Under Pressure

Posted on 11 Feb 2013 @ 5:52pm by Lieutenant Aria Rice & Commander Scarlet Blake

1,914 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 3 - Counselling Office
Timeline: MD 02 - 11:15

ON:

Aria frowned as she made her way to the counsellor's office. She...wanted to see Scarlet. To straighten her head out. But that was actual counselling, not a friendly chat. So she had booked time in to see her on duty. Made sense somehow. She rang the chime before walking in, meeting Scarlet's eyes before smiling weakly. "Hi...I need mental help. With my mental head..." she sighed and sat down, stretching her legs out.

Scarlet looked over to her with a warm smile, setting aside her padd to go and get them a couple of drinks instead. "Well, I always knew it would come to this," she teased with a mock serious sigh, shaking her head. "Mentalists anonymous, that's what you need."

"Better than Murderers United, which is what I felt like yesterday night..." she said and looked at her, with a weak smile. "Scarlet...my new Chief is an arse."

Scarlet blinked, moving to sit with her, offering the drink. She frowned, thinking on it. Aria's Chief. Security. Her frown deepened at that and her jaw tightened. This wasn't the first time she'd heard about the Security Chief. He was the person who had treated Jeroen badly. "Wow, that was quick," she said softly with disbelief, rubbing her forehead with a thumb. "What happened?"

"In short? 'Blah blah, you all suck, blah blah, I am ashamed of you, blah blah, if you don't like it get a transfer, because I am emotionless and don't care and worth a hundred of you useless children'!" Aria frowned as she rubbed her forehead hard, leaning forward. "I can't deal with it."

Scarlet tensed at hearing a chief speak to his people that way, letting out a long, soft breath as she watched her. She shook her head, looking to the viewport. She'd dealt with hard officers in her time, in the marines, but there was a difference between being hard to get good results, and just being abrasive, as the latter did damage. "You know it's not true though, right? Right, Aria?"

Aria smiled weakly, rubbing her arm as she let out a breath. "I...when he said it, I exploded. I told him to screw himself, so...I might have thought less of myself when I said it. When I swear, that's me getting defensive..."

"You got angry!" Scarlet shook her head with a soft laugh of disbelief. "I think most people would if they'd just scraped out of a long, hard mission, barely alive and defending their ship to the last tight breath, and then were told you suck." She shook her head, looking down with a frown. "You could have expressed and controlled it in a more - constructive way though, but the actual feeling you experienced is understandable."

Aria giggled as she watched her, kicking the desk lightly. "Hey! You should tell me off...swearing is just...not on against officers..."

"Well, you know, I served my time in the marines, there was a lot of swearing there," Scarlet joked lightly, trying to put her at ease. "And hey, I said you could have expressed and controlled yourself better, so that's a half telling off. The reaction was impulsive and could have been curbed, but I can't blame the base emotion, I'd have been angry too." She sighed, shaking her head as she rubbed her face with a hand. She wasn't sure if she should tell her about Jeroen's run in with him, or not.

Aria nodded before looking down, frowning. "I don't think it'll go well if it continues like this. I mean it. He'll end up either killing us, or dead because we stopped looking out for him. So...a part of me is scared of this. Of this version of me...the one that can potentially not care if he died."

Scarlet watched her with concern before reaching out, squeezing her hand. "Aria," she squeezed again, to make her look to her. "You are too intelligent and warm a woman to let it go that far."

Aria met her eyes, taking a breath. "I can't promise that. Right now, my head and heart's a mess..."

"Tell me?" Scarlet asked softly, tilting her head as she watched her friend with a reassuring smile. "And maybe we can untangle it together?"

Aria nodded and moved to her, taking her hands to hold tightly as she leant closer. "Okay...I got so angry. But...also at myself. For getting angry. And we're not useless. And I thought there might be a glimpse of humanity in him when I saw him next, but he dismissed it...and then I thought maybe he is just Vulcan in his ways. Apparently he saw that as an insult too. No matter what I say, it has the same effect on him. I could be blowing smoke up his arse or cursing his name and all he would do is frown...and it makes me feel..." she frowned, looking down. "Small."

Scarlet nodded with understanding. "As if he sees you as beneath him," she followed on the thought, searching her eyes, seeing it. "So, the thing to ask yourself now is this; if no matter what you do the reaction is the same, why worry about it? If whatever you do, good or bad, won't change him anyway, why worry or even waste time and effort thinking on it. It won't do anything. It will be wasted energy if it won't change anything."

