We Had Fun

Posted on 29 Jan 2016 @ 6:07am by Lieutenant Benice Gyce Ph.D.

479 words; about a 2 minute read

Gyce sat in her bedroom, in her quarters of the ship. She was positioned right in front of her desk. Tan slacks and a blue tank top covered her conservatively. Her gold religious earring was on the left lobe and her face appeared very somber as the holocamera caught her expressions.

Those brown eyes were wet as she fought hard not to cry. It was a difficult thing to get out, after all.

"Computer, begin recording."

The computer beeped to announce the recording had started. Gyce looked grimly to the camera and sighed before she started in quiet tones.

"I don't know how to say this in front of you, mostly because I have fallen so hard in love with you that I fear I would never be able to say this the proper way - Over a candlelit dinner, holding your hand to comfort you and tell you I hold no ill feelings toward you..." Gyce began apologetically. "Unfortunately, these past few weeks, I get the feeling I'm no more than a fun plaything for you. And that's not a bad thing exactly, but..."

There was a burdened sigh, then Gyce looked away a second to blink away the tears and shame. How she wished things were different. It felt like, in some ways, Gyce was about to shatter Lirha too.

"...But I cannot shake the secret you withheld, in the sequence of events that played out. Had you trusted me sooner, I would have been there for you - I still offer you my hand of friendship always... Things I did... Lack of interest you have in me outside of sex... In the end, we aren't soulmates Lirha. We're bedmates - and that's not the type of person I want for my companion."

Gyce looked away again for several pauses to cry silently. Mostly into her pale shaking hands.

"Kosst! I wish I had never opened myself up to you. My focus for my job was much better, yet had I not taken a risk with you, you'd not of inspired me to find better options for my leg..."

Gyce rubbed it with tremoring hands. Nerves shot, if anything. Her eyes darted to the floor, signaling her shame of how this entire holodiary was going.

"I know you will hate me for how this was done... But I would rather we face the reality than hurt each other further by continuing this farce of a relationship. For I will always love you. I only wish you had loved me the same."

Gyce leaned forward and turned the camera off. Then sent it via a file to Lirha's mail. This was not true closure though. She felt dirty, angry with herself, but most of all, she was saddened even more for ripping a hole in her heart. A self-inflicted wound that would likely never heal properly.

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