Into the mind

Posted on 22 Jan 2022 @ 7:16pm by Ensign Amanda Turell & LuAnn Lovegood PhD
Edited on on 23 Jan 2022 @ 8:44pm

1,288 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Episode 18 - Cold Station 31
Location: USS Galileo-A - Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD 04, 1630 hrs

[ON]

Patrolling around deck 3 Amanda was making her way back towards the security office when she passed the counsellors office, she'd passed by it several times already wanting to enter but changing her mind at the last moment, she knew if she didn't go in voluntarily someone from medical would make her go in.

Eventually after one last go around and some psyching herself up she tapped the chime.

"Come in!" LuAnn called. Soft music played in the background as she walked around her desk to greet the new arrival.

Amanda entered the room and offered a small smile to the woman she encountered "Miss Lovegood?"

"Please call me LuAnn. I like to be less formal." She smiled. "Can I get you something from the replicator? And is the music acceptable or would you prefer I turn it off?"

"I'm on duty for a while longer so no thanks for for now. I'm required to arrange an appointment for a session with you." Amanda said trying to keep things as official as she could for now.

"I'm free right now, and you can have a counseling session while on duty." LuAnn said, hoping to make her feel more comfortable. "Please, sit down and make yourself at home."

"Alright.." Amanda sat down and made herself as at home as she could in front of someone that could easily stop her from being on duty and could easily read how tense she was.

"So," LuAnn said, going back around her desk. "Let's start with you telling me your name. I assume you're in security?"

"What gave it away? the phaser?" Amanda asked. "Ensign Turell, Amanda."

"The phaser, and the uniform." LuAnn grinned. "Not everyone gets to carry a weapon on starship. Although you might be able to keep a trained badger."

"That would be an interesting sight." Amanda remarked.

LuAnn smiled. "Wouldn't it? So, tell me about you."

"Not much to tell," Amanda started. "Dad was a marine during the war, older sister was a marine during the war, could shoot a phaser by the time I could walk. Was living life nicely on the Exeter before I fucked up."

LuAnn nodded in understanding. "Tell me in your own words how and why you messed up and how it changed the course of your life." By the way she was talking, Amanda clearly thought of this incident as life-altering.

"We were chasing down some pirates that had been attacking cargo ships in the area, me and a security team boarded their ship." Amanda began recalling the events. "They made a fight of it, I missed a guy, he didn't miss me. Nearly blew my arm off."

The counselor nodded. "I've never met a pirate, but from what I hear, they can be tricky." She cocked her head to one side and looked at the other woman. "So, apart from missing a pirate and getting injured, how did this mess up your time on the Exeter?"

"I got 'beached' for a year." Amanda said "'Nearly blew my arm off' wasn't me exaggerating, I passed out pretty quick after I got shot then woke up two weeks later in a starbase where they kept me asleep so they could rebuild my shoulder joint."

"I can see time off to recover," LuAnn said. "But a year seems like a long time. How did you feel about it?"

"Pretty damm pissed off, I messed up and after that I got to sit useless for a year while I learn to us my arm again." Amanda said, the first few months of her recovery were not pleasant at all.

"Everyone messes up," LuAnn said. "The important part is how you deal with it. In your case, you also had the recovery."

She looked at the security officer for several moments, considering her next comment. "You may not have messed up. The pirate may have been good enough to get the drop on you. Some of them are, you know. If not, they wouldn't be so much trouble."

Amanda shook her head. "No, I messed up, hitting targets was my thing. Best marksman on the Exeter, best marksman in the task force."

"Nobody is perfect," LuAnn said. "You can train and train, but eventually you'll miss the target, or lose to someone better, or just have a bad day. I can't say if you messed up or if the other guy was just better, or luckier. But I an say that it happens every day. The question is, what did you learn from it?"

"That I wasn't good enough." Amanda replied. "I messed up, nearly got myself killed, could have gotten the rest of the away team killed too."

"How many people do you know who've never made a mistake?" LuAnn asked. "Who've never messed up?"

"Several but far more who have made mistakes, some really bad ones." Amanda said anticipating what LuAnn would probably say next.

The counselor laughed. "I bet if you ask them, they'll tell you they aren't perfect, either. I don't know of anyone who hasn't made more mistakes than they can count."

"Nobody is perfect but I was trained to be as good as I can be." Amanda said, she took her type II phaser out its holster and rolled it around in her hands. "Told Lt Rice I could shoot the ears off a ferengi at over 1k with a phaser, that was no idle boast."

"You also need to allow yourself to fail. Sometimes you learn best from failure." LuAnn watched Amanda for a moment. "So, what have you learned?"

"Nobody is perfect and I shouldn't try to be." Amanda said though her voice sounded extremely disheartened.

"But nobody really likes to fail, right? Especially if we think it's a big failure."

"Especially one that nearly got me killed." Amanda replied. "After they let me back on limited duty they put me on the Trial, they said it would be a nice easy assignment to ease me back into things...... you know how that ended up."

LuAnn nodded. "I do. And now you're on the Galileo. That indicates that you've proven yourself. Captain Saalm has an excellent crew. You deserve to be here."

"Or that all the decent spots on the Kali or Langrage were already taken by more able crew." Amanda countered, she'd hoped to get assigned to the Kali

"I don't know. I didn't have a chance to visit the Kali," LuAnn said. "Although based on the previous assignment, the Galileo was the ship to be on."

"Maybe, I don't think I've proven myself though, I'm not at my best and I'm not sure I will be again." Amanda sighed slightly. "I think I'm going to be keeping you busy for some time."

"I've got the time," LuAnn said. "I'm here to listen, or I'm here to help, whatever you need."

Amanda squirmed slightly, she may have implied she wanted to spend more time with LuAnn but in reality it was the last thing she wanted. "I should get back to my patrol."

"Of course. I didn't mean spend more time now. I meant we'll need to have more talks every so often, just to monitor your progress," the counselor said. "I think we've done enough for now, and you clearly need to be done with this, right?" She smiled. "Just think on what we've discussed and I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

Having given her excuse to leave Amanda practically bolted for the doorway.

[OFF]

--

Ensign Amanda Turell
Security Officer
USS Galileo-A
[PNPC Mimi]

LuAnn Lovegood
Counselor
USS Galileo-A
[PNPC Sandoval]

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