Emotional Overload

Posted on 17 Aug 2015 @ 12:31am by Lieutenant JG Tinaro Cyi & Jynn
Edited on on 29 Aug 2015 @ 12:02am

4,501 words; about a 23 minute read

Mission: Episode 09 - Empires
Location: USS Galileo, Shuttlebay
Timeline: MD3, 0800

ON:

Following the debacle with the wargames and then the transition into God knew where, and his holodeck adventure with Jynn following all of that, Wintrow had retreated to the shuttle bay where first he had managed to fall asleep on one of the bunks inside a shuttle and then when he had woken up he had crawled under the console in the front and had started to take it apart.

Somewhere, he had heard the shuttlebay doors open but some part of him had reasoned it had been his imagination. Ducked under the console up to his torso, and lying on his back, his view was largely obscured by the seats and the parts he'd taken out for maintenance. A PADD lay beside him, it's faceplate lit up and showing diagrams and texts on how to take it apart. The teenager was humming softly to himself as he studied part of the wiring that was now exposed above him, carefully prying them apart with his fingers.

With a hiss of the doors Jynn stepped into the shuttlebay of the Galileo, just steps ahead of his other empathic friend. They just had to meet in a more personal way than floundering about in a shuttlebay during near catastrophe and Jynn was sure to make it post haste. The moment he heard Wintrow was in the shuttlebay Jynn knew that would be the perfect place for the three pilots to get to know each other more. He had quickly grabbed Tinaro and almost raced him to their current location, though he was not sure if he had shared his excitement. He slowly scanned the shuttlebay for Wintrow while awaiting Tinaro's arrival.

Ti entered the shuttle bay a few moments later. Even with the hypo he gave himself to ease the throbbing in his shoulder, he made a concious effort not to favor it or display his discomfort. He'd get a medical nco to took at it off duty if it kept hurting but he did not want to go to sickbay or explain to Jynn what happened. He plastered on a broad smile. "Hey, sorry I'm running a little behind."

"I don't think you did any running at all," Jynn replied with a grin. "I thought you'd be just as eager as me." He began to slowly scan the room for the young pilot he had met not long ago as he continued to speak. "So, as I was saying, the fine fellow you are about to meet is half-Betazoid. He can sense people's emotions but he has trouble controlling that. So we may have to try and contain ourselves around him while he learns." Not being able to see Wintrow anywhere, Jynn deduced that he must be in one of the two shuttles. "This is like Hide and Seek," he exclaimed. "Let's find him!"

Ti nodded. He was sure he could block a half-betazoid, hell he could block groups of full betazoids so he wasn't every concerned. He wasn't found of being around others from his homeworld, they generally were too impressed but his House and all of that which embarrassed and annoyed Tinaro. Still he would have to interact with this Cadet so he might as well get it over with. As eager as Jynn obviously was to play this Seeking the Hid game, it wasn't a concept Tinaro was very familiar with, especially among telepaths. It was VERY hard to hid on Betazed. Tinaro lowered his mental wall a bit and located the half-betazoid.

"Third shuttle on the right." Cyi said moving towards the shuttle. He sensed what Jynn was talking about. The cadet was very easy to spot, focusing on his work on a console.

"You're no fun," Jynn replied with a fake frown. At least they'd be able to gather faster, he thought.

Unaware of any visitors, Wintrow continued to hum to himself as he lay half hidden by the console, still prying the device apart with the help of the PADD that lay beside him. He had a spanner clenched between his teeth, his dark eyes focused on the loose wires above him. He had taken half the console apart, which was for safety purposes, powered down and disconnected from the main power in the shuttle. Still he had to be wary of any remaining current in the console, so he was careful as he worked.

Jynn locked his sights onto the shuttle and proceeded forth with a brisk walk. He made his way around and spotted the open shuttle hatch, which certainly made it somewhat more obvious which shuttle he was in, mental powers or not. He quickly stepped up the ramp and, what? No Wintrow? It couldn't be. Some sort of trick maybe?

