Overfamiliar? Oh Honey, it's over-for-me.

Posted on 29 Apr 2018 @ 8:34pm by Lieutenant Lake ir-Llantrisant

973 words; about a 5 minute read

Circa Episode 15, “Emanation”, MD 106

Previously on “Overfamiliar”

Clearing his throat, Callin tried to focus on his answer, though Lake wasn't making it easy on him, "Yes. Well...maybe. Yes." It took him another moment to focus his mind, withdraw within himself, shutting out the wonderful background sensations of the minds around him, and a couple of long, steady breaths. At least Lake seemed interested in the science, and that Callin was always glad to share, "You see, a star like this emits an incredible amount of radiation, and that can be dangerous to inhabited planets in nearby systems. We're going to find that this system is full of bare, irradiated rocks for planets if even that much. If we can figure out how and why the change occurs, perhaps we'll be able to predict it."

Excitedly, Lake said, "Okay. There. There. That makes sense." He didn't raise his voice, exactly, but there was a clear intonation somewhere between eureka and victory. Lowering his voice even more, Lake said, "You always know how to make mysteries meaningful to me," and as he did he nuzzled his nose into Callin's shoulder. Almost as soon as he'd done it, Lake questioned the level of affection he was showing this young ensign he'd just met. Drastically, Lake took two sudden steps back from the other man.

"Whoa." It was a word he'd picked up on Earth that Callin rather liked. A stupid thing to pop into his head to say, but for a second he didn't know any other word to use. That move, those words, they had been unexpected, but in his surprise he was out there with his mind and senses once more. Running blind into that was...Callin suddenly realized his heart was racing, his face red, and his chest hurt. Ah, breathing. That started and he began to recover. "That's probably the nicest thank you I've gotten." Ever. Callin watched Lake intently, not moving from his chair, half a smile on his lips and all cautious. "Pleased to meet you too." More pleased than he'd say, but very confused.

And now the continuation…


[ON]

Lake ir-Llantrisant's Personal Log, Supplemental

What did I do? What was I thinking? What is even wrong with me?

I smelled him. I leaned in close and I nuzzled against that Betazoid Ensign's neck and I drank in the scent of him. Helpless. I'm always hopeless and helpless. I was drawn into him as helplessly as a shuttlepod falling into a black hole. Not even light can escape from the event-horizon of a black hole. Did my measly self-control even have a chance of asserting itself? Was there any chance I wasn't going to lean into him? Was there any alternate universe where I didn't make that choice?

I doubt it.

Notice, Computer, that I referred to him as that Betazoid Ensign. I call him that not because it's my endearing nickname for him. No. I call him that because I literally don't know his name. I met that young man for the first time, and I stuck my nose in his neck without even asking for his name.

...Now, I can't pretend this is the first time I've said that sentence but it's the first time I've had to say it at work.

I barely-- I barely got out of that cadet cruise with my commission intact. With the way I lost my patience with the medical cadets, the way I threw my body at the security cadets, and the breakdown I had in a counselling session, I expected to walk away with a reprimand on my service jacket, if not the rank of Ensign. But I did it, I survived the USS Hathaway by the skin of my teeth, and with a promotion to boot. I don't imagine I can be so lucky again. The USS Schofield will be my downfall, and my Achilles' heel has black eyes and cheekbones that could cut open a vein.

If I don't know what I was thinking when I met him --when I met that Betazoid ensign for the very first time-- I need to decode what I was feeling. What was I feeling?

I mean...

Aside from the obvious.

There was arousal in there, but it was more than that. There was safety and reassurance. There was an overriding sense of familiarity. As if I had done this all before, as if I already knew his body intimately. As if I already knew what his skin would smell like.

And of course I knew. Because he looks just like Kellin. That Betazoid Ensign looks just like Kellin, before Kellin died. Really, he's younger than that. He looks like Kellin from before we were married, before I even met Kellin.

I can't say the resemblance is uncanny. I don't have to suspect this Betazoid is an alternate universe duplicate of Kellin. I mean, the resemblance wouldn't have fooled Kellin's mother, but the resemblance is there. It sure fooled me. It sure fooled my body.

I don't know what this means? Is this a sign from the Universe? Am I supposed to learn that Kellin is at peace now? Or does this mean he can't rest? Has Kellin been reincarnated? Or sent back in time and reincarnated into the body of this--

No, I know what this means. It means I need to avoid this Betazoid boy. It means I have to make sure I never, ever, never see him again. The ship isn't very big, but I won't be on this mission for long.

At least not until he's a witness at my disciplinary hearing. At least not until then.

Computer, end log.

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