Masks Like Mine (Part 1)

Posted on 01 Feb 2013 @ 8:48pm by Lieutenant Lilou Zaren & Lieutenant Kiri Cho

2,718 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 2, Lilou's Quarters
Timeline: MD01: 1700 hrs

[ON]

Lilou left her office with a weight on her shoulders, the scribbled upon map of the Nova rolled under her arm. The tension didn't leave her shoulders until she reached her quarters. Despite being too large, and too much for just her by any standard, she could close and lock the door and know that - at least in here - she was safe. It would have broken too many protocols to have video or audio feeds in here unless specifically activated through a console. Another reason why her private quarters were a better option for her dinner with Kiri.

Carefully, she erased the notes she'd scrawled into the lines of the schematics, then wrote other notes over them verifying distances, sizes, asking questions about materials used. It was all she could think of to do. Stone had made his position very clear. The dog was more important than her. And, despite what he thought of himself, he jumped to conclusions quite readily. The fact that he thought he was following a logical train of thought while doing so... that worried her. And if he was going to place the safety of his dog and his officers ahead of her, then she had to do the same for her people. Knowing what he was up to was the only way she had to protect them.

And Kiri. She had to protect Kiri.

Lilou set the schematics aside and went to her replicator. "Grakizh salad for two. Apples, red, sliced. Syto beans, steamed, with lemon juice and salt." It was nearly 1700 and that was the time she and the science officer had agreed to. She hadn't heard anything about needing to change the time, so...

The orders locked in to the replicator console, Lilou set to work clearing the dining table of PADDs and straight rulers and pencils and... She looked around the room a little crest-fallen. There was no way she'd have this cleaned. She just needed to get things out of the way at this point. The items from the table found themselves dumped onto her bed. She set a couple places on one end of the table, and then went to the LCARS and looked up chinese foods. The list was overwhelmingly long and almost all of it seemed to involve pork. Lilou wrinkled her nose. There. "Rice porridge," she requested from the replicator, "and soy sauce chow mein." Lilou had never had either, but at least they didn't seem to involve any meat.

She poured water from a pitcher into glasses, then lumped down into the chair at her desk and poked at the console, scanning the incoming information until her door chimed.

Since ending her shift only slightly after sixteen hundred for once Kiri had been fussing about what to do about dinner. With Maenad she had worn a dress the day before, that had suited the situation. However she hadn't done anything with Peers before, so what was right? Showered she'd tried her hair a few different ways before finally giving up and leaving it loose around her shoulders. Then after a lot of consideration she had ended up putting on a fresh uniform and it was already time to go. She meant to arrive exactly on time so once she reached deck two she had to walk around the corridor a few times before finally enough time had passed. With a deep breath she pressed the chime.

Lilou tapped the console on the desk to open and door, and turned up and out her chair as Kiri came inside. "Hello," she said with an awkward wave. "Ah... welcome. To... where they've put me. Hungry?"

Standing in the door way Kiri realised something that made her very self aware. She'd never been a guest before, not really. She was almost always the host or her parents were. Every natural urge for her was to do things for the people around her, so being asked a question like that. It was alien. Looking around a little nervously she told herself it was safe. This was Peers's quarters, they were safe. That didn't help her was much as she would have liked though. There was also the odds and ends around that tempted her to clean rather than sit. Politeness won out though, "Thank you for having me, you have very nice quarters," Oh, "And yes." Holding steady just inside the door way Kiri felt it swoosh shut behind her.

"Good," Lilou said, rocking back slightly on her heels. Then "Good... Good..." she muttered mostly to herself as she tried to figure out what exactly she was supposed to do now. Food. "I didn't know anything about Chinese cuisine, so I looked up some stuff in the LCARS. Hopefully that's... okay? So... here, you can sit, if you want." She noticed a PADD she'd left behind in a chair and nipped it up and away, putting it on the desk. "This," she pointed to a bowl of yellowed leaves, "is grakizh salad. A little different from a replicator, but you'll get the gist. And these," she pointed to a bowl of oblong, cream colored ovals, "are syto beans. And then apples. And this is... I don't remember the Chinese name... some kind of rice porridge. And something called 'chow mein'. It looks like noodles." She spread her hands, "So... enjoy. Oh, did you want meat? I don't... I mean, I've never eaten it, so I didn't know how to select it-"

"That's okay, I don't eat that much meat," Kiri smiled at how much consideration Lilou had put into her enjoyment. Moving towards the table she offered, "The rice is called Congee, chow mein means fried noodles," Trying to be helpful. Looking over the items she didn't know she asked, "Is this Trill food?"

