's a nurse in sickbay able to watch her for a few hours. Unless my boss will allow me to keep her in my office, which I really doubt."

Delainey nodded. "Probably not. There are others with children here. I'm not aware of too many others with infants, but perhaps one of the teachers could serve as a nanny." Carlisle smiled. "Selfishly, I wouldn't mind some Emma time."

"You'd have to share with Oren," T'Vanna grinned, "and Tuula. But I believe between the three of you she'll be in good, and safe hands."

"Thanks for saying so," Delainey replied with a grin. "I know this is a bit of a delicate subject, but I'm wondering if Emma's father knows of her arrival, and what, if anything, you feel toward him now in light of her birth? Often, feelings become more intense after giving birth, because she's real now."

"No." The answer was short, cold and simple. "He doesn't know, and I don't want him to know either. I don't want that ass anywhere near her. I'm more sure now, than I was before her birth. I was with him once, never had any dealings with him after that either. He used his telepathy on me, to seduce me, he was a Betazoid. He even admitted to it afterwards so no, I want him nowhere near and I don't want him to know."

Delainey frowned. "I can see you're upset." She didn't understand. "How did he use his telepathy on you? I don't follow."

"He used it to read me, and quite likely steer my desires. He was good looking you know, and down the line I wouldn't have minded more than just a hug and a kiss, but he used it against me and before I knew it we were in bed together. I never saw him again after he left the next morning."

Carlisle wanted to make sure she understood exactly what T'Vanna was saying because what Delainey thought she was hearing was very serious. "Are you saying you didn't want to have sex with him and you believe he used his abilities to coerce you into sleeping with him?"

"Yes, I believe exactly that. I'm not that kind of girl counselor, I don't just go around and sleep with everyone I come across. I had wanted to wait for the right person, I didn't exactly plan on getting pregnant. I don't even understand how that was possible anyway given I did use birth control. I don't know exactly what happened, but I do know that he used my feelings against me."

Delainey didn't want to put words in Murray's mouth or misinterpret what she was saying, but to avoid that, she had to ask some questions that were more personal than perhaps the new mother expected. "How are you feeling about talking about all this now? I ask because I want to understand what happened better but to do that, I need to ask some more in-depth questions. Are you up for that?"

"Just let me put Emma to sleep and then sure...got to happen sometime I guess, might as well be now. " T'Vanna made her little girl comfortable then gestured towards the couch. "Fire away."

Delainey hesitated just for a moment. These weren't the sorts of questions she wanted to ask while surrounded by T'Vanna's joy, but no matter the difficult transition, she would not leave the young woman's feelings ignored because of Carlisle's discomfort. "I don't want to put words in your mouth, but if I were to wonder whether you believed you were raped by Emma's father, how would you feel about that?"

"You might be wondering correctly," T'Vanna replied flatly, "which is exactly why I have not informed the father nor will I ever want him near her. If I were able to say no, I would have. But any advocate will state that I did want him, and that there was consent, because he was reading my desires and I admit he was, at the time, quite desirable."

Delainey had to admit she was struggling with the idea herself. By T'Vanna's own admission, the desire she felt was her own. If a man with no psionic skill had been able to "read" a woman's verbal and non-verbal cues of attraction and had then responded in kind, was that sexual coercion? It always came down to whether the survivor in question had failed to offer consent or had withdrawn it at any point.

Of course, what ultimately mattered was T'Vanna's perception of the event, at least in terms of emotional and psychological support, and it was that perception she wanted to understand better. "Above all, my primary goal is to see to your health and safety," Delainey began. "My role is not to judge whether your perception of things is right or wrong. I wasn't there, and the last thing I want to do is make you feel worse. I suppose it would help me understand your experience better if you could tell me more about being unable to say no?"

T'Vanna shook her head. "I don't really want to discuss that," she said, "there's nothing I can change about the event and I have this beautiful little girl to take care of. She's a gift really, even if I intended for her to come about or not. Coerced or not coerced, it doesn't matter, she bears no fault and I can't look at it that way either. It happened, and something like that will never ever happen again."

"Of course she bears no fault and of course you will love her regardless," Delainey offered with a nod. "Talking about and receiving support for what you went through when you conceived her does not mean you blame her or don't love her. I would never think you were a bad mother or were going to be a bad mother simply because her father did something to you that was not ok. I can imagine having her doesn't make the confusion and betrayal you described from her conception go away. I can imagine being betrayed like that might make it hard to trust other people and perhaps even your own feelings sometimes."

"Can you?" T'Vanna returned, sharper than she intended. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's done, finished, in the past. Nothing I can change about it either, nor won't it change how I feel about the event." She shrugged. "I'm in a relationship now," the Vulcan woman added, feeding to the rumour she and Oren had started. "The sweetest man I've ever come across too..."

"That's great," Delainey replied gently. "It sounds like this relationship will be a different experience for you with new things to look forward to and perhaps some new challenges. Sometimes new relationships have a way of bringing up feelings and struggles from the past, so if you find yourself reminded or overwhelmed by some things, just know I'm here to listen."

"I know." The Vulcan woman smiled again. "Oren's way different than my one night lover. He's kind and sensitive, and he listens."

They chatted for a little while longer about her relationship with Oren Irdis before Carlisle finally announced she had to go and return to her other duties.

[OFF]

Ensign T'Vanna Murray
Asst. Chief Intelligence Officer
USS Galileo

LT Delainey Carlisle
Counselor
USS Galileo

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