Don't Judge a Book...

Posted on 07 Jun 2013 @ 6:39pm by Petty Officer 1st Class Gabriel Stark & Marine Captain Ray Fernandez (Ret.)
Edited on on 08 Jun 2013 @ 9:57am

2,810 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 2, Mess Hall Bar
Timeline: MD 10 2300 HRS

ON:

Cyrus was still brooding, so Ray decided he might address another little issue that he saw brewing in this area. "Computer...where the hell is this Gabriel Stark?" He grumbled, wincing slightly as his leg gave a twinge of pain from over use. He put it aside and growled the pain away.

Gabriel had a line of glasses on his table in front of him where he sat in the lounge. Each was small, shot glass size. There were seven in all, each with a different drink in, and each a different colour. They had been lined up in order of their colour in the rainbow. 'Red' and 'Orange' had already been knocked back and enjoyed with a sigh, and he was in the process of downing 'Yellow' when the doors opened and Ray entered.

As Ray made his way to the young man and smiled. It was hard to appreciate an ass hole, Ray knew that more than anyone, but there was certain things that he wanted to clear up for the young man...things that he might not ever realize.

It wasn't hard to find Stark and he even easier to plop himself down and break into a large grin. "Hello PO. You know who I am?" He asked.

Gabriel set the glass down on the table, tilting his head as he watched him with dark eyes, lips pursed as he considered. "Fernandez?" he motioned to him. "I've seen you around, Captain," he nodded, his photographic memory didn't fail him.

Ray nodded in approval. "Thought you might remember. How've you been, son? you still applying for the TRT test?"

"Yeah," Gabriel gave a smile at that, his so often annoyed or angry features softened and with it, making him look his age and almost shy. "I - thought I'd been knocked off the list at one point. I didn't realise that only non security staff had been interviewed. I thought it meant I was out of the running." He wasn't quite sure why it mattered. Well, that wasn't strictly true. Despite the trouble he could find himself in, he actually did care about his career. And more, he cared about his line of work. He wanted to be good at something, and he knew he could do well with a weapon or a fight.

Ray nodded. "Good, good. I don't know what would have brought that idea on Mister Stark." He smiled quickly. "You're a good man." He looked up suddenly. "You weren't at the ceremony the other day. Were you workin'? I understand there was still a security shift on during that time." He drawled easily. And leaned back in the chair.

"I took the Bridge shift while the others were at the memorial service. Someone had to," Gabriel replied, lightly, carefully. He'd promised Theron he wouldn't make it an issue or crusade, and that meant not bringing attention to the fact he hadn't been at the service. On the other hand, it seemed like Ray had noticed that by himself. He gave an inward grimace.

Ray simply nodded and looked at Stark for several moments. "I see. " He paused, again for several moments before speaking once more. "You didn't like Stone." It wasn't a question and Ray hadn't formed it like one. "No one told me anything boy, your face gives it away." Ray explained. "And it's telling me that I've touched a soft spot and it's one that you don't really enjoy talking about it. " He smiled slightly. "makes you a bit angry." Ray added without sarcasm, just fact.

Gabriel frowned at that, deeply as he watched the other man. His eyes were dark as he considered him. "Are you looking in my head or something?" he asked, and with no small degree of suspicion.

"It's the way you purse your mouth and the cautious way you approached your answer that gave it away." He explained, thinking it prudent to tell the young PO he wasn't a telepath.

Gabriel relaxed a little at that, letting out a long breath, picking up 'Green' and knocking it back. "It's tricky," he admitted. "Because you're right. But I also said I wouldn't make an issue out of being on the bridge rather than in the service."

"I don't see any issues here." Fernandez commented. "All I see is two people sitting down talking. " He grinned mischievously. " All you did was take a shift for someone, don't see the harm in that." Ray said, though his tone clearly stated he knew why Stark took the shift. "I was just wondering why the sudden switch." He splayed his hands wide and continued. "It's not really any of my business, I'm just an instructor, but I may know a thing or two about bad bosses." His ending chuckle was one of an old man remembering the many equivalent situations of his time.

Gabriel studied him for a long moment, as if weighing it all up. "He was a bastard," he finally said, shaking his head as he went for the next shot with a frown. "You can't go to someone's service thinking they're a bastard. A dead person's last service should be full of people thinking good things about them, not full of people thinking that he was a bastard."

