Log 1: Dawn at Midnight

Posted on 30 Jan 2013 @ 7:34am by Lieutenant Dawn Meridian

794 words; about a 4 minute read

At first, only a dark room is visible. A guitar case leans against the wall near the head of the bed. The bed is unmade, and looks as if someone had been on it not long before. The only sound is the soft humming of the ship's engine.

Eventually, a woman paces in from the left and sits in front of the monitor with a heavy sigh. She either doesn't notice or doesn't care that she doesn't have anything on. She watches the screen for a few moments, running a hand through her tussled dark hair.

Hello, computer. I don't know what the stardate is. You haven't met me yet, but my name's Dawn. Pleased to meet you.

She pauses for several seconds.

I have a hard time sleeping, sometimes. It's not like I'm scared of the dark, but something about it makes me feel really alone. I'm worried I'll dream when I fall asleep, and when I wake up the dream will be true.

She looks away from the monitor.

I dream that I'm the only one on the ship. That everyone else is just... gone. It's not a silly fear, though. It's actually happened.

She puts her head down on the desk, gazing at the monitor from the side. Her grey eyes shine with tears that won't come.

I don't know anyone yet, computer. Not really. There's no one I can ask to just... be there. I've tried hugging the blankets but it doesn't really work.

At night, the ship doesn't have any of the colour it does during the day. Not with most of the crew asleep. It's all darkness and solitude. I hate both of those things.

No one expects a counsellor to have such silly fears. But I do. And it's odd not having anyone to talk about it with. I mean really talk about it, not the pretend talk a lot of counsellors do. The only people you can really talk with about your problems are friends. Not your senior officers, not counsellors. Friends.

She smiles bitterly.

I'm not asking for anything, computer. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. This is just the way things are. This ship isn't warm enough yet to stop me from shivering when I'm by myself...

She raises her head and crosses her arms below her breasts. Her hands grip her arms tightly. Slowly, she shakes her head.

I need to stop thinking about this.

She takes a deep breath and lets her arms fall to her sides.

The ship's been... interesting. The First Officer seems rather by-the-book at first glance, but he seems like he means well and I don't think I'll mind him, as long as I'm careful not to do anything too silly while he's around.

The medical staff is great, especially Pola. I think we have a lot in common. I normally don't much like sickbay, but... I don't think I'll mind it too much. Counsellor Carlisle seems like she'll be easy enough to get along with, so that's good.

I've met a few other crewmembers, mostly by counselling. Some of them are... hard for me to understand. I try, I really do. I think Stone is a wonderful person, but it can be difficult to see at a glance. He's interesting and very, very frustrating. I hope I can help him.

Then there's Liyar, the most fascinating Vulcan I've ever met. Although I suppose I haven't met all that many Vulcans. I like him a lot, even though he can be a bit mean. As a human, I find it hard to connect to people who bury their emotions, which is why I usually don't get along with Vulcans... but somehow I empathise with Liyar. Maybe I'm projecting human emotions onto him... I don't know. I've decided to trust him, at least.

Cyrus is every bit the person Pola said he was. I think a lot of people take his silliness and occasional bad judgement as reflections on his character, but there's a lot more to him than that, I think. I'm glad Pola is around to make sure he doesn't do anything too dumb.

I met the Assistant Science Chief, too. Kiri - er, Ms. Cho - is... fragile. She's so sad and adorable and nice all at the same time. Something bad happened over shore leave and she hasn't been taking it well. I feel like she needs more hugs, although she's probably scared of those. I like her.

Dawn smiles brightly at the monitor.

I don't feel so bad anymore, computer. I think I'll be able to sleep now. Sleep well!

She blows a kiss.

End log.

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