A new counselor

Posted on 26 Nov 2014 @ 8:16pm by Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle

1,659 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: USS Galileo, Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD - 26

[ON]

It had taken a few days, but Wintrow finally made it to the counselor's office. Though Alex had instructed him to see the ship's counselor as soon as he was able, Wintrow just had held off on it, not really wanting to see another counselor. Even though Alex could no longer be his, given their familial relationship ever since Alex took on the responsibility of being his guardian, Wintrow still confided in him, rather than Sarek's additional counselor Tilly Lantern.

Hesitantly, he pressed the chime, then linked his hands in front of his stomach, while looking down at his feet. He just radiated unhappiness.

"Come in." The doors opened on Delainey's word, and the counselor smiled for a moment, only to let it fall a moment later. She was used to people's non-verbal cues radiating anxiety, distress, and even anger, but the unhappiness that Wintrow radiated took even her by surprise. "Hello. I'm Dr. Delainey Carlisle. May I help you?" She knew the Cadet was here for an eval and she knew his history, but given his expression, she felt compelled to determine if something else had happened.

The boy looked as if he were about to burst into tears. "I'm here for my evaluation, I didn't have a chance to check in sooner." He held out a PADD to her, his hand shaking. "My orders to report in... and my psychological file. Some of it is eyes only ma'am, and I'd appreciate it if this gets no further than your office. If there is a requirement for a medic to know, it has to be cleared with you. Or me, if I'm able to." He was referring to a document that was sealed by Chief Counselor Alexander Bakura, and co signed by then chief medical officer Doctor Karen Myles.

Delainey accepted the PADD but did not take time to read it, as she was far more concerned about the person in front of her. He looked absolutely petrified. After making sure the PADD was placed in her secure desk drawer for the time being, she gestured for the young man to take a seat in her reception area. "Thank you," she said gently. "I'll make sure no-one has access to this who isn't supposed to. In the meantime, I'm here to help, and I promise, I'm not going to make you talk about anything you aren't ready for, ok?"

"Okay..." But what did she want him to talk about then, he wondered. What did she need to evaluate, his fitness to fly? "What do we talk about?" he asked carefully.

She resisted the temptation to smile at him, lest he think she was mocking him. Instead, she said, "Perhaps we could start with how you're feeling right now? It seems like you're upset."

"I am," Wintrow replied, "I'm not happy here. I miss my home...my friends..." He sighed miserably. "And I'm being treated like a child."

Delainey's first impulse was to point out as a cadet, he wasn't going to be given much freedom, but she knew there was likely more behind the comment, so she asked, "In what ways are you being treated like a child?"

"Ignored, not being taken seriously...being called 'kid' when I clearly indicate I don't want to be called that..." Wintrow shrugged. "I don't like being treated this way, not when I was just making progress on being my own person, and not being afraid of people. And now...it's starting all over again."

"Serving on a starship is stressful," Delainey agreed with a nod. "You got through your first year of the Academy, though, which is often the worst year for not being taken seriously. How do you think you got through that?"

"I didn't physically attend the academy ma'am," Wintrow explained, "I have been on the USS Sarek for the past two years and I learned all I know now on the ship, while serving the Fighter Wing and under the tutelage of the ship's Helmsman and XO ma'am."

"Of course," Delainey recalled, "but surely you have some experience with having to prove yourself amongst people who are reluctant to give you much responsibility?"

"All my life ma'am," Wintrow confessed, "and I had to fly on the holodeck a lot before I was allowed into space. It took me a while to get the hang of controlled landing my craft ma'am, as well as crash land without killing myself." He cast her a rueful smile. "I've gotten particularly good at that, I'm afraid. Crashing, I mean."

Delainey smiled. "Believe it or not, making mistakes with grace is a valuable skill too. I think in time people will see you're capable, you've just got to give them time to see it."

"I hope so..." The boy sighed again, sitting back in his chair, trying to relax. "I just miss home, my friends..."

Delainey nodded. "That's perfectly understandable. How are you sleeping?"