He stepped forward to take a look around. Making a quick scan of the area as he walked in he suddenly found his feet tangled within some unseen obstacle. As he tripped over Wintrow's cleverly hidden feet he went stumbling back towards Tinaro, landing firmly against him and holding onto him in a stabilizing hug. He looked into Tinaro's eyes with what could best be described as a 'cute' look, and spoke "Oh, my. I seem to have lost my balance. Thanks for the catch, dear," he finished saying with a quick kiss to his cheek and a bit of laughter.

Ti's eyes narrowed, partially out of reaction to the invasion of personal space and partially to conceal the pained expression on his face from the jostling on his still injured shoulder. He helped Jynn right himself then turned his attention of the Cadet.

Wintrow yelped as something tangled with his legs and bolted upright, bashing his head against the underside of the console. A second yelp followed as he scrambled from under his workspace and climbed to his feet, rubbing his head. He was smudged and dissheveled, watching the two men with wide eyes. "Sir," he mumbled, not quite sure how to keep himself now. "Everything alright sir?"

"Everything's fine, Wintrow. This lovely lad here is Tinaro, I do believe you've met before, but it was probably most uncomfortable."

Ti looked over the entangled Cadet. "Your a mess, Cadet. Surely they didn't teach you to walk around in such a state in the Academy."

Aware of the loaded emotions that suddenly seemed to fill the shuttle, Wintrow stared from one to the other, and back, while rubbing his head. "Ah..." he murmured uncomfortably, "I'm sorry for my appearance sir." He addressed both but didn't look at them. "I was working.."

"No, Cadet, you were making a mess. One can not work with components all over the place on a starship. If there were an emergency and we needed to egress quickly, how would we do so with equipment all over the place?"

The younger man seemed to shrink back at the harsh words and he looked down at his smudged hands. "The shuttle still flies if I connect the console sir," he whispered, "it's not that far apart and it's logged as being down for maintenance." He picked up his PADD, switched to a different document, then handed it to Cyi. "All according to protocol sir."

Strange, Jynn thought to himself. He had assumed their first real meeting would be a little less tense. Perhaps it was all the errant emotion floating throughout the room, but whatever it was it was certainly making things less than hospitable. Perhaps it was the duty? Jynn rather disliked meeting people while on duty. It was way too formal. "Tinaro. This fine young man is Wintrow... the Betazoid I spoke of."

"Half," Wintrow squeaked nervously. "Dad was Human."

"Well you are a whole cadet, and if you want a career in Flight Control, you need to be aware of whats going on around you and able to work in a more orderly and precise manner." Tinaro looked over at the work that was actually being done. "But you seem to be on the right track. Tell me why you would need to learn how to do this?"

"Because there may be a time where there's no engineers available and if I have a malfunction I need to be able to make repairs myself," Wintrow replied, while trying to wipe a smudge off his face, but really only making it worse. "I wasn't expecting anyone looking in sir." The boy looked somewhere between flustered, and ready to flee, though he was trying very hard to calm himself.

"You're a Cadet, you should always expect someone to be looking in. It gets worse as you move up in rank, trust me." Tinaro replied. "Good answer but not the right one.." Ti continued as he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to the Cadet. "This is YOUR shuttle. It doesn't matter who out ranks you, where you are going, what your doing; when you are flying it its YOURS. You need to know how to fly it and how to make it obey your commands. Part of that, " Tinaro knelt down a looked at the modules under the navigation console, "is knowing what you're telling it and how to tell it. Understanding that would make you a better pilot. Do you understand?"

Jynn knelt down slightly behind Tinaro, his emotions calm and almost fascinated. He was totally unprepared for the meeting of all these emotionally charged minds. He was unfamiliar with how Betazoids reacted around one another, especially in the midst of ones who seemingly lacked control. Perhaps this was a test? A sort of way of sizing the other up? A sense of concern crept into Jynn's mind, worried that perhaps the younger Betazoid beneath the console would not be prepared for what was happening.

"Perhaps we should allow the cadet," he spoke with an abrupt pause. He hated such words. Titles. "Perhaps we should allow Wintrow to come to his feet before we continue this meeting. It feels most awkward." Awkward. He had spoken in regards to the position of their bodies but he felt the word pointed towards the rest of the situation as well.

