Tribbles, Trills, and Turmoil, Oh My!

Posted on 28 Jul 2014 @ 7:28pm by Lieutenant Asahi Kita

471 words; about a 2 minute read

Chief Engineer's Log, Stardate :: ...

One of these days I'm just gonna not get so annoyed at that.

So, Log. Tribbles. Tribbles. Tribbles. Not some weird species of ant, or a man-eating lemur or something. Tribbles.

I told them tribbles were a bad idea for a pet. No one ever listens to the engineer. 'You're gonna overheat the plasma injectors at the rate we're pushing our warp.' 'You do know know that's not what the antimatter supply is for, right?' 'Could you tell the pilot to ease up? The magnetic constriction on our segment's not doing what it's supposed to. I'd say it's actually amplifying our antimatter output, which could turn us into a giant ass bomb if we don't slow down.'

Tribbles though.

I thought the Fargo and her crew were a bit nuts. Granted, the Fargo's mission statement was a bit more... open-ended, but yeesh. Tribbles of all things?

I just received the best idea from one of the scientists about how to keep the tribbles at bay. I'm happy he exists too, or else I would have been drowning in fuzz in my office.

Tribbles, I swear...

Don't squeak at me, you know I don't like you. If I didn't think it'd give him indigestion, I'd have Hojo eat you.

Sassy ass tribbles.

I'm just glad there hasn't been a 'tribble rights' uprising. They're like Earth deer; if there's too many, some of them have to go or they'll end up polluting the ecosystem they're in. That's probably why the Klingons hated them so damn much.

... I wonder if there's a precedent for this. Has to be, tribbles aren't all that uncommon. They're just not things I've bothered looking up before. Like Trills. Absolutely fascinating, and I'd totally want to learn more. The only difference being that Trills don't spontaneously reproduce if you leave candy out for too long. I hope they don't anyway. Maybe that's something to ask-no, that sounds completely insensitive.

But there's a lot for me to learn, and there's a Trill willing to teach me. She's all pretty and stuff too. 'Pretty and stuff,' what am I, thirteen? Hojo, how old am I?

..... Right. Talking to my dog. The tribbles are gonna make me lose it.

Maybe I could talk to Stace over dinner, when everything's settled and the first thought on our minds isn't 'goddamn stubborn Cardassians' or 'we can't lose another one.'

I feel awful. I don't even remember the guy's name.

Now I just feel awful because I don't feel worse about it.

Being in charge of anything is hard. I don't know how Lirha or Holliday do it.

... Tch, the tribbles are revolting again. Kita out.

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