Into Your Own Hands

Posted on 26 Nov 2014 @ 8:21pm by Lieutenant Prudence Devin Ph.D.

2,154 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: Starbase 84 - Deck 22, Office 11
Timeline: MD8, 1500 hours

ON:

Now that they were free of the quarantine, and had spent a few days on starbase, Naois had left his children in the care of one of the base's schools to spend a day on his own. It had been almost a month since he had gone through the last stages of Pon Farr, but he was still feeling the effects, physical and psychological.

Though his bond with Eva had dissolved, he somehow still felt oddly aware of her despite knowing the link was gone. It left him keenly aware of his wife's absence, keenly aware of that dark void she'd left behind. And, even more aware of the fact that, approximately seven years from now, he'd be going through this again.

Shaking his head, he knew he had to speak to someone. A counselor, after all, could not counsel himself, even though he no longer really served as counselor. Only, on request of the counseling department, if they required additional counselors, but otherwise he was now focusing on his medical carreer. The computer had told him there was a counselor on base at the moment, so he figured he might as well seek her out.

Glancing up from his PADD, he stopped in front of a reasonably non-descript door, and rapped his fingers onto the door's surface, then waited for a response.

"Come in," a female voice said. Lt. Prudence Devin wore her uniform with a skirt today, as it really didn't matter on the base. Her hair was curled, but oddly controlled too. She wore makeup, but not enough to distract. She stood up as she saw her next appointment enter, an easy and pleasant smile on her face. "Lieutenant Mercy, I presume? I am Prudence Devin. Please...come in and have a seat. Would you like some green tea?" She was already moving to the old-fashioned pot that had been brewing and the small cups were already on the table. She was nothing if not organised with these things. She had purposefully left her own rank at the door...ranks never helped her with counselling anyway.

The half-Vulcan let his eyes roam across the office, taking note of the tidiness in it and the politeness of the woman. "Please," he answered her tea query. "I prefer Doctor Mercy, or Counselor Mercy," he added slowly, "or just Naois if off duty. I do not really like to be addressed by rank, it means little to me when not dealing with a chain of command."

She gave a small smile, nodding as she moved to pour the tea. "Then perhaps I may call you Naois in during these meetings?" she asked him, making a mental note he did prefer his education over the military side of Starfleet.

"You may," Naois permitted with a smile of his own, "how would I address you ma'am? I noticed you gave me neither title nor rank to address you with."

She took one of the small cups and offered it to him, meeting his eyes. "Prudence or Devin will do. I like keeping ranks and titles out of my sessions. Now, Naois...what can I do to assist you today?"

"I need to talk to someone," Naois explained, accepting the cup and setting it on his hand to support it. "It is a rather awkward situation ma'am, something... rarely discussed with outsiders." He looked around for a chair, then sat himself down in a nearby one that looked comfortable. "I recently underwent my second Pon Farr," he started, "but I have no wife. I found someone willing to help me, but now I feel... empty."

She searched his eyes for a long moment before nodding, sipping her own tea as she sat down. "If I understand correctly, a Pon Farr is...more than just a physical connection?" she asked him, wanting him to say in his words what it was.

"it is the Vulcan mating drive," Naois explained, his cheeks turning a slightly darker shade of green in obvious embarrassment at even discussing this. "Usually, a Vulcan male is already bonded at the age of seven, and the bond is completed at the first Pon Farr, thereby declaring the couple husband and wife. I was not bonded as a child, but I was married seven years ago. My wife died three years ago, somewhat unexpectedly. So, I am unbonded yet again. My wife's death has left me feeling alone, even though I have three children."

She frowned slightly, nodding at the words. "And you found a woman who was willing to help...despite not being bonded...." she said and sat back. "Naois, you are an intelligent man and you know counselling intimately. You must realise you feel empty because a part of you...did bond. A physical part of you bonded to this woman and despite you and her not being together as husband and wife, or even lovers...it has left a gap in you. The two ways to get past this is simple...accept and heal...or pursue her."

"Yes, I did. She approached me in sickbay and we did bond. A temporary bond, for the duration of the madness. I do not know how to heal ma'am. I lost my wife, a woman I loved dearly, more than anything in the world. And this woman...I am grateful to her, because if not for her I would be dead and my children orphans yet again." He paused, sipping his tea. "I do not love her," he added.

Prudence watched him for a long moment before frowning. "I'm sorry for your loss. But...all I can offer if that and advice. Focus on your children. If you do not love this woman, then stay away and focus on your children. Make friends. Spend time with them too. Time is the only healer."

The Vulcan nodded slowly. "I am trying," he informed her, "but it is not easy. A time like this made me realise I do need a wife, and my children need a mother. My wife, she was a healer, she too saved me, on my first Time. But we had already started a relationship, so it was easier for her too. Eva..." He paused. "Eva is different, she did know what she was getting into. And she got hurt, I hurt her. I have not seen her since we parted ways, after we went to medical for treatment." He cast the counselor a rueful smile. "I got hurt too. I suppose, she may be a good match for me, but only time will tell right?"