When Tinaro had joined him, though he had accepted the hanky, Wintrow had frozen at the officer's close proximity. He scrambled as Jynn suggested they get to their feet and scrubbed at his face with the piece of fabric he'd been given. "I've always wanted to know the in and out of something I fly," he replied somewhat defensively. "On my prior assignment I did the maintenance on my own Razor. I want to do that on the shuttles here too..if I'm to fly a shuttle, I want to maintenance it. Sir."

He smiled ever so shyly, without looking at them. "I like to know how things work, sir...I like to tinker."

"That's a great idea, Wintrow," Jynn replied in an upbeat tone, trying to lighten the conversation. "I admire your dedication to all the facets of flight! Just like the rest of our crew, it is good to get to know even our non-living counterparts so that we may better understand them."

Tinaro simply watched and nodded. He wasn't sure what it was about the young Wintrow that bothered him but something did. Ti make a point not to visit Betazed since he left. He saw his parents on the few occasions they visited Earth or via communications but Wintrow suddenly reminded him of them. Sure he was only half Betazoid but that half was very Betazoid he sensed. Ti turned his attention to Jynn, who as usual seemed almost elated with every situation.

The tension seemed to be subsiding, at least for the moment. With a mental sigh of relief Jynn continued the introduction of the Betazoids. "It seems that young Wintrow here has more to learn than protocols and procedures. He has let me know (though Jynn certainly sensed it even without being told) that he has a rather difficult time controlling his naturally given abilities. It stood to reason that it would make the meeting for you two that much more enjoyable, a cadet willing to learn both within Starfleet as well as on a more personal level, and just the person to help him with that." He paused and with a smile continued, "I'm sure they two of you will get along just fine!"

Wintrow was still feeling flustered from the compliment he'd been paid just seconds ago about his dedication to learning to fly and learn to maintenance whatever vehicle he was expected to fly. "I hope so," he managed, feeling extremely awkward. He looked up at Tinaro, smiling ever so shyly and uncertainly. "I can't read minds," he explained, "but I can sense emotions, and when I'm out there, flying, I also have a sense of danger. But I don't know how to direct or control it. I don't know how to shield my own mind off to other telepaths."

Ti nodded. "Most mixed species Betazoids only develop empathic abilites and not out telepathic traits. You would probably not be able to shield your mind completely from strong or trained telepath, but you should be able to not broadcast your thoughts like humans do." Ti rarely blocked himself off from empaths since they weren't usually around him much and he focused more on not sensing others thoughts and emotions all the time. Still he wanted to demonstarte to Wintrow what it would be like to be closed off to someone. He blocked himself off to Wintrow. Emphatically, he disappeared to the Cadet.

Wintrow didn't like not being able to sense someone. He remembered trying to help the lieutenant 2 days ago and being shut off to spare him. But this was different. "This doesn't feel right," he said softly. "I see you but it's like you're not here. I sense nothing at all." he looked at Jynn, then back at Tinaro. "How do you do that? Can you do the opposite too? Make someone more aware, say in an emergency?"

"It takes some practice." Tinaro replied. "You have to learn to seal out other people's thoughts or in your case, emotions before you can seal your own in. As far as helping others, making them more aware as you put it, No I would not recommend it. Most non-telepathic species can not fathom thoughts and feeling beyond their own. It is a concept completely alien to them. They only interact with the universe though sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell. To add another sense would more often then not daze and confuse them. Think how disorienting you feel NOT being able to sense me. Not registering on one of your senses. That is how humans interact with each other all the time."

"That's ..." Wintrow didn't even have words for it but now that Cyi said it, he thought about it, and it was beyond his comprehension. He shook his head. "Unimaginable, "he finally finished. "But having the ability to close off seems very useful. You did it in the shuttlebay too, when you were hurt. Could you teach me how?" He realized that Jynn was somehow being cut out of the conversation and he cast the boss an apologetic smile to indicate it wasn't the intention.

Jynn had found himself leaning against one of the walls of the shuttle, arms crossed and listening intently to the two of them getting acquainted. He returned Wintrow's smile as if to signify he was perfectly happy just hearing the two of them. Perhaps he could learn a thing or two about blocking emotions, himself.

Reassured, Wintrow returned his attention to the Betazoid, watching him anxiously.

Ti shook his head. "It takes... years.. of training to be able to do that and," Ti took a deep breath. "And I am not really the teacher sort when it comes to.. well that. Besides, I am not sure being only part Betazoid, you would be able to do it with the best of teachers, which again I am far from."