Ray didn't laugh, he didn't even crack a smile as he listened to the PO. "A good philosophy." He remarked quietly after several seconds. "And you're right Stone was a bastard.
"Did you know why he was a bastard Gabriel?" Ray asked, drawing the question out some.

Gabriel sighed as he sat back, shaking his head with a frown. "No, and I have to admit, I don't really care. I've met loads of bastards. I was raised with some of them. Hell, I'm one too. And you hear all sorts of excuses, but you know what? You know what makes a person a bastard? The fact they let themselves be one."

Ray listened intently before responding. "You're right...to a point, some people let themselves be bastards, because they want to be one." He couldn't dispute the point. "It's funny, I remember one such Captain I served with...he didn't like that I would question his orders all the time...his word was law. " He chuckled. "I told him where he could stuff his law and his words could take a hike.
"I ended up in the brig for about a week." He sighed.

"Sounds like it might have been worth it," Gabriel replied with an arched eyebrow, shaking his head as he let out a long breath. He wasn't sure he'd have done well in the situation.

"You're right, of course...that people let themselves act a certain way." He held up a single finger. "And he was, Stone was a straight up ass hat." He moved his cane forward so it rested against one of his knees. "But certain people, good people, lose themselves, don't realize how far the fall." Ray rested a hand on his cane. "Ever lose yourself Gabriel? Due to something you felt you couldn't control?" Ray's eyes narrowed and his stare could have pierced a Starship bulkhead.

Gabriel looked firmly away from the gaze, not watching him as his jaw tensed. He took the 'Blue' shot, knocking it back quickly to settle his thoughts. "Yes, but the difference is I know it's my own fault."

" Stone lost his entire team, to Cardassians...he watched them die Gabriel. " He stated bluntly, without emotion. "And when they tortured him to the point of insanity they forced him to choose between the only survivor of his away team and the federation. I don't know if you know much about cardassian torture mister Stark. " He leaned forward. "But it isn't pretty. And he was there for somewhere around five years? Something like that."

When he was finally rescued, he was tried as a war criminal for divulging information to the enemy and was confined to yet another prison.
"the only reason he survived is because he fell into the rules and regulations of Starfleet, and then they stabbed him in the back. He single handedly witnessed more death than my entire career in that Cardassian prison. " He said all of this without an intonation, any feeling.

"He was in a psych ward, and when they deemed him fit he had daemons...lots of them, he lost the ability to be empathetic, but one thing rang clear in his mind: he wasn't going to let any more people die because of his actions, that his life was meaningless compared to everyone else." He finished and leaned back, his fingers drumming a random beat on the oak cane.

"I'm not trying to make this man a martyr...he shouldn't have been put back on duty. but have you ever not been in control of yourself? Have you done things that you knew were wrong, but couldn't stop because of an action..." He narrowed his eyes once more. "Or an emotion?" He said flatly.

"I am nothing like that man," Gabriel whispered harshly, shaking his head with a frown, breathing harder, his skin flushing at the words. "I've done stupid things, but I know they're my fault. I don't blame them on a bad few years. People are responsible for their own behaviour. If you let yourself blame your attacker, you sell out the cheap way and let them own your life!"

"Tell that to the marines that burn out, or the Star Fleet personnel whose minds break because of the horrors of war mister Stark." Ray replied in a calm tones. "Don't think I forgive him for how he treated his team." Ray was quick to add. "Don't think for a second that his actions were acceptable, but what he tried to do...his goal of having the best trained team of Security so the horrors he lived through isn't any less noble despite the anger and bitterness that he harbored for everyone. Ever stop to think what would have happened to you had the cards fallen differently. "Ever hear the saying, Don't judge a book by it's cover?" He sighed. "This is the perfect example. The cover of Stones book was rippedm tattered and torn, no one wanted to sit down and read it. But what if everyone had?" He asked philosophically. "Could he have changed? Maybe...but would people have tried to help him see they weren't berating him at every decision...maybe, could they have convinced him to seek his help willingly... " Ray shrugged. "We'll never know, what we do know is that he sacrificed himself for the rest of his team, in a way...it's a form of redemption."

