Sanguine, Despite Loneliness [part 3] 18+

Posted on 01 Mar 2014 @ 3:50pm by Ensign K'os Beaumont & Petty Officer 3rd Class Ellsworth Hudson
Edited on on 01 Mar 2014 @ 9:12pm

4,149 words; about a 21 minute read

Mission: Episode 05 - Solstice
Location: Sanguine Nights Hotel & Casino
Timeline: MD 35 - 1100

[Previously]

He looked down at K'os and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. Their eyes were so close that Ellsworth had to put actual effort into making his iris focus to bring into clarity the blue-gray color of his eyes. He smiled - for him - and reached up a hand to wipe at an errant tear.

"We are both who we are, K'os."

[Now The Conclusion - Mature Content but lots of character development]

The gesture threatened to send K'os over the edge. No one in his life had ever truly understood him like this man did. He slid his hands behind Ells and brought him closer to his body. His knees stung from the dirt and rocks on the ground but the pain was nothing compared to the need growing within. Thoughts of studying were so far from his mind.

Ellsworth gave him a sly smile as he was pulled closer to K'os. His lips closed the very short distance and pressed softly against the others'. The distance and the touching were making it hard to ignore K'os' emotions, and Ellsworth's breathing grew a little more shallow as a result.

"I thought we were going to study?" he asked, never letting the locked gaze break.

"We are." He said, taking his lips away for only a moment before pressing them again a little more urgently. He broke the kiss again to add, "I'm studying Betazoid physiology." He moved his left arm up till it gripped the back of Ellsworth's shoulder and kept his right arm snuggly behind the small of the smaller man's back before kissing him again, wetly.

Ellsworth resisted the embrace only in the slightest sense, just so he wasn't completely limp in K'os' arms, just to let him know he shared the same urgency. The longer their lips pressed together the more he could feel the bond between them growing, and he looked forward to it now more than ever. His lonely sojourn through the streets of San Francisco had led him to the revelation that if he didn't need to use sex as a means of control or self-harm any longer, though there were certainly matters of his unique physiology to address. Instead, if he'd just let it happen, he could make the first steps in a process of healing in the unlikely arms of his somewhat unstable half-Vulcan companion. From that point, the need to experience their bond at its most intimate level had been building uncontrollably.

"I hope you study well enough," he said, breaking his sentence with a long, lingering kiss, "to make an A on the exam."

"I only get A pluses, Ellsworth Hudson." He used the name the Betazoid had created for himself, almost reluctantly. He banished all thoughts from his mind except those that burned warm with ecstasy and pleasure. A luxury afforded to him by his hybrid physiology. They had shared an intimate bond before; twice in fact. Something about this interaction seemed deeper, more urgent. He was caught up in the emotions of it. The kiss that followed was so long he thought he was going to loose his breath. He let both hands travel down his back, over his bum and tightened around his thighs. He pulled them forward strongly, making Ellsworth wrap his legs around his hips.

K'os broke the kiss long enough to say, "I'm loosing control. Can you feel it?" Before continuing the kiss.

Ellsworth let out a little surprised gasp as K'os pulled him forward, though he very willingly wrapped his legs around him. He was definitely the smaller of the pair, though even if he wasn't K'os could still easily support him in the embrace with the sheer power of his enhanced musculature. He grinned when K'os broke the kiss and took the opportunity to squeeze his legs tighter, in the process drawing himself tighter against erogenous portions of the other's body.

What was usually background noise came to life when they touched; usually he could feel it flow all around him, sensing the intensity of K'os' emotions but never becoming overwhelmed by them. This time they pressed in closer with an urgency that their past intimate experiences didn't even come close to matching. Previously, he'd managed to keep the rushing torrent at bay but this time he didn't even make an effort. It terrified him to think about what might happen - would he lose himself, or lose his mind? Neither really seemed to matter; for once in his life he was willing to surrender control rather than seek it.

