The Center Cannot Hold

Posted on 20 May 2016 @ 3:29am by Chief Warrant Officer 3 Lamar Darius & Chief Warrant Officer 2 Anthony Duval

1,362 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 11 - Divinum Mundi
Location: USS Galileo - Duval / Darius's Quarters
Timeline: MD 08 - 2100Hrs

[ON]

Warrant Officer Second Class Anthony Duval was sitting cross legged in the center of the living space, his eyes were closed and to most he would resemble a living statue. Sometimes meditation came with perks and other times it was frustrating.

Duval wasn't sure what Lamar was doing and he found that he liked the other man, they seemed to be getting along quite well, while they still had their various troubles and issues but then what relationship didn't. the timer beeped once, Duval's eyes opened as he softly exhaled and then inhaled, he then began stretching.

The former-Marine's laege and dark fingers typed away methodically on the keyboard at his desk's console. He was busy writing a short letter back home before he headed off to the mess hall for some chow, and he hastily finished the message within a few minutes. Tapping the green 'SEND' button in the bottom right corner of the screen, the private email was blasted off into space towards the nearest subspace relay and would eventually make its way to Earth within a few hours at light speed travel.

"Alright, I'm heading to the mess for dinner. Gonna come?" he asked of his roommate who was in some sort of weird statuesque posture on the floor of their living room.

"Sure. Let me check my mail first..." Duval responded as he rose to his feet without effort, before he moved over to the terminal, he tapped the display once as a soft sigh escaped his lips.

The screen lit up with a mail notification, thinking it was for him, he tapped it once, it opened before him as he quickly glanced over it. "Lamar... I think this is for you." he said quietly as he quickly realized that this was not his mail account.

He hopped up out of the chair and got out of the way, so Lamar could read his mail. "I'm sorry... I thought it was mine.."

"Huh?" Lamar seemed a bit confused -- not necessarily that he had an incoming message, but that his roommate's demeanor seemed a bit off for someone who had just simply read a message that wasn't addressed to them.

"Yeah.... I think this one... is for you." Duval sighed softly before he moved off to give the other man some space, clearly he had read something he didn't want to see.

Moving with a small sense of urgency, Lamar sat back down at the desk and began to browse through the contents on the screen as the message slowly scrolled downwards for him to read. He swallowed a large lump that ha suddenly manifested in his throat and his dark eyes flicked towards the carpet at the corner of the room. He was speechless and couldn't think of any words to convey his feelings from reading the news. All he could think of was to murmur something to Duval.

"...You read this...?"

Duval sighed softly, he nodded despite the knowledge that this would end very badly. "Yeah... I did." he responded. "I thought it was for me..." he tapped the replicator once as he replicated two glasses of cold water. He plucked both from the tray before he turned back to face Lamar.

The senior warrant between the two shook his head and declined. Although his mouth was terribly dry right now, the thought of consuming fluids or food was the last thing on his mind. Instead, he was now consumed with the internal pain of learning that his partner had miscarriaged his child shortly after they'd met.

Such thing were not completely uncommon in the galaxy, especially where inter-species relations were involved. And Talla had given him a warning of such a possibility over subspace comms shortly before Galileo's departure. Even still, Lamar had hoped that modern science and access to both of their medical records could have prevented the complications from becoming fatal...but apparently even Starfleet medicine couldn't help.

"...I don't know what happened..." he mumbled to himself but audible enough for Duval to hear. "..'Complications'...what's that even mean?"

Duval regarded his roommate, compassion in his eyes which as unusual. "It could mean many things... blood type, incompatible DNA.." he explained softly. "Mismatched chromosomes." he sighed softly. "Immunologic Disorders.." Duval sipped his own drink before he polished it off in one smooth swig.

A long moment of silence ensued. Lamar wandered seemingly aimlessly around the room for a good chunk of time. He appeared to be looking at nothing in particular aside from the random decoration that littered their sparse quarters. In reality, he was pondering a plethora of things. Who to tell, what to do, how to reply to Talla, how to vent his anger.

"I was happy, you know. Never thought I wanted a kid till I found out one was on the way." That was perhaps the hardest part for Lamar to swallow. It had almost been a blessing and then it had been ripped away from him in the harshest of manners.

Duval regarded him in silence, as he thought back to his own chance to be a father fifteen years ago and his girlfriend who had been killed during a Jem'Hadar boarding action. "I know... " Duval answered quietly. "I've been there myself... During the war."

That was perhaps something both he and Lamar had in common. Being one of the older NCOs aboard Galileo, Darius had experienced life on the front lines first-hand. The sudden mention of it served well to take his mind off slightly away from his personal problems. "You fought the Dominion? On the ground?"

"In space too." Duval responded. "I served on the front lines from first shot to last..." he sighed softly. "I was... seeing someone and she and I were dating... she was pregnant when a Jem'Hadar killed her.."

"That's what they were good at; killing people. Didn't matter if it was a man or a woman... as long as they were in a Starfleet uniform, the Dominion made them targets," Lamar replied. He knew it wasn't much of a consolation, but Jem'Hadar rarely made any distinctions between man or woman, pregnant or not. It wasn't what they were engineered to do.

"Yes... They were.." Duval answered. "I confess... I grew to enjoy killing those scaly faced freaks.." Duval had no idea of why he was saying all of this, only that he felt more alive now then he had in years.

Darius stayed quiet for another moment while he chewed on the side of his cheek. Digesting potent feelings of remorse and anger weren't his forte and the momentary physical sensation helped to calm his mind. "At least you knew who killed your kid," he said plainly enough. "It had a face and a name and you could get revenge. I don't have any of that."

Duval regarded the other man. "No... I didn't get my revenge... as I never got the individual; Jem'Hadar who killed her." he responded. "All I could do was kill as many Jem'Hadar as I could.." he paused. "in the end, I stopped caring... All I wanted was the chance to kill; those scaly freaks.."

There wasn't much more that Lamar wanted to converse about for the time being. While he appreciated his roommate's revelation of his own struggles, Darius still felt a great deal of internal pain and wanted to deal with it in the best way he knew. His previous plans to get a meal at the mess were now abandoned, and instead he wanted to go straight to the gym. A good workout would at least help alleviate some of the stress and take his mind off things for a few hours. "I think I'm going to the gym. Thanks for the talk," he said sincerely before heading towards the exit. "I'll be back later."

Duval raised an eyebrow. "Do you want a spotter?" he inquired, knowing exactly where this was heading.

An indifferent shrug from lamar signaled his acceptance of the offer. "Yeah, why not. Com'on," he motioned.

[OFF]

--

CWO3 Lamar Darius
Chief Support Craft Pilot
USS Galileo
[PNPC Saalm]

CWO2 Anthony Duval
Engineer
USS Galileo

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