Pointless Evaluation?

Posted on 29 Nov 2017 @ 5:46pm by Rear Admiral Nathan West & Commander Allyndra illm Warraquim & Cadet Sophomore Grade Bethany Armstrong

2,607 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Episode 15 - Emanation
Location: Admiral West's Office
Timeline: MD 32, 1330 Hrs

ON:

Although the Kobayashi Maru exam had entered two hours prior, Jennifer Armstrong's temper had not cooled in the least. Inside, she still seethed with rage over the apparent setup brilliantly staged by the Operations team at Starfleet Academy. Their reputation of perfection was on the line, a reputation no mere Cadet could be allowed to smear. As she continued running the scenario through her head, she did see some merit in Commander T'Ping's final explanation of her failure, but she also knew it was a cover to save face.

The Academy was hellbent on making her look like a fool, hoping she would quit. A meeting with Admiral West was the next step.

As she approached the Admiral's office, she felt her rage and courage displayed in the exam room fade. Her nerves began to overcome her like a Tsunami devours a coastal city. She began to fidget with her fingers as she quickly made her way through the silent corridor. Cadets did not venture in this wing very often. The administrative wing of Starfleet Academy was the domain of the senior officers within the institution. A Cadet in this area was never a good omen.

Approaching the Admiral's office, she saw Commander T'Ping awaiting her outside the door. As she approached the Commander, she sharply halted herself snapping a salute with her right hand. "Cadet J--uh Bethany Armstrong reporting as ordered Si...ma'am." she announced in a shaky tone.

"Relax cadet," T'Ping responded. She then indicated that they had both arrived to the Admirals aide.

-West's Office-

The lights were off in front and over his desk while the lights in the back of the room were set to a slightly higher setting than normal. This caused the shadows to fall over his face as he talked to the man on the other side of the sector.

"Very well Tempest, you have clearance to begin snatch and grab operations on the target. Bring him in, we have a few questions for our errant officer." West's eyes went down to his desk as a light weakly pulsed letting him know that there were visitors outside.

As the line was terminated the doors parted and the lights began to raise to normal settings as West stood to accept his guests.

The aide indicated that the Admiral would see them and T'Ping made a small nod of the head. She moved forward letting the doors open and came to attention.

"Admiral," she said with just the right tone and pitch along with a salute.

"At ease Commander." he looked at the Cadet "You too, sit please." he motioned to the chairs across from him and waited for the women to be seated before taking his own seat. He had originally wanted to rip into the Cadet for her outbursts which were far and away not becoming an officer of the fleet but had instead thought better of it.

T'Ping gave again a small nod of the head and took the offered seat.

"Sir, can I have permission to speak freely before I sit, please?" Jennifer blurted out rapidly reciting her sentence.

He looked at T'Ping and back at the Cadet as his right eyebrow raised in a signature Vulcan reaction before speaking slowly.

"Speak." Truly curious as to what the cadet may say.

Jennifer took in a deep breath, her chest expanding greatly as she inhaled. "I want to apologize Admiral for calling the evaluation pointless. It was stupid of me and I should know better then to act out. It won't happen again, sir." She spoke once again hastily, spitting out her words all in one breath.

T'Ping listened and nodded slightly. This was what made a good officer, the ability to realize when one was wrong.

"I appreciate your self-assessment Cadet. That was a main reason why I was bringing you here was to impress upon you the reason we put Cadets, every Cadet, through the Maru." West sat down in his chair and thought for a moment.

"Do you know why we put Cadets through the Maru?" he asked softly.

"Do you want my honest opinion or a regurgitation of what the Academy believes?" Jennifer asked immediately wanting to cover her mouth as her eyes widened. Why had she said that? Was she actively trying to commit career suicide? Her heart sank into her stomach as her body temperature rose drawing sweat from her forehead.

Admiral West was about to eviscerate her, she could feel the blade of his words grazing the skin of her throat already. Jennifer just hoped their was something left to pick up afterwards.

He snorted and covered up the laugh that threatened to burst forth. Instead he responded in a carefully modulated tone.

"An honest assessment Cadet. Depending on your answer is wether or not I lose interest in seeing you complete the Academy. Make it a good answer and try to think what we gain from stressing the cadets."