"Yes," Ellsworth said, breathlessly. He broke the kiss and tilted his head upward and to the left in order to expose his neck. The words sounded less like an acknowledgement of the impending loss of control and more like encouragement, urging him on.

K'os moved his lips to kiss and nibble on the young man's neck, instinctively and telepathically knowing exactly what he wanted and needed. The bond felt different this time. Perhaps it was fueled by the eroticism of the scenery or the time spent apart, but something told K'os it was more important than that. He felt his mind give in, releasing the torrents of emotion. He had never done this before and the fear of loosing himself within Ellsworth's mind blasted forward. An explosion of sound, colour, memory and emotion erupted in their melded psyche's. He broke away from Ellsworth's neck to look into the depths of those black irises.

Should I stop? He thought. Not knowing if he was communicating properly. Could the other man sense his thoughts?

Ellsworth dimly felt himself being driven by the need for copulation, but far more important was how much he needed to lose himself in the other man, to see what would happen when he gave up and reached out to experience who K'os really was, to embrace the erotic experience that he felt sure it promised to be. It probably wasn't a well-informed decision, but he didn't care.

Don't stop, please. Let me feel it, all of it, Ellsworth said in their mind, reflexively falling back on non-verbal communication when he felt the barriers between them start to collapse. His eyes were begging him as his fingers moved to unbutton the flannel shirt halfway down, enough to expose K'os' chest to his hands. He ran them hard over his pectoral muscles, letting his nails drag against the skin as he sought to keep their skin-to-skin contact and bond intact. He stared directly into K'os' eyes and with wanton disregard let go of what little telepathic control he had, not even bothering to brace himself for what would quickly rush over him.

K'os slipped his hands under Ellsworth's shirt and ran his hands up his back, making the connection deeper. He felt the fingers on his chest as if they were his own and he let out a soft moan. His hands running up the man's back felt like they were running up his own as well. The mixing of sensations heightened his synesthesia and the colours blue and red exploded in his mind. He could hear the leaves in the trees above them rustling in the artificial breeze which to him was very music like; they produced a feeling of rhythm. The melody of the moment. Different memories flashed through his mind, or perhaps they were Ellsworth's. Each one had an associated emotion attached to it. K'os detached himself from the negative ones and allowed himself to be overwhelmed by the heightening emotions that spurred on his passion and desire.

He felt safe with the Betazoid and he hoped the intensity of his feelings didn't overwhelm Ellsworth. It had taken him many years to adjust and adapt, but knew he could temper it if it became too much. He pressed his hands harder down the length of the smaller man's trapezius muscles, sensing a tightness being released. Feeling the sensation down his own back, his body released endorphin's. He was conscious and aware of all the processes of his own body and when he sensed the release he let the feeling grow to an intensely erotic feeling.

Ellsworth felt a moment where he crossed some event horizon, on the other side of which it became difficult to differentiate himself from K'os. The new world, the new sensation, was like being in the middle of bonfire where K'os' emotions burned with limitless fuel. It was all around him in a deafening roar, consuming but never harming. As the half-Vulcan picked through their emotions, Ellsworth thought he could feel himself becoming lighter. Anger, abandonment, self-loathing, depression, helplessness...all burned in the fire, evaporating and disappearing. The fire ran over his back in the same pattern as K'os' hands, building his desire; for every jump in his own desire there was a corresponding heightening in K'os. One-in-the-same, their emotions fed off of one another guided only by the selective hand of K'os' discipline.

Eventually, Ellsworth felt lighter. And then he emerged from the fire riding the invisible eddies it sent skyward. He felt like a flake of ash that had floated free, hovering over the bonfire and being carried to ever greater heights. The sense of freedom was exhilarating, and he felt in some way like he must have "passed" the test, endured the flames, embraced all of K'os and emerged on the other side unscathed.

"I need you," he said, though at this point it was hard to determine whose ears he was hearing the words through. Ellsworth was certain, though, that he had said them and that no truer words had ever passed his lips.

