Dilemmas of the moral kind

Posted on 08 Dec 2015 @ 11:48pm by Lieutenant Tuula Voutilainen M.D. & Commander Allyndra illm Warraquim

1,964 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 10 - Symposium
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 3, Sickbay
Timeline: MD: post 11 Time: 0800

ON:

Allyndra had the records all in order to transfer over to Tuula on the patients. It was the normal routine of transferring charts but those sat in a little pile off to one side. That was not what she waited for Tuula to talk about this morning. No there were many other things and she felt nervous. Nervous to the point of fact that she found herself not sitting but pacing around the small office, her tea steaming quietly away but forgotten.

What sat in the center of the desk were three PaDDs and each had information that would or could change lives. Allyndra was not sure exactly were to start with any of them but perhaps it might be better with what she had gotten from those other Akkadians and work from there. She shuddered a bit wondering just exactly how the Akkadians had extracted that other Tuula's information but she was certain that it had not been easy or in any kindness. In fact she was not sure exactly what that one's ultimate fate was and she was not sure she wanted to know.

Slowly rolling into the Chief Medical Officer's office, Tuula looked very different than normal. Whereas usually she would spend much time in the morning applying her dark makeup and getting her hair just right, today the only thing around her eyes were dark circles from a lack of sleep. Even the way she moved was slower and with less enthusiasm than normal.

Looking up at Allyndra, she was overwhelmed with pangs of guilt. While she knew that she was nothing like her mirror counterpart, witnessing one of her friends being brutally tortured at the hands of her identical twin from the mirror universe had shaken her to her core.

"Allyndra..." started Tuula, her voice shaky at best, "how are you doing?" she asked, concerned for her friend.

Allyndra turned. "Fine, more or less" She shrugged, "They had ways to speed up the natural regeneration. And you? You look like one of the living dead right now."

"I'm alive, I guess. It's just... seeing the other me, and the terrible things she had done to you..." Tuula shivered as her voice weakened and trailed off.

"Yes, but that was someone else. I know the difference. An ordeal past....." Allyndra just trailed off. She knew the memory would linger but one of PaDDs on the desk held more that she was not sure how to approach.

"I am sorry I did not get a chance to talk to you aboard the Akkadian ship. I hope you were treated well. I asked that you would be. Marvelous wasn't it though?" The words were tumbling out as though a dam had been breached.

"I only had heard rumours about them from old times. Fold Ships. The ability to travel from one spot to another in no time. So many things that we here have lost." Her mind seemed elsewhere for a moment.

"It was amazing," replied Tuula, still in awe. She had only seen the inside of their medical facilities, but they were far beyond anything she had ever seen. "What happened to them?"

"We put most away, we almost destroyed ourselves but perhaps....." Allyndra remembered how the others had gotten past that and wondered if they had not done so would one have come along with the gift in the end to show the proper way. She would never be here, and perhaps even the Mother of the House. Well, it was all speculation and conjecture and things to think about.

She finally tapped one PaDD. "I think this should belong to you. It is the medical treatment you received. I have translated it but it would appear that when I asked that you be healed they took it as literally as possible. It would appear they made some progress on your spinal cord."

"This is..." Tuula flipped through the PADD, at the facts and figures present. She could barely make heads or tails of some of it, but she could see a small amount of regeneration in the before and after pictures. "Wow," she said, amazed. "Their medical facilities were amazing. Just think of all the healing we could do with even a fraction of their technology. We could even..." she looked down at her legs for a split second then nervously back up at Allyndra.

"Yes, well we kept some of that but nothing quite so up to date. I have not made that a part of your official medical file until you have time to review it." Allyndra turned and then touched one of the other PaDDs. "That is the easy one. This is the much harder one." She pushed the PaDD over like it was a dangerous viper. "It would seem that along with what they knew the Akkadians somehow got a hold of your counterparts work. Work done through some pretty horrible experiments involving much suffering. That as it maybe that Tuula was getting close as I assess it to figuring how to transfer the regeneration from Akkadians to herself. Much much further then I have come even with working with Kohl. The problem is should we use the work that was accumulated in such a way or let it go? I am not sure I am fully qualified to answer that since I would not be the recipient of such research. This is for you to look out and decide but I think between what was already accomplished and what is in here we could fully restore you to being able to walk."

Tuula took the PADD in her hand and began flipping through it. But after a couple swipes, she could look at it no longer. Instead of facts and figures, as she stared into the PADD, all she could see was Allyndra looking back up at her, screaming in pain as the other Tuula performed her cruel experiments. She closed her eyes to block it out, but the vision remained.

