Sanguine, Despite Loneliness [part 2]

Posted on 01 Mar 2014 @ 3:40pm by Ensign K'os Beaumont & Petty Officer 3rd Class Ellsworth Hudson

3,773 words; about a 19 minute read

Mission: Episode 05 - Solstice
Location: Sanguine Nights Hotel & Casino
Timeline: MD 35 - 1330

[Previously]

He took a deep breath and turned to Ellsworth before opening their door. He studied the lines of his face, taking in those deep black eyes, momentarily lost in the beauty of them. He took a deep breath, resisting the urge to kiss him again. "That night in Chicago, Ellsworth Hudson, and the experience in Bali before that was a gift I've never been given before. I can only hope that this returns the kindness." He turned and opened the door with his key card.

[Continued]

When they stepped in they entered a completely new world. Birds sang in the near distance and sunlight reflected off a large lake. They had entered a holosuite theme room of the hotel. Coniferous trees lined every available edge of the lake for as long as the eye could see. By the rocky shoreline laid a canoe with a couple paddles. His overnight bag had already been sent in and was resting by a large rock. He outstretched his arms and breathed in the - fake - but realistic smell of the forest. "It's a replication of where I spent many summers as a child. This is Eagle-Dogtooth Lake." He smiled stupidly as he tried to gauge Ellsworth's reaction, hoping he'd like it.

Ellsworth had never opened an hotel room door and seen a forest inside, so he was completely stunned. He stepped inside and reached out for a pine tree's branch, feeling the waxiness of its needles between his fingers. With a sense of wonder he kneeled down and ran his hand over some light green colored lichen that mixed with the moss lining much of the forest floor. All around him pines, firs, hemlocks, and spruces seemed to stretch out as far as the eye could see and lined the shore of the pristine lake. He took a moment to inhale the earthy scent of the boreal forest before looking over his shoulder, giving K'os a subdued smile that belied his true feelings about the gesture.

When he reached him at the doorway the first kiss came on hard with a ferocity driven not by sexual need but by love and appreciation; he held and pressed the kiss until it hurt before releasing the lip lock. The few that came after were no less fierce but definitely more gentle, though he felt certain that no kiss or words or gestures would be enough to fully demonstrate his love and appreciation to his strapping half-Vulcan prince. No one had ever done anything for Ellsworth even remotely like this, nothing to respond in kind to his loving gestures, nothing to spoil him without expectation of reward, nothing that ever made him feel...loved.

He finally settled down from standing on the balls of his feet and smiled dumbly at K'os, utterly lovestruck. "Consider the kindness returned and more, K'os Beaumont."

K'os was both relieved and disappointed simultaneously when the show of affection stopped. The stimulation it elicited was bordering on overwhelming but not in any sort of unpleasant way. Which was pleasantly surprising to K'os. Just as he continued to surprise Ellsworth, he too made him feel like a million gold pressed latinum. "I feared briefly during meditation that this wasn't sufficient. I'm glad I was correct in eliminating such needless thoughts. Have you canoed before?" He asked, knowing that not all cultures practiced of this form of recreational travel.

Ellsworth shook his head. "Not reeeally... I've been on bigger boats, like sailboats and speedboats. But never anything like a canoe. Or what's the other thing? Kakak? Kaihack? You know, the thing for one person. Or two people? I don't know how many can fit in one." Feeling like he was rambling, he cut himself short. His hand reached out and touched K'os's forearm; through the fabric, he could feel the muscles that made him want to grin. "You're going to teach me, right? Or maybe I can just lay back in luxury, put my feet up, sip a drink..."

"Of course I'll teach you!" He laughed, "And I think you mean a kayak? I feel claustrophobic in those. I prefer canoes. Let me show you." He walked down to the shore and flipped the two person craft. He tipped it over, and grabbing the thwart's he effortlessly swung the canoe over his head and waded into the water up to his ankles. He flipped the canoe into the water and steadied it with his hand. "You should sit at the front and I'll guide you. We're heading to that island over there," he pointed. "We have all day to relax and study. Have you slept outside before?" Though it was a holosuite, the immersion of the forest was realistic enough that K'os felt as though they truly were outdoors.

Ellsworth eyed the craft warily then followed K'os' hand to the island in the lake. He grinned. Sleeping outside meant sleeping next to each other, and sleeping next to each other meant making up for all the cuddle time he'd been missing. "Yep, I used to sleep outside on Risa all the time, usually on the balcony or the beach. There weren't any forests like this. It's...beautiful."

