Soul Travellers

Posted on 09 Apr 2015 @ 10:54pm by Commander Norvi Stace & Ensign K'os Beaumont
Edited on on 10 Apr 2015 @ 4:27pm

3,521 words; about a 18 minute read

Mission: Episode 08 - NIMBUS
Location: USS Galileo - Engineering
Timeline: MD -02, 0232 hours

ON:

Stace walked slowly and absentmindedly into the engine room, the pull of her past reaching beyond the years and memories of a lifetime now long gone threading into her present. Gamma shift was now in full swing, and Lieutenant Grayson Jones taking up his first bridge duty shift left Engineering eerily quiet and vacant.

The Trill walked down the lighted base-path as though in a dream, her eyes trained onto the flourishing warp core; it - and the soft humming of the engines vibrating gently through the bulkheads - being the ship's only physical betrayal that the Nova class ship was hurtling through space at faster than light speed. She placed her cold hands onto the steely rail surrounding the lava lamp of colours and then spied a vacant pulled-out chair in front of a console. She meandered over to it and then lowered herself into its supportive bucket, taking her head into her hands and resting her elbows on the plastic-looking surround. She wasn't aware that she had company.

Somewhere deep within Engineering the hybrid Engineer's Mate had his head stuck under a loud conduit and didn't hear the woman come in. He finished calibrating the plasma flow regulator for his simulation and stood up to return to his workstation. Had K'os not been disconnected from his emotions at the time, he might have nearly jumped and yelled out in surprise when he came around the corner to return to his seat. "Commander," His voice was calm but with a tone of familiarity, "You nearly scared me to death." He said the expression more out of reflex than actually feeling anything.

Stace flicked her attention up from her quiet, awakened slumber and then widened her eyes to K'os as her realisation of where she was slammed into her consciousness. "Ah, sorry," she apologised, quickly standing up and brushing down the front of her uniform. "I think I lost myself for a moment. I didn't think anyone would be down here so late. I didn't mean to be disturb your work."

A smile formed on the young man's face as he allowed his emotions to resurface, "No, that's ok. You didn't disturb anything. I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to keep working on this thing for Lieutenant Jones. If you want a moment alone, I can find something else to do. It's no trouble." K'os always had a need to make the other person comfortable and happy, and he really meant his words when he said he could leave her to her thoughts if she asked him to.

Stace shook her head and then smiled, lifting her head up from her hands with wide eyes. "Not at all," she replied, moving over and indicating the vacant chair next to her at the console. "I'd be glad of the company. But that's why I'm down here too. I couldn't sleep either." She sighed and then raised both eyebrows to him. "I used to do this a lot," she admitted, looking around the small engine room of the Nova class. "When I couldn't sleep or had something on my mind, I used to come down to Engineering during Gamma shift and quietly sit in a corner. It used to take my mind off of things. Only thing is, Engineering of a Galaxy class afforded you a little more anonymity than here."

K'os was the kind of person that needed to maintain eye contact when speaking with someone. Lowering himself into the chair brought him eye level and he studied her green eyes while she spoke and it relaxed him. "Junction 12." K'os beamed a dimpled grin. "Junction 12," He said again, but pointing to a hatchway into a Jefferies tube on the other side of the space, "is where I go for that. There's a hum just loud enough to give you something to think about other than your thoughts and if you lay down in the walkspace you can feel a small vibration which kind of lulls you to sleep." He leaned in a little closer and said conspiratorially, "I've had short naps in there before in between double shifts. I wish I could drift off that easily in my own bunk."

"I don't usually have trouble sleeping," Stace admitted. "To the envy of my friends and exes, I can tell you that. I'm usually a Head Hits the Pillow kind of girl. But it's just these games. And looming ever closer to a thread I'd rather not pull too hard at." She looked over with a grin and indicated with a nod of the head to the hatch, trying to detract from what was really bothering her. "Junction 12, huh?" she asked mischievously. "Do you take a blanket too?"

