Quantum String Cheese Theory, Part 2

Posted on 23 Jan 2013 @ 7:52pm by Lieutenant Lilou Zaren

3,053 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 7, Main Engineering, CEO's Office
Timeline: MD01 - 0900 hrs

[ON - Continued...]

Jeremy scowled, "Loyalty tests are not required beyond the oath all members of Starfleet take upon their enlistment. I am unaware of anything that states you must be loyal to a particular ship or crew - or even to like a particular crew. My question had nothing to do with your 'loyalty' to the crew, merely the conflicting statements you have made in this interview. However, your fallacious and argumentative response is...interesting." He checked and Sidi watched the woman, but remained where he had been placed. He felt pride in how well the dog was behaving. Though, Sidi still didn't seem to like her very much. Perhaps that was some instinct Jeremy should trust. "It leads me to conclude that you are either hiding some information you may know regarding Graysan or you are being deliberately difficult due to personal feelings toward me. When would be a good time to return for the information you were going to look up?"

She stared at him, confounded, unaware that she'd actually broken the skin on her palm. Her nerves were spilling out everywhere. One pain site was hardly anything to register. Fallacious and argumentative? Information to look up? Her nail continued to dig deeper as she struggled to make sense of what he was saying. "I-" she couldn't even think of words. She had absolutely no idea how to respond. So she said what she was thinking. It was all she could do. "I don't know what you want from me, Lieutenant. Honestly. I don't. You lectured me, apropos of nothing, yesterday on how much you abhor speculations on behavior without proof, and how you feel betrayed by the industry of gossip. And now, today, you're asking me to make speculations on the behavior of someone I have spoken to less, in both detail and time, than I have you. You're asking me, in effect, to do the very thing which you chastised me for having done yesterday. Which, by the way, I hadn't done to begin with. I will not and cannot make assumptions about a man I knew for less than ten minutes, at the risk of your taking the situation in a context entirely your own and using my words to charge him with a crime I have no evidence he's a part of. If that makes me false and argumentative in your estimation, then I am sorry. Truly. And if you decide that my resistance to your line of questioning casts doubt on my willingness and ability to look after the needs of this ship, then I believe you should take that to Command. The conclusions you say you have come to regarding my testimony are inaccurate and baseless," she paused for a moment, shaking her head, "but they are your conclusions based on your speculations. And I am beginning to think that trying to change your mind would be like trying to use a gravitic caliper to measure sensor ranges. I am sorry for that. I am. I don't know you. I don't know anything about you. Not really. You do scare me," she admitted, unable to stop now that honesty had loosened her tongue, "mostly because I have the impression that my words get twisted somewhere between my mouth and your ears and I don't understand why, but also because you seem quick to jump to conclusions about me. Which... is fine," she sighed, sinking back into the chair, her nail continuing its path into her skin. "Honestly, it's fine. And even if it weren't, there's nothing I can do about it anyway." She took a deep breath. "What information am I supposed to be looking up?"

Jeremy looked away from her, his jaw tight. He took a long time to return the PADD screen to the wrist holder where it belonged, using that time to draw back from the verbal punch he'd just received. The entire time he didn't look at her or speak or do more than barely breathe. He did reach down to ruffle Sidi's head and scratch his ears when he started to whine. But, still not looking at her, he spoke softly and quietly. "I'm sorry. I don't want to scare you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to understand. I have a man who is seeking access to ship's systems not two days after we're already attacked for information in our ship's systems and I'm...I'm just trying to do my job and protect the ship. I'm not trying to be scary."

He shook his head and looked at the side wall of her office. "I'm not jumping to conclusions. That requires me to abandon all information. I don't guess unless I must. I have no opinion on you one way or another, only that your statements are conflicting. I..." he shook his head head. "It doesn't matter. I scare you. Fine, okay. I should be used to that. I'll just...when you find out that information, if you could just send it to me, it would help me to know if you're supposed to give tours to officers. Perhaps he knew that when you're not sure."

Lilou felt heat prick at the backs of her eyes. Spirits. He was just as lost as she was. Maybe more. Her chest hurt for some reason. "Lieutenant..." she said softly. "I wish you would have just- said that to begin with. You caught me off guard. I don't- I don't make friends easily - and Kiri- that wasn't the best way for me to find out she was in danger. Had been in danger," she corrected herself before he could. "She's... patient with me," she admitted, even though the words felt uncomfortable saying aloud. She hadn't even realized how important until she'd been faced with the idea of something happening to the Trill officer. "...For some- I don't understand how my statements were conflicting, sir. You could just... ask, you know? Just... but you were, weren't you?" she said slowly, realizing. "You were asking. It just- I'm sorry, sir, it's just that you seemed very... aggressive and accusatory. But... if you say you didn't mean it that way. If you're sincere when you say that. I will try to... keep that in mind." She felt the tears threaten, for both of them. It was awful - this not being understood. Not being able to be understood. They both seemed to need a universal translator for their own personal languages, but there wasn't one. And all this fear... she wanted it out of her; it was an infestation. She breathed deep in her belly, like Carlisle had shown her, and blinked a few times to keep from leaking. "Right. Let's try this again. Would you like to sit down?"