"Naois..." she leant closer, watching him for a long moment. "Why do you need a wife? Your next Pon Farr won't be for awhile, if I understand it correctly?"

"Seven years." He hesitated. "I do not want to be alone," he admitted, "I have my children but I am lonely. I miss having a companion, a friend. Someone to share good, and bad times with."

Prudence sipped her tea as she considered his words. "Make friends. If one of them is a suitable mate then...you will find out within the next seven years. But love takes time, Naois. And you need to give yourself the time to find someone who fits you, not just who fits at the time."

"I understand that," the Vulcan replied slowly, studying her for a moment. "But that does not negate my fear of remaining alone. I do have friends, but I return to an empty home. My children are still very young and they go to bed early, so that leaves me with very lonely evenings."

"I am afraid that as a counsellor...I can only advice you to do something about it. Get a babysitter, go out. I hear that your ship has activity groups? Then go and partake in those. Make those evenings busy when you can," Prudence said, searching his face for a moment. "And perhaps you need to start...appreciating yourself. It helps the fear when you love yourself and your company."

"That too will take time. I took time off after my wife died, because I nearly lost my way. I was a mess even just before she died and when I found out I would lose her, I lost it myself. I hurt my best friend, and I lost a lot of friends in that time. I tried to make amends but failed, so I decided to take time off. Focus on my children, and get better. I am not there yet but I believe that being here will help me make a fresh start. I went back to the academy for my medical degree. I want nothing more, than to help people."

Prudence met his eyes, a slight frown coming to her. "Then you know your journey already," she said, gently. "You hold the power and the knowledge."

"All I need is the courage to follow through," Naois added, sipping his tea. "Right? And someone to guide me along so I will not stray from my chosen path."

"I think that it is less about courage and more about force. You get up and you do what you need to do," Prudence said and nodded gently. "But I agree, you need support to make sure you maintain that."

"A counselor could be such support...from a mental point of view," Naois remarked carefully, "a soundboard, if you will."

"If you want to set up regular sessions with myself or another counsellor, then naturally we will arrange it," Prudence said as she held his eyes. "That was what you were asking, right?"

"In a roundabout way, yes ma'am." He returned her gaze, smiling softly. "That is what I was asking. I feel, I may need the encouragement and it may help me in the long run."

"Very well. Although in the future, I prefer a more direct approach rather than...flowery words," she said bluntly, arching an eyebrow. "It avoids confusion, which is something I am always striving to avoid in this office. Would you like to see me or one of the other counsellors?"

"It makes more sense for me to continue seeing you as part of therapy," the Vulcan commented logically, "since I have already spoken with you about my issues. It is illogical to repeat them and start over with another."

Prudence chuckled softly, giving him a small nod. "As you wish," she said, not seeing any issue with that. Besides, she needed to fill her book somehow and he was a good candidate. She wanted to help him.

"Thank you counselor. When shall we meet again? At what frequency?"

"I think every two weeks?" she suggested, watching him. "Maybe even every three weeks. I want to be...guiding. Not controlling. And I know you are fully capable."

"Perhaps start with two weeks, and then when appropriate, reduce frequency," Naois suggested. "Also, do you wish to see my children too? They probably need to talk to someone, unless there is someone specialized in counseling children and you prefer to refer them?"

"Children's psychology is not one of my specialisms. I can see about another counsellor seeing them," Prudence said, smiling weakly. She didn't see the need to see them, not yet. But if there wasn't anyone else to see them, she would do it as she was the Chief.

"I will leave that to your judgement, as obviously, I cannot counsel my own children nor am I officially a counselor on this vessel. But, as offered, I am at your disposal when there is a requirement for more counselors. I am keeping my license valid."

Prudence watched him for a long moment before taking a deeper breath. "I am afraid I will not take you up on the offer anymore than I would offer myself in to conduct medicals on people. I want to avoid confusion between medical and counselling,"

"As you wish counselor. I had to offer, of course." He inclined his head ever so slightly in acknowledgement of her refusal. "I should head back to sickbay, I am on duty though I took time for this session. I will contact you to schedule our next appointment after my shift."

"Of course," she nodded and stood, holding his eyes at those words. "And I will see you soon."

"Yes ma'am." He set the cup of tea aside after taking the last sip. "Lovely tea," he added, "thank you. I must go now, have a pleasant day ma'am."

She watched him go, arching an eyebrow. Strange and unusual man. She shook her head, standing to take the cups to wash them. Eventually, she was sure she would be able to wrap her head around the different personalities. She might just need a few days.

OFF:

Lieutenant j.g. Naois Mercy
Medical Officer
USS Galileo
[PNPC T'Vanna]

Lieutenant Prudence Devin
Chief Counsellor
USS Galileo

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