"If I can smuggle one in." He said, mimicking her grin briefly. His grin turned to a soft smile as he continued to study her eyes. She had changed the subject, but K'os was too compassionate not to nudge the conversation back. He didn't know her very well, but they worked and lived on a small vessel that he felt friendly towards her. Everybody bumped into everyone at one point or another. K'os was comfortable enough with people that he felt it completely natural to be casual with her; even if she was not only a senior Officer, but acting CO of the Galileo. Hazarding a guess as to how she might be feeling about her new role, he asked, "I know would have trouble sleeping if I were made an acting CO of a ship too, have you commanded a ship before, Norvi, or is this your first time?"

Despite K'os conscious effort, he had managed to steer the conversation right back to where Stace had tried to avoid. She widened her eyes innocently, breathed a smile and began. "I have, which is why I'm down here, if I'm honest." She knew not reveal too much to the people serving beneath her, but short of counselling, this was the best that she was going to get. She sighed and then continued. "My previous host was captain. In fact, one of his last acts in the Fleet was to attend the first ever games. And therein lies the rub." She heard the silence between them and then added, "He had a lot to do with the design and evolution of the games before his accident. And had planned to attend with his ship, the Gilmore, at their inauguration. But his health got the better of him and he was forced to resign his commission. He attended as a Mission Advisor but only to observe. And now I'm here, completing his life's work. And as a commanding officer too. It's just a wave of emotion and memory. And one of the stipulations of Joining and returning back to the Fleet from the Symbiosis Commission was to avoid such a re-association."

K'os' rounded eyebrows lifted when she described it as a wave of emotion and memory. He nodded that he understood, continuing to make eye contact the whole time. He knew almost nothing about the Symbiosis Commission, and his eyes crinkled a bit in worry. It bothered him slightly to imagine what possible ramifications of re-association would be, whatever that meant. He let go of his worry with a nudge of mental control; genuine curiosity now superseding any fears. "Can you recall memories from all your hosts anytime or only when triggered?"

"Uh, that's a difficult question," Stace prefaced with an awkward smile. She took in a breath and then smiled uneasily. "Do you know how you sometimes have a childhood memory, or see a flash of a face in a crowd that you recognise but then aren't quite sure whether it is something from your past or something that you have read or was told about? It's a little like that only five times worse. We go through a lot of training to differentiate lives from lives. But it can get messy. And certain things can trigger certain memories." She paused and then put her hand on her forehead. "I'm not explaining this very well, am I?" she asked rhetorically. "Memory is such an intangible thing, isn't it? It's layered and misty and thick and connective. But for all intents and purposes, I remember a lot. But then so little."

The younger man shook his head in the negative."I understand what you mean, but it's hard for me to imagine what that would feel like." K'os reached up and tapped the side of his head with a finger, "My memories are almost too detailed. I can remember sounds, smells and the smallest of details; even of childhood memories." K'os scrunched up his forehead in thought, and tilted his head slightly. "Melded memories though are similar to that. Like, memories that I have from melding with another person's mind I mean. I have my Mother's memories and the memories from a couple different friends. Those memories used to be a lot like that. Not cloudy or hard to remember, but rather more like confusion over whether what I'm feeling is because of the memory I'm recalling or if they're my own."

"You're part Vulcan, aren't you?" Stace asked rhetorically. "That must be so strange to have other people's memories as apart of you. I suppose I take it for granted. The memories I hold are mine. I've lived through them, so when I recall it is with some familiarity." She paused and then smiled. "Looks like you and I are kindred spirits then, Engineer."

"Kindred spirits, indeed." His voice was warm, and a tight-lipped smile formed. He tilted his head and crossed his arms and placed his index finger against the side of his mouth. The young man had a form of wisdom that at times seemed beyond his years. Which made him an effective active listener by nature and he nudged the conversation back on Stace; mainly to show that he had been listening to everything she said. "You said you go through a lot of training to differentiate, do they teach a form of meditation like they do on Vulcan, or is it a different kind of process?"

