Regrets

Posted on 04 Jul 2016 @ 1:13pm by Commander Luke Wyatt

681 words; about a 3 minute read

[ON]

Luke sat down pausing for a moment before pressing the power button to his desktop monitor. He had been passing back and forth driving himself insane for at least an hour, starting and then deleting every log entry he had done. This was the first one he would have done in a long time and so much had happened since then and he didn't know where to start.

The monitor once again sprung to life evidence of his previous recording still displayed on the screen. "Computer, Delete current recording and begin recording on my command." He ordered, the beep of acknowledgment as all the words he had said previously were deleted from assistance.

The recording was more of an apology of words he wished he had said to his daughter abbey before she was killed in the Mirror Universe. During the funeral Luke couldn't but hate himself for not going to get her body, and as he watched the empty coffin be jettisoned into space he finally let himself cry. After that he had spiralled out of control with his drinking, not turning up to work and taking long restless walks around the ship.

It wasn't until the Abbey that returned from the Mirror universe the 'evil' Abbey cornered him one night and forced them to speak. Luke could have ripped out her throat, snapped her neck or anything to have avoided that conversation but deep down he knew he had to do this.

The talked for hours the lives they led the different ways people were and the different choices they had both made, and in ways this Abbey was more like him than his own daughter. She was intelligent, fierce and honourable. Her very reason for joining the Terran Empire was to revenge her fathers death not to fight a unjust war on anything non-humanoid. Eventually they exhausted them selves and parted way if not friends but at least at peace with one another.

Later he found out that Abbey had transferred after her debriefs at HQ and changed her last name, but also left a message that she would write and continue to do so until he asked her to stop. Luke knew he never would.

The computer informed him that the recording was ready and so Luke began, Luke began to spill his heart tell the computer his deepest regrets and deepest secrets because he knew it was the right thing to do.

Personal Log Lieutenant Luke Wyatt...

I don't regret the things I've done. I just regret the things I didn't do. I heard that once in a book, a film or a conversation I once had. At the time I couldn't understand the concept but I was young then and Naïve but arnt we all at some point? Even now, even after all my experiences and all the things I've done I am still prone to mistakes.

I don't regret what happened to my daughter, she lived the life she wanted and didn't let anything or anyone stop that, should I be sad that she died doing the things she loved? Or should I be mad that I couldn't save her. No father should witness their children die but it does happen frequently, so I know I'm not really alone in this so why do I feel like I am the only one right now feeling weighed down with such a Burdon.

I can only apologies to you Abbey and maybe somewhere or some when you'll hear this because there was so much I didn't say to you. Like how proud I am of you, and how proud I know your mother is to. You were my ray of light in the dark and I can't tell you how I wish I had done more to protect and to deserve you.

All I can say is that I will look after your counter part and make sure she is safe and that she will not follow the same fate.

Rest my daughter as your struggle is done in this world.

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