"I don't need to do it completely, just...shield myself. I don't need to disappear like you did." Wintrow was desperate to learn more of his Betazoid heritage, and find someone to help him train his abilities.

Ti sighed, discomforted with the thought of telepathic tutelage, but Wintrow had a point. He needed to be able to protect his thoughts, even at the most basic level. "Alright." Ti moved to the front of the shuttle and sat down indicating for the Cadet to do the same.

Wintrow sat down, turning the seat to face him, an anxious look on his face now. This was very sudden, and without any preparation but he was grateful to be granted this. "Thank you sir," he whispered as he waited.

Ti nodded and closed his eyes. He thought for a moment about how he was going to do this.

I guess the direct way is the best way. Ti thought to himself. He did some mental housecleaning and stuffed away all of stray thoughts and emotions and side ideas away. He did not want to accidentally share with the Ensign. Sure that he was locked up nice and tight, He drew in a deep breath in though his nose and let it out though his mouth. Okay, Let's do this.


He reached across mentally and overlapped his consciousness with the young Cadets subconsciousness and bright it to the surface of his awareness. Ti always found alien minds, disturbing and rather unorganized. Save Vulcans who were TOO organized in thought. Almost everyone; however, had a messy subconscious and Wintrow was no exception. Ti overlaid his consciousness to control the visual representation of the subconscious to Wintrow since he had not learned to do so himself and just in case anything went wrong. He manifest the emotional input Wintrow was receiving to be an ocean, wide and vast. It was a terrible and beautiful thing. Deep, mysterious, untamed sapphire blue waves of emotions. Spawning beauty from their depths, seashells of feelings form in every color and they too bring forth light. Mingled with the jewel like surface is a dark and deep mystery with soft swells sweep across the ocean like sparkling tears. The ocean is full of salt with it full of sorrow. Something so saturated with sadness forms such beauty and peace. The ocean is a mystery yet full of life. It is the evidence of life.

Ti and Wintrow was standing on the water as it churned and rolled beneath their feet. Ti was out of uniform and in the flowing loose Betazoid garments he usually wore around when off duty. "Alright, Wintrow, here we are. This is your subconscious. Your mind is the lake here in the middle of this ocean. It is hard to tell where the lake ends and the ocean begins isn't it? So it is with your empathic abilities. First step is to have a solid sense of SELF. This is ME." Ti placed his metaphysical hands on his chest. "This is YOU." Ti moved to place his hands on Wintrow's chest but they past right though him. Ti frowned. "That is something you can work on in your free time later. Here, I'll help." Ti reached down and put his hands on the surface of the water beneath them. It instantly rippled and solidified to a sandy beach that stretched out for 15 meters all around them.

The younger man stood meshmerized by the view; he did love the ocean and he was reminded of the times he had gone sailing back on earth (or on the holodeck) braving the storms with his little boat. Yet even as he stared, he was listening closely, nodding in understanding. He wondered if the representation of himself had solidified with the appearance of the beach because seeing Ti's hand pass right through him felt somewhat disturbing.

Ti looked out at the Ocean. "Sadness, it lies in all of us. Though unwanted, unbidden it is there. Sadness is one of our many emotions. Emotions make us strong, most of the time. Sadness too. It speaks to us, guides us. It rules us all. What other choice do we have? It hurts, some times more than we can bear. Some believe that if we didn't have emotions, life would be easier. Maybe without emotions we would finally know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. We would be shells of the people we once were. Without emotions we would be truly dead. People die, and you are sad. People fight, and you are sad. People are born, and you are happy. People make-up, and you are happy. Our emotions flip-flop inside of us and we. And we are helpless to stop it. But we are responsible to our own emotions, not everyone elses. We need to defend ourselves from the chaos of other people's feelings."

Ti shook his head. "Alright, Let's begin. You see the edges there. Where YOU end and the OTHERS begin? Look at how the waves lap up on the shore. That if you sensing them. As the waves would eventually erode away the beach, so other's emotions, unchecked, can erode away our own sense of self. We become sad because others are sad. That is not good. So we need to put a barrier between us and them. Concentrate hard on creating something that can come between the water and the beach. A sand bag."