Lilou nodded. "As close as the replicator gets. I was going to check in the arboretum and see if they were growing any, but my time slipped away from me today."

"I was thinking of growing some things in my quarters," Kiri looked at the beans and leaves but made sure not to look too closely. She didn't want to seem rude, "Do you think I could grow Trill plants?"

"I imagine you could. I can't keep a Cyrillian cactus alive for a week, but that's me. Go ahead," she waved. "Guests first. Isn't that the standard?"

"Yes?" Kiri took her seat and watched Peers move. There didn't seem to be a whole lot of decoration in the room, hers wasn't that much better though, "Have you had these quarters long?"

"Just since the promotion," Lilou shifted her shoulders awkwardly, taking a seat, and picking up her glass to drink while Kiri served herself. "It's... I haven't really spent much time in here. What with all the repairs and everything. I just... kind of moved everything from one place to another." She ducked her head, "It's private, in any case."

So the same as her then, though this room seemed to be slightly bigger. Nodding her head Kiri answered, "Private is good, it feels that the room is big enough for an entire family though." This was the first time she had really vocalised her feelings about her new room, "It's a little lonely."

"It's more space than I'm used to, yes." Lilou took a sampling of the Chinese foods after Kiri had made her plate and poked at the 'congee' with her fork. "My last ship, I shared a bunk the size of the washroom with two petty officers. But I guess there's not such a need for a big crew on a vessel like this. They can afford the space for quarters." She licked her fork tentatively, tasting the congee. It was thick, a little gummy, and didn't particularly taste like anything. Not bad, just... bland. "Anyway, everywhere's lonely, isn't it?"

"No, not really," Kiri wasn't expecting that question as she stuck a fork into the first leaf on her plate, "I mean, it's not as bad when you are with other people. I'm not really lonely right now," Managing a smile Kiri lifted the leaf and nibbled an edge. It tasted like a more coppery rocket, quite strong but not bad.

Lilou ducked her head and took another bite of the gummy substance. She felt lonely most of the time, even when she was with other people. Even now, it was like a part of her was empty and waiting for... something. Even with Lamar, although pheromones and hormones helped to keep the feeling at bay for a little while at least when she was with him. The fried noodles were dense with flavor, almost the exact opposite of the congee, and salty. "Did they move you - when you were made assistant chief?"

"Yes," Kiri nodded, "My quarters are almost as big as my parents house, I never had a double bed before." Taking a larger bite of the leaf Kiri started to think she was being too familiar. At the back of her head she was thinking about what Lilou has said, was she lonely all the time? That was worse than she was surely?

"Neither had I," Lilou smiled self-deprecatingly. "I'm not sure what to do with my self in this one." She paused. "I met your chief yesterday."

"Oh?" Peers had asked questions about Maenad when they had tea together. Kiri had tried her best to show her boss in the best light despite the display she had seen the day before. "What did you think?" She didn't want anything other than a good answer but it seemed the thing to ask.

"I don't know." Lilou mixed some of the noodles with the congee and tried them together. Better. "I fell through the air duct in the arboretum. Right next to her and Petrov. Not the best first impression."

Maybe that was the cause of the odd readings on the tricoder, or how it got damaged. Looking rather worried Kiri asked, "Were you okay?" It wasn't a small drop, the arboretum was tall enough for a small tree so taller than most of the rooms on the ship.

"It wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to me." Which was more than true. "But I think it came as a shock to them." She helped herself to a serving of the syto beans and grakizh and comforted herself with the familiar for a moment. "Between her and Stone, I'm worried all the other department heads are going to think I'm perpetually landing on the floor."

"Do you fall over a lot then?" Kiri hadn't seen her fall over once. Kiri didn't really understand Stone, he had made her live through something terrible twice over and she didn't really know why. Unless he was trying to be mean to her, he didn't act all that mean though.