K'os slowly lowered himself backwards towards the ground, floating on the heady feelings of Ellsworth's need. The small amount of skin contact their hands and lips provided wasn't enough. He wanted -- no needed, more contact. As his back touched the ground, Ells now straddled him. He lifted the mans shirt up to press his body against the skin. The only thing that existed in this moment was K'os and Ellsworth and their overwhelming need for physical contact.

Ellsworth might have ordinarily grinned down at him playfully, but he wasn't feeling very playful. Their time together in Bali and Chicago had been impish and light-hearted, but this time he was feeling very serious. There was an intensity in his eyes as he finished unbuttoning K'os' shirt and leaned forward to bring their bodies into closer contact. He watched his eyes as he rotated his hips backward, pressing himself down along K'os' tightened pants.

He smiled and for a brief moment contented himself with placing his cheek against K'os' chest, hearing his heartbeat lower down his torso. There was some feeling of satisfaction hearing the beat increase as his hands trailed down the sides of K'os' exposed torso, moving for the waistline of his pants. He remembered fondly the feeling of their legs entangled with one another in an Indonesian beach villa and longed to repeat the experience in their now much less inhibited state.

K'os ran a hand through Ells' hair, massaging his scalp with his fingers. He lifted his butt off the ground briefly against the motion of their hips. He heard his own heartbeat through Ellsworth's ears and it provided a percussive beat to the music he conjured in his mind. When he felt a hand traveling lower towards the source of heat and uncomfortable straining, a rush of air escaped his mouth as the sensation jolted him. His chest rose off the ground a little and his head fell back.

K'os was not as experienced in the ways of sex as Ellsworth was. His experiences with both men and women were to relieve stress, pass the time or simply because K'os appreciated beauty in all forms and sometimes needed to express his appreciation through intimacy. This was different. It wasn't even 'making love' as others sometimes put it. This was a need to feel connected on a level he struggled to understand. With the heightened pleasure that his mind created within their bond, he straddled the thin divide between intense rapture and true ecstasy. Like an explosion that Ellsworth was anticipating some how, he had the mans shirt off and held him strongly with one arm as he rolled the Betazoid onto his back, switching positions. A growl like sound grew deep in K'os' chest, a very primal Vulcan-like intensity knitted his forehead.

Finding himself suddenly underneath K'os, Ellsworth's breathing became ragged. His eyes were open wide and unblinking, as much in submission as anticipation. Hearing the rumbling growl made his own heart beat faster as he leaned up to kiss K'os; from all the hunger and passion that it conveyed, it was sloppy and lacked all his usual well-practiced finesse. They both seemed in a headlong rush to experience not just the melding of minds but the melding of bodies, as well.

The young Betazoid's nimble fingers worked their way back down K'os' torso and found the clasp at the front of his pants; once unlatched, he slipped his fingers under the waistband and moved his hands around K'os' hips, pushing down with every inch of lateral movement. Once he'd pushed the pants off as far as his reach would allow, he rested his hands on the firm muscles of the half-Vulcan's backside. He pulled down and raised his hips up, glancing up at him and giving a coquettish look during the brief moment of contact.

K'os gave him his usual dimple cheeked grin in response; slightly coy about the aggression he had just demonstrated. He reached down and struggled to shuck off his pants further. Not wanting to stop kissing his lover the struggle became awkward and clumsy as he fumbled. The very urgency he felt now made his whole body tremble. He broke the kiss as he actually found himself giggling at the situation. He now had his legs all tangled with his tight jeans and underwear. He attempted to undo Ells pants as well but his hands shook too much and his bare knees dug into the hard dirt.

Ellsworth's seductive look went out the window as he grinned at K'os, fumbling like an overeager teenager. His body wasn't trembling much less, but he at least had plenty of practice when it came to getting himself and someone else undressed. He brought his foot up between K'os' legs, raising it much further than it needed to be just to teasingly run it along his length, then pushed at the middle of the bunched garments while popping the half-Vulcan's shoes off with his other foot.

