Mirror Mirror [Private Confidential] 18+

Posted on 28 Apr 2018 @ 7:38pm by

343 words; about a 2 minute read

Computer begin recording...

Its been several months now since I left my old life behind me, trading it for what some might consider the cowards way out. I think more often than not in telling the crew what it was I did, especially poor Luke but would they accept my reasoning? Would he? I drove the knife into her innocent little heart without a moment's hesitation so why now do I doubt myself? I often wonder if I should have tried to save her, she was, after all, me. I know I would have wanted to fight to the bitter end but she was so broken I don't know who would have come out the other side if anyone at all.

Yes.

I did the right thing.

Yet why don't I tell someone? Why can't I look them in the face whenever she is mentioned or whenever Luke looks at me the same way I know he used to look at her. It kills me to know I will never be her and he only looks at me like that because I am in fact her.

I should tell someone, I need to tell someone and yet the only person who knew left me abandoned me here alone. So yeah, I guess I have trust issues too. I'm going crazy, I'm hiding it well but I think soon people will see between the cracks, the drinking and the... drugs are whats keeping me sane but how long will that last? I can already tell I'm hooked but they help with the pain.

I killed the real Abbey Wyatt.

Wow.

It feels good to say that out loud but damn whos even hear to listen to me. Just these four fracking walls on this fracking ship. I hate this ship, I hate this universe and I hate her too for being so weak.

Abbey fracking Wyatt. - Why did I kill you? Because it killed me too.

Screw this, I need a drink.

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