Shaking, she placed the PADD back on the desk and took a deep breath. "I saw what she did to you," said Tuula, looking into Allyndra's eyes. "Can we use her research, knowing where it came from? Would that make us as bad as her, benefitting from the suffering of others?" She shook her head and looked down at her legs. On the other hand, the information contained there offered her and others like her hope for a cure.

"But this regeneration technology could help out so many people..." she said. "Would it not be a waste to destroy scientific knowledge? We could never replicate her experiments..."

Tuula held her head as a tear came to her eye. She wanted to benefit from the suffering of others? This was the most difficult ethical quandrary she had ever found herself in. And it didn't help that as a potential beneficiary of the regeneration technology, she had a personal stake in the question. "But the other Tuula was a cruel and terrible person... I don't know." Looking back up at Allyndra, she continued. "What's the right thing to do?"

Allyndra made the odd shrug that caused the gossamer wings to rustle. "I do not know." She nodded her chin toward the PaDD and said, "What is the Earth expression? Something like I do not have a dog in the fight? This would be something that would benefit you, Kohl, or others. It would need refinement, she had made strides but it not completed the work. My thought though if I were in that position perhaps put it aside for now and think more on it."

Tuula stared at the PADD once more. "Just do me one favour. Hide it somewhere. I don't want that PADD in my sight; it reminds me of the terrible things she did to you."

"Only partially me. What you mainly see is my other self." Allyndra shook her head. "That feels strange does it not? Ah well...."

Allyndra waited and then said, "Now I need to be the patient and you my doctor." She pushed the third PaDD over. "That is my most recent medical scan."

"Interesting," said Tuula as she browsed the scan. Though she had yet to delve too deeply into her studies of Akkadian anatomy, she found it absolutely fascinating. "Wait, are those..."

"Fertile eggs, yes."

"Congratulations," replied Tuula. "And the father..."

"My husband or rather what would have been my husband. He was just so much alike and yet there was a sadness that clung to him. His Allyndra was gone there as my Gerrin was gone here. Things happened so fast...." Allyndra closed her eyes remembering the first bites before being swept away in a sea of emotion and lust.

"I am not sure congratulations are in order. I am not even sure if I should keep them. It would mean returning to Akkadia and explaining things and then........" Allyndra shook from head to toe as though a chill wind that only she could feel passed over. "Once before I waited for my K'tareth to return from the sea and none ever did. I am mot sure I could face that again. What if none ever did again? What if I am cursed? The gods set me on this path why have they teased me with this?"

Tuula took a deep breath and placed a hand on Allyndra's, attempting to comfort her. She wondered for a moment why Allyndra chose to approach her; was it because of her medical history? But then she looked up into Allyndra's eyes and saw why.

Allyndra was separated from her people, as the only Akkadian in the fleet. Tuula was the closest thing she had to a friend on the ship. Tuula thought about the question for a moment and then, in a gentle voice, asked Allyndra, "What do you want to do?"

"I do not know. So much of me is torn. Another chance or will I just face heartbreak again? Still a part of me wants to fly the skies once again....." The look on her face seemed far away. She spoke but it seemed distant as her gaze. "See the Lock and Key align, soon the Lovers will kiss, tell me the story again......" she trailed off. Her focus suddenly snapped back. "Perhaps a trip home, a trip to consult with Guild Mother. There is time enough for that." She placed slim fingered hand on Tuula's. "Thank you. Still I must ask for discretion."

"Of course," said Tuula. She wasn't completely sure what exactly Allyndra was talking about -- there were many aspects of Akkadian culture that she was unaware of. Still, she was glad that she could help, even if it was just by providing Allyndra a sympathetic ear. "I know one thing," she added, "if you do decide to keep them, you'll be a great mother."

Allyndra shook her head. "It would depend on what the Guild has to say. Children belong to the Guild not an individual. Of course they may ask me to stay which means I will resign from Fleet or they may ask me to continue. Part of my dilemma for I am not sure I wish to stay there if they ask now." She shrugged again that odd shrug. "I am bound to the Guild Mother's word." She sighed and lapped the PaDDs one more time. "So many things to contemplate on. Life is full of dilemmas is it not?"

Tuula sighed and let out a hint of a smile. "It wouldn't be very interesting if it weren't, now would it?"

"No it wouldn't" Allyndra agreed.

[OFF]

Lieutenant (JG) Tuula Voutilainen
Medical Officer
USS Galileo

LCmdr Allyndra illm Warraquim
Chief Medical Officer
USS Galileo

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