Jeremy shook his head. "No, Ensign, I'll just wait for you to send me that information that you're going to look up. I've had enough of scaring you for one day." He sighed deeply and scowled. "For what it's worth, it doesn't matter to me what you say about me. Unlike Sidi, I can't be harmed by gossip anymore than I already am. There's even a club you can join. The Hate Lt. Stone club. I don't know if they charge dues or when they meet but...if you ask around you should be directed to them quickly enough. You can say all the awful things you want about how I scare you. It might even help you out, with being able to talk about how horrible I am."

Oh, for crying out loud, she thought. "I don't hate you. I didn't say you were 'horrible'. I don't know you. And for the last time, I don't gossip. I haven't heard any of the gossip you keep telling me about from anyone except for you. Please stop saying that. Do you even-" She wound her hands together, "It was very difficult for me to admit that at all, let alone to you. I don't- You really think I would-" Maybe it wasn't both of them. Maybe it was just her. Maybe her Federation Standard was broken. "And this is your solution? When presented with the problem that we are clearly having some fairly basic communication issues, you turn your back on resolution and understanding and throw pithy remarks at me? The 'Hate Lt. Stone Club'?" She rubbed the base of her ribs, where her chest still felt too tight. "At the risk of being entirely out of line, could we try for a second to just be an engineer and an officer of the peace? Just for a second. Can we try to resolve this as people? I don't want to be at odds with you, sir."

He looked at Sidi and nodded. Then scowled again. "It's not a 'pithy' remark. It was something that was actually done. You can speak with Crewman Athlen, he was one of the founders, I think." He spread his hands out. "What can I do? I scare you. I don't want to. I don't try to. I'm apparently harder to understand than a caliper and a gravimetric...thing." He frowned at that. "Staying and discussing anything further would be counterproductive. I have tried for years not to be me...to be someone who isn't this...thing. This monster that scares people and makes them hate me. Maybe you can be someone different than the person I started speaking with, but I can't. Maybe someday I won't scare you, but this isn't that day. Though, I'll try to rest your mind on one thing. I don't consider you at 'odds' with me. I'm told I'm not at all subtle. If we were at odds, you wouldn't doubt it."

Speaking, she thought, was getting her nowhere. Maybe it would be better if he could see it. She stood up and turned to her board, shifting the digital notations to the side to allow her to have space to write. Then she inscribed in careful lettering:
Point 1. I have never heard of a Starfleet officer starting a club about the hatred of anything. If this is true, I am very sorry. I would be hurt by that as well.
Point 2. I would deeply appreciate your not mentioning my admission of fear to anyone. I find it mortifying that I am afraid. It is situational, not personal to you.
Point 3. I said that trying to make you change your mind was like trying to use a gravimetric caliper to study sensor readings. Or something to the effect. I don't remember exactly. I was frustrated because we seemed to be speaking at cross purposes.

She underlined the words 'cross purposes' a couple times before she continued.

Point 4. Discussion when both parties seek resolution is never counter productive.
Point 5. I have tried to be not me too.
Point 6. I do not think you're a monster. I do not hate you. I think we're not understanding each other.
Point 7. Thank you.

She turned to him, pointing to the board, and then set the stylus down on the desk between them.

He frowned but turned his wrist over and tapped a few keys. Looking around, he tapped a few more. A cursor appeared on her board:

He crossed out the first item. Who would make up a story such as that?
2. Your problems are your own to discuss as you see fit - not mine to turn into gossip. Additionally, I did ask you not to spread your speculation theory regarding my injury, fair is fair.
3.I am told, quite often, that I am inflexible. Others tell me I am very stubborn.
3A. I am investigating a man I arrested for having classified ship data. If you know of anything suspicious or 'not quite right' then please forward me a report. that is my purpose. What is yours?

He frowned at that, because he had stated that when he arrived.

He crossed out number four. He knew that wasn't true. That was the area of diplomats.

He crossed out number five. There was nothing there to discuss. He had no advice to give nor could she give any.