He tossed his bag into the canoe and then made a spectacle of himself trying to get into it without tipping it over. He stood awkwardly in the middle, wobbling from foot to foot.

"Am I supposed to sit down now? Will you make fun of me if I fall before we even get in the water?"

K'os scowled with concern, making the Vulcanoid brow ridge show on his forehead. His bottom lip pouted. "I would never make fun of you." His face then lit up again as his emotions flipped the other way. "Just sit up there at the front and I'll hand you a paddle." He held the canoe firmly with his hands until he had found his place. Then he handed him a long wooden paddle. "Ready?" He said before giving the craft a gentle shove and hopping into the back with ease.

He settled in to the seat at the back and with a large strong thrust he dug the paddle into the water, propelling the canoe forward. Though the island wasn't that far, he directed the canoe along the shoreline to give Ells a chance to take in more of the scenery. The computer had done a good job of recreating the lake he remembered from his childhood. In the distance you could see places where a couple rivers emptied linking this lake with other lakes. There were decidedly more wildlife here than in the actual wild, an obvious feature of the program, but it was a nice experience regardless. A moose crashed out of the lake up ahead and into the brush as they disturbed his eating, and on more than one occasion a fox or deer would dart in and out of view along the shoreline.

The moose had startled Ellsworth enough that he defensively brought his paddle out of the water, although he wasn't entirely sure what he would have done to defend them against such a large creature. It took him a good deal of time to master the rhythm of paddling, but K'os was patient with him. They both knew that he could have easily propelled the craft all on his own, but Ellsworth was stubborn even after causing them to go in a circle. Twice.

"You can't see the bottom," he said, leaning slightly to look at the glassy surface of the water and sounding a little nervous about it. It seemed absolutely pristine, and he thought he saw some sort of fish dart past them. He turned around as much as he dared and craned his neck the rest of the way to look at K'os. "It's hard to believe we're in a hotel room! I can't believe you spent your summers here. You should see the places I spent my summers. They're a little...urban...by comparison."

"The program recreates it nicely." He smiled, remembering his childhood fondly. He pictured his mother, laughing and splashing water at a young K'os. He nudged the memory away before he felt the emotions attached to it. "I had a lot of themes to choose from, but this seemed the most peaceful." He left his paddle in the water and with a twist of his wrist turned the canoe towards the island. "Ready for the open water?"

"Yeah!" Ellsworth said, sitting up straight and preparing his paddle. He looked over his shoulder and grinned. "I'll race you. I think I'm almost guaranteed to win this time..."

K'os laughed, noting the lack of echo that would have been heard had they really been outside and dug his paddle into the water. The canoe propelled forward. He timed his strokes with Ellsworth's, making tiny corrections to keep them on course. It took less time to reach the island than he remembered, most likely an effect of the smaller holosuite. The sun was warm and as they approached the island, you could spot a make shift campsite through the dense trunks of White Spruce. Many Aspen grew here too, and as K'os directed the canoe to a good spot to pull up, his attention was drawn to the trembling of the tiny leaves at the top of the long skinny trunks. He slowed the canoe and turned it expertly to allow an easier exit for Ellsworth.

"Looks like you won." K'os said watching him scramble onto the shore.

Ellsworth grinned and raised his paddle in the air with both hands, shaking it triumphantly. "I am the greatest canoer in Room #477!"

"Woo!" K'os hollered back, scaring an otter back into the water by accident. "You're an expert paddler now." He laughed again, his smile straining his cheeks.

Ellsworth had to force himself to focus on his surroundings; otherwise, when he tried to recall the memory later all he'd remember would be K'os and some vague outlines of trees or something. Maybe a lake. Mostly just K'os, though. Giving in to temptation, he cut his eyes over to watch him in a moment of voyeuristic observation. The young Vulcan hybrid was busy fetching their gear from the boat, leaning over its side to get one of the bags that was stubbornly just out of reach. He smiled at the sight and found it hard to believe - in that moment - that he could ever share his life with anyone else.

The young Betazoid was drawn inland by sudden curiosity over the aspen stand near the shoreline. The tall, skinny trunks looked absolutely bizarre to him - white instead of gray or brown - and he couldn't resist reaching out a hesitant hand to run over the bark. It felt papery, as if it was something stretched over the real bark underneath like an exoskeleton. He withdrew his hand and rubbed his fingers together, marveling at the unusual residue that felt powdery. A glance into the arbor showed bright green leaves, shaking and shivering in the wind, but still...