Aria watched Scarlet for a long moment before smiling weakly. "I keep wanting to please people," she whispered softly. "I think it is because I want to be liked...I take too much into account what people think of me."

Scarlet nodded. It was a common and understandable thing, to want to please. "But, if you know that trying isn't actually going to change how he is with you, that it won't please him anyway, then why waste your precious time and energy on it? It's time for your head to take charge, and to focus that energy into things you ~can~ make a difference with," she smiled fondly to her. "I know it's not easy though, to start, because instinct and emotion kick in anyway. So to start with, when you realise you're going down that fool's errand of trying to change something you can't, you take a breath, and you start the mantra in your head. 'I can't change it, there's nothing I can do about it now, stop thinking about it and focus on something I ~can~ change instead'. You'll have to do it a lot to start with, but over time, it will become your new instinct. 'This isn't working, not worth my bother, I'm going to do this other thing instead because that actually ~will~ be productive'."

Aria watched her with awe, taking a deeper breath. "Oh God, you need to so totally be my guru!" she said, with a wide smile. "So...I just need to focus and think about what I can do instead of what I can't do?"

Scarlet nodded with a smile, spreading her hands out. "Yes. Easier said than done, I know, but you keep reminding yourself, keep nudging your head back in the right direction, and it will get easier. Reprogramme your mind so you don't ruminate on the things you can't change and put that energy into something that ~can~ be useful instead," she winked.

She nodded, her eyes gentle as she just searched her face. "Can you record that so I can just...listen again and again and again?"

"That's cheating, you have to do it yourself," Scarlet laughed warmly, shaking her head. "You're an intelligent girl, Aria. More than you let on to others, but I understand that too. You don't want to give too much away to strangers, now do you."

Aria smiled weakly as she watched her for a long moment. "You know me too well," she said before taking her hand to squeeze. "Thank you. I needed to hear that."

Scarlet gave her hand a reassuring squeeze in return, smiling softly to her. "Just keep an eye on things. And if you have real concerns, you should tell someone who can do something about it."

She nodded as she smiled gently. "I will...I promise," she said and let out a breath. "I did tell the Captain....but as a friend, not as a CO."

"Good," Scarlet said seriously, looking down as she licked her lips, looking as close to uncomfortable as the calm and in control woman came when on duty. "A friend of mine was also complaining about his treatment by the Chief of Security. I told him to tell the First Officer or Captain. I'm not sure if he will."

Aria frowned as she watched her. "To be honest...I don't know if it will even help at this point. A lot of people don't like him and have complained. I don't know what choices are left for the Captain."

"Well I can warn you now, Aria, if any harm comes to Jeroen and it can be traced back to that man who is sitting as the Chief of Security, you will have to stop me from taking my rifle out of retirement," Scarlet said quietly, but there was a gleam in her blues eyes. A deadly serious one. No one threatened her family or hurt them, and Jeroen had become family many years ago, if not by blood, then by bloodshed.

Aria watched her with surprise before moving closer, to touch her cheek. "Hey...hey, darling...did he...did he threaten your friend's life?" she asked, with shock.

Scarlet gave a wry smile, holding her eyes. "Let's just say he made a pointed comment to him about whether the Captain could keep him safe or not when he was wandering the ship by himself and had no friends around. The Chief's balls must have then reclined back into his body, as he then told Jeroen he didn't make threats. So you know, one of those threats people make while denying it's a threat," she shook his head, letting out a long breath. "Regardless of his past, Jeroen is part of the crew, part of the fleet. You understand that, right?" she searched Aria's eyes.

Aria let out a breath as she watched her before smiling weakly. "I understand...besides, hardly Saint Aria myself," she said and looked down. "Look. I'll...keep an ear out. Okay? If I hear him say something about him, I'll...let you know?"

Scarlet nodded, giving a grateful smile. "Thanks. Jeroen's tough, it doesn't bother him. I think it bothers me more."

Aria nodded as she watched her with a weak smile. "I know what you mean, girl...don't worry, I'll make sure he's safe too."

Scarlet chuckled, resting her head in her hand as she watched her with warmth. "Look what I've done. I'm supposed to the one telling you not to worry. Have I helped you at all?" she asked softly.

Aria nodded and moved to hug her, not caring if they were supposed to be counsellor/crewmember right now. "Hell yes, loads!"

Scarlet grinned at that, giving her a squeeze of a hug. "You're a pocket rocket fire cracker of a girl, Aria. Don't let a little bit of drizzle spoil the display, hm?"

OFF:

Lieutenant JG Aria Rice
Security Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Scarlet Blake
Counsellor
USS Galileo

RSS Feed