At number six the cursor blinked. Finally it typed out: I do.

He crossed out seven. It was an expression of gratitude that too many had turned into little more than some useless pleasantry. What did she have to be grateful for? She had no idea if he would keep to his bargain and not reveal her fears or do any of the other things on the list. It was only from watching the screen that kept him from frowning at the vagaries of language and how much he disliked them.

He disconnected control over the board.

Lilou rested her hip on the desk, watching as he callously deleted points. Not callously, she corrected herself. Just... with apparent disregard for her point of view. On a sigh, she picked up her stylus again.
2. I never had any intention of turning my observation into gossip.
2A. I am frustrated by your insistence that I would do this. Especially as you seem to be concerned with proof of things and I have given you no cause to expect this from me.
3. You are stubborn.
3A. If I noticed anything suspicious, I would immediately forward a report to both you and Commander Holliday.
3A-1. I had not been informed by any means of any of the activities having taken place with regards to the incident precipitating your questions. The more I know, the more I know what to look for.
3A-2. The question 'what is yours' confuses me. Can you be more specific?
4. Not to be omitted.
6. You - sentence 1, 2, or 3?

He frowned, making a sound in his throat. Sidi whined but remained seated. He took control of the board again. Immediately he crossed out number two. It was a declaration and one that he could not yet refute or speak to, therefore it had to stand on it's own merit in potentia.

2A. I never said you would do so, I spoke to the possibility of doing so. If is a conditional statement that requires one of two values to be fulfilled in order to be considered true or false. IF you spoke of it THEN things happen (true value), IF you DID not speak of it THEN things would NOT happen (false value). I do not continue to accuse you of gossip, merely pointed out as I have asked you not to do so (whether you would or not is only relevant in honoring that request) then I should not engage in the same activity.

He crossed out number three. Then went back and deleted it. It was not an item of contention.

3A-1. For security purposes, many of the details must be kept confidential. However, what I do know and can share, I would. As I've told you, there is the possibility of more intrusions and problems arising. I speculate Graysan is an (incompetent) operative.

3A-2. Purpose.

4. the factions on dRen'Karri V and dRen'Karri III have been in negotiations for two hundred thirtyseven years. Each side wishes to end millenias of war, but thus far they have not been able to come to a settlement and continue to recycle their negotiations from scratch. Never is an absolute word. One time is enough to invalidate it.

6. Yes. Yes. Agree.

Lilou rubbed the side of her neck, watching as the list morphed. What was on his wrist? It was... well... awesome. She nodded once and went back to the board.

"2A," she wrote, looked back at him, then back at the board.
2A. I appreciate both the clarification on the point and. 2B. The mutual assurance of cooler heads and held tongues.
3A-1. If you could send me a report on what you can share, I would appreciate it.
3A-1-a. If there are flaws in the ship design which allow for infiltration - and you inform me of them - my team can work on rectifying the matter.
3A-1-b. He did not strike me as suspicious. Merely.

She paused, wrinkling her nose thoughtfully. "Ill-timed," she said, writing it down. She tugged her ear, thinking, looking at the board. "Odd. Not odd." She looked back at Stone. "My social experience is not great enough to make a judgement," she sighed, then turned back to the list.

3A-2. The question you are posing is 'what is my purpose?'

She stared at the line for a second, then erased it and re-wrote.

3A-2. The question you are posing is: "What is your purpose, Chief Peers?"
-If yes, please specify - my purpose as to what?
-If no, I don't know what you mean.

4. That does not mean that we cannot aspire to make it possible in this situation.

She bit her lip reading the last number. Yes. Yes. Agree. Yes, he thought he was a monster? Yes, he agreed she didn't? She looked back at him, then looked back at the board. She had no idea. But she had a feeling that asking more specifically at this point would only prove invasive for him and they seemed to be coming along far better now.

6. End line of inquiry.

She pointed to the line, then erased it, stepping away from the board.

He erased 2A to 3A-1.

3A-1a. I will do what I can.

3A-2. You wrote we were working at cross purposes, I do not know what your purpose is.

He erased four and then six.

7. I believe we are resolved at this point. I'll wait for you to send me the information regarding tours.

He let go of the board and absently scratched Sidi's ear.

Lilou cleared her throat, turning back to him, "Very good, sir. I'll send you a report."

"Thank you," he said as he took up Sidi's lead and turned to depart.

[OFF]

LTjg Jeremy Stone
Chief Security/Tactical Officer/K9
USS Galileo

ENS Lilou Peers
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Galileo

Sidious MWD7223
Security K9 unit
USS Galileo

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