"Are these trees sick? Do they have some kind of disease?" Ellsworth asked, loud enough that K'os could hear him. "They don't look right."

"No, not sick. Those are called Aspen." He said as he joined the Betazoid. "They're my favourite." He reached a hand up and stroked the bark. "This entire grove is one organism. A clone of each other. Those over there," he pointed to the green bushy trees, "are a type of conifer. They compete with the Aspen, but this grove here was created when a fire spread. See?" He pointed at some old dead spruce trees in and around the tangle of Aspens that were blackened and charred. "Aspen needs fire in order to clear the way for regrowth. They are so resilient." He said, almost with affection as his hand remained on the trunk. He momentarily lost himself in the interrelationship that seemed so obvious to K'os, but went unnoticed by others.

Ellsworth joined him in admiration, though more of the admirer than the object of admiration. He'd grown up with such a poor education and struggled with so many subjects during enlisted training that knowledge and the knowledgeable were placed on a pedestal. He bounced on his feet once, kissing K'os on the cheek.

"I have a feeling that's a prelude to being humbled while camping," Ellsworth said, smirking. He took his bag off K'os' shoulder to ease the load and looked off through the undergrowth toward their campsite. "Are you going to have the camp set up, fire roaring, dinner roasting, birds singing and little foxes eating out of your hand before I can even finish unpacking my bag?"

"That would be quite the feat." He laughed stepping along side and putting a hand on the small of Ellsworth's back as they walked. He enjoyed the closeness and how natural it felt.

They walked into the clearing. An unlit firepit with a small stack of wood was off to their right, and some pre-programmed supplies sat neatly stacked against a tree. A flat area where they could sprawl out and look at the stars overnight was close to the firepit.

"Have you had any downtime since I saw you last?" K'os asked as he wandered to the supplies to inspect the gear.

"No," Ellsworth groaned, sagging his shoulders dramatically and dragging his feet as he crossed the open space. "There's so much to do, K'os, and it's just me. I don't know how the quartermaster on a Galaxy-class ship does this. He must have assistants or something. I can barely keep it all straight! I accidentally sent three crewman's personnel effects to the quarters of a Tellarite, and I thought I'd never hear the end of it. And then the studying... All the rules and regulations governing the use of so many different materials, and then I'm actually having to start learn what the materials do, which I'm so bad at and-"

He stopped and blushed. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I just haven't seen you in so long. There's stuff I want to tell you every day, so it just gets bottled up."

"You'll find your rhythm." K'os sifted through the supplies as he said over his shoulder. "Maybe things will calm down once we leave Earth?" He offered, trying to make him feel better.

Ellsworth nodded and smiled, feeling himself unwind a little bit from the tight spring he'd gotten himself coiled into. There was something sweet about the way K'os could put him at ease, especially since he knew what a torrent of emotion lay just below the surface. "I think so. So much of it is getting ready to leave Earth. I'm terrified I'll forget to order some critical, unreplicatable part or something... But what about you? You've been so busy..."

"Oh, being busy doesn't bother me so much. Others think it's weird, but I actually enjoy studying." He found an axe and brought it over to the stack of firewood for later. "Is that strange?" He asked innocently.

"No, it's adorable," Ellsworth said almost immediately, reinforcing it with a doe-eyed smile. He looked around the campsite and put his hands on his hips. "What can I do? Except put up the tent. I've broken three collapsible tents in my life. I'm cursed."

K'os grinned and retrieved the rolled up tent and poles. "Well good thing for safety protocols then." He too knew they should spend the time studying, but he couldn't stop looking at Ells. He handed him the tent and their hands touched briefly. An urge stirred within which he let linger rather than swiftly dispatch. After they unrolled the tent a thought came to him. "Other Betazoids I've met seem at ease reading my thoughts. Do you just turn it off?"

"Hmm, yes. Or...sorta. For one thing I'm just really bad at reading peoples' thoughts. I never learned how to do it, and I guess I just don't care enough to seek training or practice or whatever. I mean, I can do it. It's just difficult. Empathic stuff is easier, I think it comes naturally," he said, circling the tent closer to K'os. "And... Sometimes I think maybe it's not fair. Or ethical? I don't know. You shouldn't just go around reading peoples' minds all the time. Besides, I get to read your mind plenty when we touch, and vice-versa."

He placed his right hand under K'os' left hand and moved their palms together until his fingertips touched the underside of the half-Vulcan's wrist, where he moved them gently back and forth. Ellsworth waited until he could feel K'os' mind pressing against him but instead pushed back this time, gently pressing his own feelings of love and intimacy into the other's mind.

