Little Lion Man

Posted on 30 Sep 2013 @ 4:20pm by Petty Officer 1st Class Victarion Jaqen

254 words; about a 1 minute read

This is...Victarion Jaqen. I am the Captain's Yeoman. And I am...I am...

A coward. I am a coward. Perhaps it was my beliefs that got in the way. I am a pacifist. But it is not only that. I was too frightened to do anything with the Borg. Even as they assimilated my Captain, the woman I serve...I did nothing. I hid. Whatever courage I had left seemed to have escaped me. I really messed up. And I cannot forgive myself. No matter what I try, I cannot forgive myself.

It feels as if I am slowly drowning. I do not know if I can resurface. I do not know if I can...if I can go on like this. I jump at the smallest noise. I cannot sleep. I cannot think. All I can do is feel, and I am so tired of feeling. I am so tired.

I fear I am becoming something I never set out to be. That I will snap and do something I will regret. Run away. Or worse. Break every promise I have made myself.

Is this what it feels like to be losing your mind? Or your soul. I do not know anymore. I just pray by the gods that I am stronger than I feel right now. That I am able to hold on through this. Whatever happens...

Whatever happens, I am sorry. For not being stronger for my Captain. Because I am not as brave as I was in the start.

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