He looked at Gabriel for a second before adding. "You aren't Stone...you're right." He said simply. He knew he was edging the man on, but Ray knew this was the important part now. "I have one more question Gabriel. What would you have done differently, if you lived the way he had. The Torture, the death, the utter obliteration of your entire life...could you say you would have turned out differently?" He looked hard. "I don't want an angry answer...I want the truth. Would you have turned out any different than Jeremy Stone had you lived the way he had? Do you honestly think that you could have survived unscarred?"

Ray waited.

Gabriel's hand tightened on his glass, his jaw tight and breath caught in his chest, trying to keep calm. Gabriel had his own demons from his past to battle, the last thing he wanted was to think about someone elses. He shook his head slowly, tense and skin flushed with heat. "You know what I do know? I would never shame myself by playing at doing something I wasn't good at. He was a bad officer. A bad officer. He was always going to end up to dead. Bad officers do. You know what I'm most pleased about? That he didn't get the chance to kill half of our department with his bad judgement."

Ray waited for him to finish...Then narrowed his eyes dangerously..."Do you honestly think that you your anger issues bother me, boy " Ray growled. " You think your anger is bad, you haven't seen mine, so I suggest you suck back like you have those drinks and reload before you talk like that again. I asked you a simple question that you don't want to think about. I read your file Stark, I know why you went to prison and I know why you lost your mind on your superior." He paused. "And I know that you got lucky that you're so damned smart. You make all these judgement calls and you can't see the forest through the damn trees." He leaned forward until there noses were almost touching. "Answer. My. Question." He growled again

" Or do you not have the guts to do a little personal reflection." He was playing with fire, but the veteran was hoping that Stark would realize what was at work here and answer.

Anger surged through the young man, and Gabriel's breath came quick and heavy. His hand tightened even harder on the glass, to try and resist the urge to throw it. The strain on it was too much, and the small glass broke in his hand. With nothing to grip through his anger, he slammed the palm of his hand down on the table top instead, staring straight back at the man who was pushing him. "Don't talk about me like you know me, you don't know a damn thing! You want to know my answer? Yeah, it would have turned me into a bastard, but you know what? I would have had the balls to stay the hell away from the fleet afterwards! Instead of being too selfish to admit I was doing more harm than good by coming back! He was never about making things better! You speak like he was on some kind of crusade to right the wrongs that broke him! Bollocks! That man didn't keep working in the fleet to try and make things better! He kept serving to try and prove to himself that he still had the balls for it! It was one huge, selfish ego trip to try and prove how good he still was! But he wasn't, making him the most dangerous kind of officer there is! He was here to try and be better than everyone else, not to make everyone else better! How can you not see that!" Gabriel pushed himself up to stand, so fast the chair fell behind him. "Don't ever talk to me like you know the first thing about me again."

Ray got up and drained his drink in a single gulp. Stared at Gabriel for what seemed a long time and reached down underneath the table. Scowling the combat veteran looked hard at the Petty Officer and suddenly put two beer down onto the table in front of Stark. He broke into a grin. "Congratulations Petty Officer Stark, you just passed your first TRT test." He moved to the side of the table and chuckled.

Gabriel shook his head with utter confusion, his breath shaking as he watched him with dark, narrowed eyes. "What are you talking about?"

" It takes more than a big gun and a sharp eye to be part of a Special Task group mister Stark." Ray began. "It takes an honesty and a courage that goes above and beyond the regular call of duty. By admitting that you would have ended up like Stone, but would have known to get the help you needed shows your willingness to do what you need to do for yourself and what you need to for the betterment of your fellow man." Ray moved away from the table and snatch up his cane.

Still smiling, Ray gestured with his cane to Gabriel's hand. "You might want to get that checked out before you show up for your testing day. Hate to think you failed your accuracy test because you broke a glass, eh?" He chuckled again and made for the exit. "Enjoy the drinks...and the waiter there has orders to bring you whatever you're hoping for." He called over his shoulder

Gabriel wasn't sure whether to sigh with relief or break another glass. Or whether to add Ray to his bloody list of bastards for that matter. He let out a long, shaking breath, trying to calm himself down, motioning for the promised drinks. He could at least clean the place out of drink before following his advice.

OFF:

Marine Captain Ray Fernandez
Former MCO of the USS Fitzgerald
TRT Instructor
Starfleet Academy, Earth

PO2 Gabriel Stark
Security/Tactical
USS Galileo

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