"Well enough I suppose, still having the occasional nightmare but I'm pretty used to that by now. I've spoken to prior counselors it should be in my file and no amount of talking has made them go away. It's not often, so it doesn't really bother me, and it doesnt affect my duties."

"When you do have a nightmare, how do you cope?" Carlisle wasn't sure if he was minimizing their impact for her benefit.

"Sit awake for a few minutes, maybe walk around or go read something before going back to bed. I push it aside, and go back to sleep, most of the time."

"And the other times?" Delainey asked, hearing the unspoken response.

"Other times I lay awake for a while." Wintrow shrugged. "I'm used to it now and as I said no amount of talking has made them go away."

"Has talking helped you in any way?" She was curious now. Earlier, he'd seemed so frightened to meet with her and now she wondered if he believed counseling could help him at all.

"Sometimes," the boy admitted, "but just as often it just got me nowhere. But it does help to talk, I mean, I have to talk to someone about how I feel right? To give this all a place?"

"What do you think? In what ways has talking helped you?"

"I don't know..." Wintrow hesitated for a moment. "In ways it has helped me respond better to unknown situations, like meeting new people.. but other than that I'm not quite sure."

Delainey nodded. It sounded like Wintrow's view of therapy involved it being thrust upon him. She wondered if he was given more ownership of the process what he would offer. "You've said counseling has helped you meet new people, but you're not sure how else it's helped. I'm wondering if you could choose what to work on in counseling, what it would be?"

"Being less afraid of new situations," the youth answered promptly. "Being less afraid of people."

"Ok," Delainey replied. "Tell me a bit more about what your fear looks and feels like, and some of the situations that make you most anxious."

"I don't feel well when people are dominant," Wintrow confessed after a second of thought, "I don't like confrontations, especially when someone raises his voice. I don't take well to being shouted at. I'm always afriad in such instances, that I'll end up hurt or worse. It happened that way with Russell, my brother. Any time I tried to stand up to him, I ended up being hurt, quite badly sometimes. And any time I wanted to report it, I was beaten down. I want to learn to stand up to people, without the fear of being hurt in the process."

Delainey nodded in understanding and considered how to phrase her next question. "Besides shouting and raised voices, are there other behaviors that cause you anxiety?" Carlisle was trying to get a better understanding of Wintrow's definition of dominant. Often trauma survivors were hypersensitive to threat, reacting with fear to something that a non-survivor wouldn't as readily interpret as threatening.

"I don't respond well to verbal and physical altercations," Wintrow elaborated. "I'm trying to cope, and I'm doing better than before, but it goes up and down. I don't really know how to explain..."

"You're explaining yourself well, Wintrow. I'm getting a good picture of things so far," Delainey offered with a nod. "Would you say you feel like you get into verbal altercations often? Does it feel like a variety of people are approaching you in an aggressive or confrontational way?"

"It's not necessarily an aggressive of confrontational way," Wintrow mused, now that he really thought about it. "At least, I don't think so, it's just how I feel. I don't get into a lot of altercations, I try to avoid them ma'am. I did get into something with my departmenthead, and another pilot...when we were up to our heads in tribbles. It wasn't fun."

"Will you tell me more about that?" She wasn't glad for him that he'd been in the situation, but on the bright side, it was an opportunity to understand his needs and to get a sense of how he was relating to at least some of the crew.

"I.." The boy hesitated, closing his eyes. "There was a briefing, and Miss Mealin wasn't feeling well. I tried to express concern and it wasn't appreciated, nor do I feel my opinion was valued in regards to the Tribbles. It sounded as if they wanted to just kill them and even though they were a pest, that just didn't feel right to me. You know?"

Wintrow watched as the counselor nodded, and took a quick peek at the chronometer. She excused herself and told him to reschedule his next appointment with another counselor. Before Wintrow could respond, she had left the office.


[OFF]

Cadet SO Wintrow Paragon
Support Craft Pilot
USS Galileo
[PNPC T'Vanna]

LT Delainey Carlisle
Counselor
USS Galileo

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