He leaned up and slid his arms around K'os' neck, using his legs to do the same around his hips. He drew himself as close as he could, though he wasn't necessarily strong enough to lift himself completely off the ground. Just the feeling of moving his hands across the smooth skin, feeling the hard muscles beneath, was enough to make him moan softly.

Carry me over there, Ellsworth thought, nestling up against K'os' neck and biting at his skin. If they didn't move to one of the bedrolls, he was pretty sure a rock was going to puncture a lung somewhere during the process.

The thought and the action almost seemed simultaneous as he scooped his arms under him and lifted him easily off the ground. You are so wonderful, he responded easily.

At least strength and stamina were where K'os excelled. He stood, and carried Ellsworth closer to where the supplies were stacked. The ground was smoother here and he placed the man down within arm's reach of a bed roll. He reached for it, and unrolled it before they both shifted their bodies to be on top of the much more comfortable surface. He finally managed to have Ellsworth's pants undone then hooked his fingers in the waistband and then yanked them off in one motion. He ran his hands down the inside of his thighs, massaging them like he had his back.

The happiness K'os felt in that moment made his eyes wet. His smile was wide, and warm as he took in the beauty of the naked man below him. He allowed the pleasure the Betazoid's body produced in him to build again before bending down over him. He pushed Ells legs down off his hips, so K'os could straddle him again. He rocked his pelvis back and forth while studying the features of Ells face. I am yours Ellsworth, he thought. He placed strong hands on the bedroll beside his face and kissed him again with no less urgency.

Alax, he corrected. We belong together...

Ellsworth pushed his tongue past the other man's lips and moved his hips rhythmically in time with the beat he set. He could feel the strength in each of the legs straddling his sides and the taut muscles in K'os' shoulders as he reached up to grab them; the thought of the power and passion that his half-Vulcan lover was finally unleashing in its fullest form served to fan the flames of his own desire. The firmness of his grip increased and his nails dug slightly into K'os shoulders as his nerves tingled more and more from the rhythmic friction being generated between their legs.

Be one with me...imzadi....

The word carried so much weight and though he felt like an outsider in his own culture the word had never seemed more appropriate than that moment. K'os was his imzadi - his first. Not just the first to whom he'd given himself completely and willingly, but the first with whom he'd formed a spiritual bond that felt like it could last a lifetime.

Alax.... Yes, that felt much more natural to him. He knew what the word imzadimeant. At least in the human sense. With the Betazoid bond and the Vulcan meld, the meaning of the word was not lost on him. The honour behind the sentiment made him bring his hand up to caress the side of Ells face. With his other hand he reached behind him to pleasure Ellsworth more before guiding him inside. His thighs tightened around his waist, contracting in almost spasm like waves. His body shook with excitement and his breathing came in urgent small gasps of air in time with the rhythm of Ells hips.

Alax! He cried out in his mind.

As was common when he let go control of his emotions he lost connection with time and his surroundings. Hours may have been days in his mind. He knew they took multiple turns taking pleasure in different ways and positions. They were not restricted in their inhibitions. Pleasure was found in many forms, and K'os lost track of it all; entirely wrapped up in the experience.

For Ellsworth the connection was a revelation. There was no absence of carnal pleasure - things may have started off in a rush of fumbling excitement but they quickly learned to be in tune with one another's bodies, K'os leveraging his strength and stamina where a light touch wouldn't suffice and Ellsworth falling back on flexibility and an innate eagerness to please. But he found more importance and meaning in allowing himself to feel real intimacy for the first time in his life. Even in Bali, where K'os' physicality was on full display, neither of them had fully surrendered themselves to one another. It was in the breaking of the barriers between their minds, hearts and spirits that he came to know and feel love.

