A Meal Fit for a Gul

Posted on 03 Jun 2014 @ 5:57am by Lieutenant JG Wakeham Paul Alasia Ph.D. & Chief Petty Officer Lyras Ueda
Edited on on 06 Jun 2014 @ 3:32pm

989 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Episode 06 - Legend of Souls
Location: USS Galileo - Kitchen
Timeline: MD 02 - 1790 hrs

ON

"Jesus, I don't know!" Paul chuckled in frustration. "I studied Ferengi and the Dominion. Ferengi eat bugs and Vorta eat like a, I don't know, a nutrient paste. It's disgusting. I don't... please don't ask why I tried it."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures?" Lyras folded his arms against his chest, in an attempt to come up with some form of reasonable solution to their current 'issue.' "Cardassians are much easier to feed than Vorta. Much, much easier, and more sociable as well. Fortunately, Cardassians happen to be who I encountered the most. That does not make this any less difficult." He shook his head. "It's quite annoying, but we should at least try to accommodate in some manner or another..."

"I see now the value of understanding the cuisine of other cultures but this is, I guess, a bit of a blindspot for me. I don't know what we should feed them? Kanar I'm sure, right? And for dinner, like, fried..." Paul paused a moment hoping something would come to him. "could we just have the cook fry kanar?"

At this, Lyras merely stared at the other diplomat with a rather neutral gaze, wondering exactly where Paul got such ideas. "... Oh dear. I do not believe kanar can be cooked. We could probably use it for the toast."

"Well, if we're not going to be imaginative..." Paul chuckled.

"I suppose we could serve them Sem'hal stew..." Paul trailed off. "It's a little prosaic, I guess."

"A choice that could potentially work." Lyras already suspected that the Cardassians in question would have most probably ended up assuming that the 'feeble Federation vessel' would have chosen something more homey. Then again, Cardassian cuisine did have a reputation for being so bitter. "But, we should at least attempt to appease our crew too."

"We could just serve human food?" Paul raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Really do it up there..."

Lyras shook his head. "We could, but then the conversation would turn sour. It would only make them testy with the 'arrogant Federation pigs,' or whatever it is they call us these days."

"Yeah, you're right." Paul's eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, my God, it's perfect! Taspar egg! Boiled Taspar egg in Hollandaise sauce! We could even serve regat on the side for the Cardassians and ham for the Fleeties." Paul smiled mischievously.

"Hollandaise would certainly cut the flavor of taspar eggs..." Trailing off, Lyras furrowed his brow and shook his head. "Except taspar eggs may not be the way to go... They are typically frowned upon in Cardassian society..."

"Yeah." Paul smirked. "I know."

Lyras' brow quirked upward, farther up his forehead than he would have originally thought possible. "That could potentially cause some friction at dinner." And the very delicate matter of delicately telling his co-workers that 'this was a bad idea' finally reared it's ugly head. However, he wasn't going to say 'no.' It wasn't likely the Cardassians were going to shoot the Galileo down or anything... or so he hoped.

"Look, I'm not a meet force with force kind of guy. Not generally. On earth, martial artists have studied hand-to-hand combat for thousands of years. You can fight a foe two ways. You can meet their strength with your strength or you can use their strength and momentum against them with minimal effort. I get that."

"Mm..." Lyras fell silent, now processing the plan that his companion had created for this dinner. He couldn't help but at least be a little intrigued. His tone turned a little more jovial, but still seemingly disapproving of the matter. "Taspar eggs could potentially be seen as... not Federation-like, I think. Perhaps maybe something along the lines of... playground antics?"

"You're absolutely right. It's a little petty and it's a little childish. But..." Paul elongated and emphasized the word. "there are times when a little passive aggressive jab can go a long way."

Lyras had to agree with that. A diplomat didn't always have to be a pushover to get the job done. The mission really didn't have much to do with Gul Verrok and his crew, not in the long-run. They just happened to be in the way of the mines. "... Very true."

"Consider the internal situation in Cardassia right now. The chaos of it. The part of this whole thing that scares the hell out of me is this ship." Paul pointed toward the floor. "The Nova. Forefront scientific technology. We represent an under-gunned over-investment. A very tempting target for ransom or tactical sabotage or information gathering about current Starfleet scientific capability. The message - the point of the taspar egg is to humiliate them - just that little bit. Let them know we're not pushovers. Let them know that while we're all smiles at the dinner - we know them - we know them better than they'd like to believe. Their culture. Their military. Their politics. Them. We know them."

Paul sighed. "Look, it's a lot of information to try to convey with a f------ egg. I get that. We're putting a lot of faith in their ability to read subtext but I think it's worth a shot. On this - on just this one thing. We don't roll over. We let them know we have some feistiness to us and let their imagination fill in the blanks."

The prolonged pause before the Vulcan's answer seemed much more awkward than he meant it to be. "... The only thing we would have to keep at bay are the crew's opinions on Cardassians... but, taspar eggs sound like a delightful, Cardassian delicacy. Much better than any idea I had."

Paul burst out giggling. "Oh, certainly!" he exclaimed in mock enthusiasm. "I don't know better is fair. Stupider definitely."

OFF

LT JG Wakeham Paul Alasia
Diplomatic Officer
USS Galileo

PO1 Lyras Ueda
Diplomatic Officer
USS Galileo
[PNPC - Kita]

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