"Part of it it is meditation," Stace replied, looking off into the distance. "And the other is training yourself to compartmentalise your past." She paused and then cast her mind back to before she was Joined. "The memories are like layers; each life laid down like a carpet on top of the others. Sometimes, when the light hits the woven pattern just right, you can peer into the depths of what's beneath. But other days you can merely stand on them, knowing that what's underneath your feet is lifetimes of history. Distinct yet together and harmonious." She decided that she wasn't explaining herself properly so then with intent locked her eyes on K'os. "Imagine a glass of plain water, and some watercolour paints. If I was to, with a brush, stir in some red, the water would turn red. When I then add blue, it turns purple. You can't separate the colours once they're combined, and the blue and the red are completely transformed. But the components are still there. There's actually a ritual called the zhian'tara where can, for a brief time, separate the lives I have lived and meet them. But I am yet to go through it. The Symbiosis Commission is rather insistent that this takes place sooner than later. But I'm not ready."

"Very fascinating." K'os said genuinely. He marveled at the similarities between them, but conscious of the vast difference. "Your water and colour metaphor explains it well. My memories -- rather, the memories and feelings I have of those I've melded with, I should say -- are at times like that. Seemingly mixed and entwined into my own psyche. Entwined, yet very much separate." He frowned his forehead in thought noting the contradictory statement. He continued to hold her gaze as he did to everyone. "The colours are mixed, but with a practice and patience there are many Vulcan techniques called, Wh'ltri that can be done to separate the emotions and memories. It allows us to control and compartmentalize everything. It's a misnomer, you see, that Vulcans suppress or eliminate emotions. They control their memories, feelings and the entropy that happens from emotions." He rose his rounded eyebrows as a thought occurred to him. "It makes me wonder what effect it might have on Trills if they were to practice Wh'ltri techniques."

Stace's wide eyes looked almost exasperated. "I mean no disrespect to you, Mister Beaumont," she said softly with a smile, "but I have enough to contend with with my own cultural ways of placating my 'personalities'. It's not that I don't think it could be beneficial, only when you become Joined you're not always aware of the work involved once you're accepted. The Initiate workload is heralded to be one of the toughest challenges an Unjoined Trill will ever undertake. But they never quite prepare you for the aftermath; the trips back the homeworld for checkups; the constant medicals once the Joining takes place. It's daunting." She paused and then smiled more widely. "How does being half-Vulcan affect your abilities, if you know? Are your telepathic abilities and emotional control impaired? You don't seem like an ordinary Vulcan to me."

K'os nodded slowly, mimicking Stace's smile. It was a nice smile and to K'os it seemed to make her eyes soft and kind."Hyperemotionalism, is the official term. It affects many Vulcan-Human hybrids. As part of the hybridization process a lot of genetic manipulation comes into play to make the embryo viable. Unfortunately, this means not all hybrids are the same. I have the ability to control my limbic system. I can single out and cultivate whatever emotion I wish with a little bit of concentration and I can affect the way the limbic system communicates with my autonomic nervous system."

K'os knew he was speaking to a scientist, a very old one at that, and knew he didn't have to give the simple answer. He was comfortable knowing she'd follow what he said so continued. "Mainly the regulatory input to my parasympathetic system. Which means I can, like most Vulcans, disconnect from my emotions denying them any sort of physiological response or I can use it to store extremely detailed memories." K'os wrinkled his forehead in thought. "But I am impaired, as you say. I can only control my emotions for a limited time before I exhaust myself. I've learned when to use Wh'ltri techniques, and human meditation techniques to conserve my strength, but I'm stuck with the overflow of emotions that flood my brain constantly in between. I've learned to cope, and just like anyone else I have bad days and good. I try and limit how often I alter my emotions now, as it can have a jarring effect on my mood which I've noticed can put some people off. So I don't appear too..." K'os waved his hand as he thought of the word, "...manic."

"It sounds a little like recreational drug consumption," Stace replied with a flick of her eyebrow in an honest tone. "Hitting the high and then dropping to the low. And it sounds like you're on the path to sobriety." She winked a little and then broke into a smile. "I'm only teasing. I know only too well the pitfalls of my cultural heritage. And I can't imagine how a Human/Trill hybrid would cope with the being Joined. I know that Lieutenant Commander Dea Mialin, our Chief Flight Officer managed it. But she's part Betazoid. What was your upbringing like, if you don't mind my prying?"