At one point something tugged at his consciousness. Perhaps it was Ellsworth bringing his focus back to the moment. The program had advanced. Stars from a cloudless night were seen over head, and the only light came from the computer generated fire burning in the pit. Ellsworth was on his stomach by this time, but K'os was reluctant to pull out of him. K'os seemed as though he could go on till morning, but he blinked and lifted his body off slightly. His thrusting was slow and loving as he assessed the condition of his imzadi below him.

Ellsworth had his eyes closed, though he thought he could see the sky and the fire through K'os' mind. He felt K'os raising up less as a physical sensation and more as a change in their touch-bond, though it seemed to maintain an inexplicable strength when one was inside the other. He felt the change in pace and raised up slightly, pushing back with the rhythm to achieve a better sense of completeness. He'd thought it was impossible, but even the inexhaustible Ellsworth Hudson was growing close to the point of wanting to just lay in one another's arms in front of the fire. But for now he sought the deep-rooted satisfaction he felt from pleasing K'os and carried on, amazed by the perfection of rhythm they could achieve through what they shared, until the young half-Vulcan was finally spent.

Afterward, Ellsworth lay there for a long moment, concentrating on K'os' breathing as it evened out. He was just as reluctant to have him pull out and bring that part of their night to an end; however, he'd been blessed only with a matching libido but not quite the stamina of the Vulcan hybrid.

The young Betazoid stretched out his arms and legs as far as they would go, already feeling the familiar ache of physical exhaustion settling into them. As he felt K'os moving behind him to stand up, he rolled over and clasped his arm to pull at him.

"Will you lay with me by the fire?" he asked, speaking aloud for the first time in hours. And never leave, he wanted to add, though he was sure K'os felt the sensation anyway. It was the sort of attachment that he knew the other man eschewed, but he wasn't quite so disciplined. Nor did he feel he ever would be, though he was resigned to suffer and suffer happily when he wasn't in K'os' presence just for the sake of those times when they were together.

He smiled in response and laid down beside him. He put an arm behind Ellsworth's body and pulled him towards him in a hug. He stared at the stars above them, tranquility reflected on his face.

Something had happened during this particular bond. It seemed to change something within his neurology and he could feel it, but couldn't place it. Like coming home to find that something has been moved, but it's so subtle that you have a hard time figuring out what. He did know this bond with the man was not as ephemeral as the others had been and that was a very special thing to K'os. He reached his mind out to Ellsworth like a hand, caressing his psyche.

I will lay here as long as you like. Time has no hold over us when we're together.

Ellsworth gave a wistful smile, but pushed aside his feelings about their inevitable separation in a very K'os-like fashion; no sense in dwelling on negative things right now. He rested his arms atop K'os', nestled back against him, and enjoyed the warm afterglow that came from the evening's activities and the feeling of completeness their bond assumed when their bodies were pressed together. They should probably swim in the lake to wash themselves off, but maybe in an hour...or a day...or a year....

He felt so much more like a whole person laying there with K'os, enjoying the heat radiating off the photonic fire and the man behind him. The war, his parents, Risa, every feeling and sense of self-loathing and self-pity...they didn't just feel far away now, but a lifetime away. Hard, painful memories finally ground down into a fine powder that could be carried away on the wind. Something had happened when K'os finally gave up on restraint and Ellsworth accepted it fully, but what exactly was hard to determine. It was so formless a concept that they both seemed to have trouble grasping it, though they sensed it there on the edge of consciousness.

Ellsworth closed his eyes and ran his hand slowly up and down K'os' arm. I feel better. His hand stopped, and he squeezed affectionately. He didn't know how to mention his complete breakdown with Viru, or his sobbing sojourn through dark streets. Nor did he really have to, he guessed. I don't feel lost anymore.

[OFF]

PO3 K'os Beaumont
Matter/Energy Specialist
USS Galileo

&

PO3 Ellsworth Hudson
Quartermaster
USS Galileo

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