Again, Wintrow nodded. "That makes sense," he replied softly as his eyes traveled to the beach and the water washing ashore. "The representation is perfect, I really do understand sir."

Ti watched as a single sandbag popped into existence. Ti picked up the bag and placed it at the waters edge. "There that is the mental equivalent of blocking the emotions of one person. Just need to practice doing that.. a lot. Line your beach with the sandbags." Ti waved his hand and bags ringed the small beach. "Once you have that mastered you can build it higher." He snapped his fingers and the ring of bags were 20 layers high. "And stronger." He touched the wall of bags and they shifted to stone. Then to Steel.

"Wow..." The younger Betazoid watched in amazement as a solid wall was built around them and he felt the emotions from others cease around them. Not completely gone from his point of perception, but certainly dimmed. "How long did it take you to learn to built this solid a wall?" he asked as his mental self reached to touch the wall. It was rock solid, but he reasoned that if he had to do this for himself, it might take a while to create something like this. He had never really been alone in his life, always aware of others. Only when he was older, did he learn where that trait had come from, and by that time, it had developed in a kind of defensive measure. "How do I start with building a wall like this?" he asked, knowing he needed to learn, and really did want to learn, but also reasoning that maybe, this was beyond his ability to do.

"One bag at at time." Ti said sagely. "It is better if you concentrate on the making sandbags. Then when you can make a ring of the instantly then try making one ring with another on top of it. After you master that, think of bricks. They are smaller and harder. Them make a row of bricks. Then a brick wall. It is best to always start small. Practice. Practice. It is like a muscle in your mind. The more you use it the stronger it becomes. I do not know the limits of your abilities, as I am sure you do not." Ti turned serious for a moment. "Never try something outside your ability. You can seriously damage yourself and possibly others, do you understand, Cadet?"

"I understand sir," the boy answered gravely though his yearning to learn was visible in his dark eyes. "Sandbags first," he promised as he concentrated on creating them. They were horribly shaped, but it was a start. One by one, more appeared around them but the boy was tiring.

His physical self was tiring too and it was a good thing he was already sitting down. Perspiration formed on his brow, making tracks down his smudged face.

To most outside observers the shuttle had become deathly quiet and still. To the outside observer that was Jynn, however, it had become more interesting than he could have imagined, able to feel a slightly different dimension than those of non-empaths. The ebbing and flowing of emotion, not to mention the sudden quieting and silencing of the normally ever-present sensations he felt and then it's equally quick return. It was certainly a curiosity. He wondered why anyone would want to block it all out, but then again not everyone was himself. Instead of questioning it he took the time to observe it. It was certainly not something he had the chance to witness all the time.

Ti nodded. "That is enough for now." Ti opened his eyes and looked at the exhausted looking Cadet and remembered his attempts at the same when he was a very small child.

"Practice that as often as you can and you will be able to put up a passable barrier in now time. Just don't over do it." Ti remarked outloud.

Wintrow blinked as he opened his own eyes. It was odd to hear words out loud when he'd been hearing them inside his head for however much time had passed. "I will," the younger man promised, "and I won't sir. I'm no good to anyone if I overdo things." He smiled tiredly, even though his shift had only just started. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, Ensign." Tinaro replied. He stood and took look at Jynn. "If there isn't anything else, Sir..."

Wintrow looked up to. "WIth your permission sir, I'd like to complete this maintenance..."

"Denied. You need some sleep. You can finish this later." Ti wasn't sure if he was asking him or Jynn but he was sure the youngster was fatigued from the mental exercise. He wasn't sure if the young man knew it or not yet but he would feel it sooner than later.

Surprised, Wintrow looked up, then nodded. "Understood sir," he answered softly, "permission to return to my uhm...temporary residence?" With his quarters damaged, he'd sought refuge with Ellsworth, sleeping on the floor.

Jynn could do nothing more than smile at the outcome. It seems that the initially shaky meeting had at least gone somewhat better than he expected. "I suppose we're all dismissed, then."


OFF:
Cadet SO Wintrow Paragon
Support Craft Pilot
USS Galileo
pnpc T'Vanna

Lieutenant JG Jynn
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Tinaro Cyi
Asst. Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Galileo

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