Failure

Posted on 22 Mar 2014 @ 5:18pm by Commander Allyndra illm Warraquim

300 words; about a 2 minute read

"Computer open personal log"

[Log open recording]

"Well here I am again, off on another adventure. It is intriguing. I think I am looking forward but sometimes I wonder to myself what am I really doing here?

Oh, the circumstances are well known and the why's. I enjoyed the time away, and the trip home was interesting if not totally productive. The treatment with Kohl sort of worked, but each cell division the genes either repressed or were expelled. I feel like I failed with him. There was so much hope and yet in the end it was a failure.

The time in Philadelphia was interesting and I thought perhaps things would be moving forward but so far Lamar is still working through something else, and perhaps while it was a fling I have not heard much since. Another failure on my part.

Then there is my new assistant chief, Olsam Mott. He seems to be almost everyone's best friend suddenly. I can not help that, it is part of my heritage being somewhat too aloof, too remote and maybe just again, no one seems to be able to relate. We are so different in some ways and yet they do not realize our hearts break and yearn just as much.

Home does not feel like home, and here does not feel like home either and so much still seems a failure in my life.
Sometimes I would like nothing more than to get to one of those remaining Fold ships and go as far as I could possibly go in it.

Ah well, maybe next time, right now I must on my calm and brave doctor's face and smile and be polite and the pillar of strength that is expected of me.

Computer close log for now."

[Log closed]

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