"No, he-" she stopped herself. Even now that she was taking steps to protect her department, she remembered his words. If anything was said about anyone in his department. Including the dog. "Just circumstances," she finished lamely. "How do you like it - Trill food?"

She hadn't tried very much but Kiri nodded, "Yes, it is nice, I should try more." There were still those beans that she hadn't tried yet but she didn't want to rush their time together, "Do you like Chinese food?" Kiri wouldn't really consider what Lilou had picked exciting but maybe she liked basic food?

"I don't really know anything about it," she reiterated. "I just looked at the list in the LCARS and picked the first things I saw without pigs in them. It's... interesting. I like the salt," she lifted a forkful of chow mein and smiled around the bite.

"What sort of flavours do you like?" Kiri quite liked small amounts of meat with each meal. She was quite fine without it though, as long as there was enough flavour or, "Have you tried tofu?"

Lilou nodded, "Versions of it. I have to eat protein." She speared another bean and popped it in her mouth. "I like sour things. And salty things." She cocked her head to the side, "I don't usually think much about it. I just... eat the same things I had when I was a child. It seems to work out okay. Sometimes I try what's on in the mess. Some of it's all right. What about you?"

"I guess I do the same thing, I like salty and sour things too." She smiled that they had more in common, "I want to try new things though, like this. There are lots of Chinese foods that use tofu, some of them area really good." Spearing a bean now Kiri held it up, popping it into her mouth at first it tasted rubbery then like a sour peanut. They were quite addictive though, as soon as she had one Kiri wanted another.

Lilou caught sight of Kiri's expression as she tasted the syto beans and ducked her head on a pleased grin. "Maybe next time, you can pick the Chinese food then. I should have asked you before anyway."

"Okay," She smiled that there would be a next time, "I think you picked good Trill food." Kiri was much less worried about trying more given how this meal was going. There were other things that brought them to this meal as well though, "I hope I didn't worry you too much before."

"You didn't do anything," Lilou assured her, looking at her plate. "Stone blindsided me. He said you'd been kidnapped and then nothing more and-" she cut herself off. "Anyway, it's not your fault. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you." She glanced at Kiri then looked back at her plate. "Is there? Anything to worry about? Kiri?"

"Not really," Kiri looked down at her plate, "There are a few little things I'm having problems with." Kiri hadn't talked about them at any length with anyone. It seemed easier to do it with Lilou though.

Lilou nodded, dragging her gaze up again. "Like what?"

"I am having a problem with rooms with strangers in," That was the foremost problem that was limiting her mostly to the Science department.

Breath in. Breath out. Lilou took a sip of her water. "Is it a feeling problem?" she asked quietly. "Or a thinking problem?" There was a difference to Lilou, who'd been trying to find ways to deal with just that for the past two years. "What I mean is - is it a nervousness, like your hands are sweaty and you feel like you need to get away and out as soon as you can? Is it like that? Or are you thinking about the other people in the room, the ones you don't know, and getting tense over what they might be thinking or planning? Or...?"

"Both, I think," Kiri swallowed another bean and tried to look positive, "I get cold and panicky when I'm in in the room. Then I think and get scared, so it gets worse and I can't stay there." Now she was much less controlled, her works shaking a little. "I do want to get away as soon as I can though."

"Okay," Lilou said on a sigh. "I-" she stopped herself. Kiri was opening up and that was good, but that didn't mean the other Trill needed to be burdened with Lilou's problems. "Have you tried breathing? Deep into your belly?"

"I do, sometimes. But I can't really do that in front of other people," She was a department head she wasn't meant to look weak in front of the people that she commanded. It wouldn't do, regardless Kiri didn't really want to seem weak in front of anyone.

For Lilou, the breathing was a relatively new thing, but she hadn't really thought about it in terms of what other people might think of her doing it. She just did it because breathing and imagining the ripples in the pool was far better than the alternative of shaking and crying. Still... "Any people," she asked. "Or big groups? Or people who make you think of... them?"

[TBC]
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ENS Lilou Peers
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant (JG) Kiri Cho
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

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