And then he let go, dropping his hand just as quickly as he'd taken it, and started spreading the material of the tent out. "We're a weird couple of telepaths, I think."

K'os blinked slowly. Enjoying the sensation and holding onto the feelings and emotions it elicited. When it was gone, just a lingering audio memory of the wind chimes out side the bungalow on their Bali island lingered like a hint of perfume before it too faded from his mind. "It's your nature though." He pressed on. "Humans view it as an invasion of privacy because their biology is not adapted for telepathy. It seems almost arrogant for them to impose the same social views of it on you, no? I've been to Betazed once. It was a beautiful experience. There was very little duplicity in their interactions. Everyone...just knew each others intentions." The passion in his voice was evident. Regardless of his calm features and the smile on his face, he knew Ells would sense the anger bubbling just below the surface. It frustrated him that Ells would be subjected to xenophobia over something that was apart of his biology.

Ellsworth gave him an easy smile and took a seat on an overturned log that seemed placed there for that purpose. "I don't read everyone's thoughts because I'm not very good at it, not necessarily because I'm conforming to Terran social standards. When we're young, usually during our teen years, we're supposed to be trained and guided and instructed in how to harness our telepathic powers."

The young Betazoid took a deep breath and pressed on, sharing the most hated part of his early life.

"But I was in an orphanage. And then another orphanage. And then a home for 'troubled' youth. Between all of that bouncing around, they tried to settle me with different foster families. But I was angry and resentful about...everything. I didn't want surrogate parents; I wanted my real parents. The invasion of Betazed shattered everything. Everything. How many Betazoid tactical officers do you see? Security personnel? Marines? We don't fight. We listen. We soothe. We negotiate."

K'os continued working on the tent, but his focus was entirely on Ellsworth. He truly wanted to understand his lover more.

Sensing he was on the verge of a tirade about the war, he redirected himself. "So I didn't get training. Sometimes someone with some patience would try. One of my foster dads, Baax... He tried so hard." Ellsworth shook his head, recalling the memory. "He would never speak to me, it was always in my mind. But I'd never...think...back. I'd always speak, like the messed up kid that I was. Always pushing back, always refusing to cooperate or conform. Just being difficult."

Ellsworth paused for a moment to watch K'os begin assembling the tent before continuing.

"So now, it's like... White noise. Background stuff. I know it's there, but it's always there. So it's easy to ignore. When I'm alone - truly alone - with someone then I can read their thoughts no problem. It's the only thing passing through my head if, say, you and I were on some rogue asteroid. But right now... It seems like we're alone, in the forest, but..." He closed his eyes. At first, he looked calm but after long moments his brow knitted together, and he frowned. "There are people in rooms all around us. The man next door... I think he brought his wife here because he did something wrong; she's mad at him. He wants to make her happy again..." He finally opened his eyes and shrugged. "There are thousands of people around. I'm just... I don't know. Too dumb to be a real telepath."

K'os suddenly exploded away from the tent. It sagged on one side as he abandoned it. With a speed that seemed almost too fast for a human he rushed towards Ellsworth. He dropped to his knees, sliding along in the dirt so hard he kicked up dust behind him. He scooped his hands up into his own and pressed them against his chest. His smile replaced by an intensity he didn't usually show. "You're not dumb Ala--" He caught himself as if he had hit a wall. Clamping down on his anger like an iron vice on his mind, replacing his expression with wet tears and embarrassment for his outburst. "It is who you are." He tried to finish lamely.

Ellsworth started at first, surprised by the sudden onset of emotion, but he adjusted quickly by the time K'os was sliding across the dirt toward him. Just like all his other experiences with K'os' somewhat unpredictable and intense emotional torrents, the tiny little Betazoid felt like he was in the telepathic eye of the storm. All the anger and love and embarrassment swirled around and around him; if he wanted, he knew he could reach out and touch it. On some level it scared him, but he understood a little bit of what it was like to feel so much. More importantly, he knew what it felt like to be a person out of place because of who you were.

He looked down at K'os and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. Their eyes were so close that Ellsworth had to put actual effort into making his iris focus to bring into clarity the blue-gray color of his eyes. He smiled - for him - and reached up a hand to wipe at an errant tear.

"We are both who we are, K'os."

[To Be Continued in Final Part 3]

[OFF]

PO3 K'os Beaumont
Matter/Energy Specialist
USS Galileo

&

PO3 Ellsworth Hudson
Quartermaster
USS Galileo

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