K'os had instinctively mimicked the wink to assure her that he knew she was teasing. He broke out into his own dimpled version of a smile. "Confusing." K'os answered at first as he formed his thoughts. "Like all Vulcan hybrid children, a Vulcan education is the default recommendation. I spent my childhood there. I learned the language and attempted to assimilate myself into their culture."

K'os sighed a little as the emotions of childhood hovered below the surface of his thoughts. He could remember his time there as clearly as he could remember what he'd had for breakfast yesterday. "I didn't adapt well, and it was decided that it was best to pursue education on Earth. Which," K'os chuckled and scratched the back of his neck self-consciously, "was no easier I'll admit. Vulcan education teaches you to detach from emotions and make your thoughts rational by not allowing emotions to dictate your actions. With emotionally driven species, like Humans, everything they say or do is filtered through their emotions. They perceive everything through this 'lens' as it were. It was hard at first to adapt socially. It's funny, hybrids are taught that to be completely free of identity issues, you should adopt the culture of one or the other. For me, I just don't feel at home in either."

"So, Mr. Beaumont," Stace remarked with a sly but affectionate smile creeping across her face as she leant back in her chair, folding her hands neatly behind her head, "here you find yourself; a nomad of the stars. A makeshift home and family on a tiny ship searching the universe for answers we haven't yet asked. A familiar story for those who don't quite fit in." She paused and then leant back in, placing her cool hand on top of his for a second before patting it and releasing. "It's a secret we all hold dear, I think, those of us who live slightly out of phase with the norm." She scrunched up her nose as she entered them both into a personal conspiracy. "I know that story only too well. So you shouldn't ever feel alone in that.

K'os smiled at Stace's words. He nodded his head, thinking. Memories drifted to his mind and it made different emotions rise simultaneously. He nodded again slowly giving himself another moment to sort them out. Just then the contrast of the cool hand briefly on his overly warm hand grounded him to the moment. His eyes were slightly wet as he said, "Commander Stace, have you always had a way with words, or is that Norvi's influence?" His hand went to his face briefly to check if he was crying. Satisfied that he was composed, he flashed her a thin-lipped dimpled grin.

"My, Mr. Beaumont... is that a compliment?" She grinned widely, thankful of the praise but then flushed a little out of embarrassment. Her cheeks bloomed from her freckled, alabaster sheen but then diminished to their usual hue. "My first host was an artist. Rather solitary with her ageing talent and took to writing poetry in the wilderness. And my previous was the captain. Rather adept at public speaking, if he did say so himself. So I can only hope that I marry them together well; bringing the two threads of myself to weave my own tapestry. Science can render itself so dull in its language. I suppose I try to see the beauty of its surround." She paused and then stifled a yawn. "Talking about myself does seem to tire me so, so for that I can thank you. But I have wasted enough time of yours for my own selfish gain."

"I can't think of any better way to waste time. You can share your words and the woven tapestry of your past anytime you wish." He reached out and shook her hand. Not so much shook, but took her cool hand into both of his for a brief moment before letting it drop. "Thank you for those words, truly. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that. Have a good sleep, Commander."

A warm and lingering smile split across the Trill's mouth as she nodded her thanks. "And my door is always open should a wandering soul ever be in need to anchor-up at a harbour somewhere." She paused and then rose from her seat, tilting her head in a knowing expression. "The rolling seas can seem quite inviting with the sand still warm on your feet; but take it from a seasoned and elderly traveller: When the horizon lies flat around your boat, it's still and silent circumference ringed about your soul like a prison of lapping waves, the ground beneath you and a hearty fire warming your hands as you break bread with friendly smiles can seem a welcome retreat. Don't lose sight of those harbours, my friend. That's where you'll head for when the thunder crashes around your ears. You'll find one in my office. Or in the Mess around a mug of beer." She winced another smile and lingered a glance before heading for the door and leaving the engine room to her old memories.

OFF:

Lieutenant Commander Norvi Stace
Commanding Officer / Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

&

Petty Officer 3rd Class K'os Beaumont
Engineer's Mate
USS Galileo

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