"Perhaps if I may sir," T'Ping spoke up. "Before the cadet iterates that assessment perhaps along with that a logical analysis of what would make the test better. It is an old test, but a necessary one, however, that being said, one could always look into new ways to achieve the same ends."

"You can't make the test better." Jennifer chimed in nearly rolling her eyes. "The test itself IS the flaw. It glamourizes martyrdom and promotes what in my opinion is a ridiculous ideology of heroism in death. You guys are literally teaching people that death will leave them a great legacy. Everyone knows that if they attempt to rescue the Maru in that test the Klingons show up, every single time. It's not a risk, you can't study for real life! Maybe the Klingons don't show up, that's part of the decision. I knew, if I crossed the border three Klingon Birds of Prey would show up. In real life, I might make that call because I don't know. Anyone who goes into that simulation and tries to rescue the Maru is frankly stupid and unfit for command. I'm sorry sir, but if that's what you were hoping for, I'm not that kind of officer."

He looked at the Commander then back at the Cadet. "Cadet Armstrong, so thinking of the test from that uniform and put on mine. What the hell do you think I'm looking for when I send you into that simulator? What do I learn about your personality and the personalities of everyone on that bridge when you fail?" He put special emphasis on the last word. "You know you will fail" emphasis again "so why put you through it we have to get something out of it. So tell me what are we getting and then maybe you can answer the Commanders question instead of belly aching about how is flawed. Because I assure you Star Fleet gets a lot out of the test."

"I don't fail sir, not intentionally at least. I would never enter a scenario where I knew failure was certain. The conditions of test only tell you how I will react to that specific situation. Quite honestly sir, if this was real I'd let the Maru explode. Because I have hundreds, maybe a thousand lives under my command, those are MY family and MY responsibility and like hell I'm gonna let them down over four civilians who made a bad choice." Jennifer's breathing increased as she felt anger from within. She didn't know where this anger was coming from or why it had appeared all of a sudden. She instantly regretted saying what she had, it was cold, how could she be so cold? Her bottom lip trembled as a tear fell from her eye. "I-I'm really sorry sir, that was completely out of line. I just, I just really need to take a deep breath or something." she said tugging at her collar as the garment felt as though it was beginning to choke her.

He felt sorry for the girl but that was neither here nor there. He waited a moment before he began. "The problem is you will never know when failure is certain. While I understand your feelings about the Maru and can even sympathize my question stands, what do I get from putting you through the test? Perhaps better phrased what does it test?"

The word failure resonated through Jennifer's head as if it was a gong struck right beside her. The idea itself, a manifestation that tormented her at every moment, with every breath and through ever decision. It was a poison radiating in her blood stream. "I-I need to sit down, please sir." she stammered as she lowered herself slowly into the chair. Her legs had gone weak and she needed the support to prevent a full-on collapse. She took deep breaths to regulate her heartbeat as she continued to fight with her turbulent emotions, now a hurricane within her. More tears fell from her eyes as she sniffled. She looked up to the Admiral with moistened eyes, surrounded by a puffed redness. "You want to see how we face death." Jennifer murmured as she scratched at her chest nervously.

"I get afraid...."

He nodded "Please do Cadet," he produced a hanky the same red as his uniform out of a hidden best pocket and offered it to the woman "I'm the only one allowed to faint in my office." He listened to her response and grinned "Your beginning to see, yes that is one reason why we do it." He breathed in and looked at the Commander before continuing "We have to know of what mettle our officers are made of so we can better temper them. It's a crucible by fire we need to see if you will retreat or if you will be the wall that buys the fleet the moments it needs to marshal a defense. You spoke of glory earlier," he shook his head "no what we try to instill in our officers is morality. After all a starship capable of wiping out a planet is not a tool we can allow just anyone to use."

Jennifer nodded as she tried to process the information amidst the chaos in her mind. Right now, her thoughts were a highway of information after a bad accident. Words, ideas, emotions are crossing over one another as her rationale fought to organize the fragments.

"I don't fear death....I only fear the responsibility of the deaths of those under me." Jennifer replied softly.

"You want to know a secret?" He asked just as softly. "Every good Captain has that fear. The really good ones agonize overy having sent someone to there death. What sets them apart is how they deal with it afterwards. It will either break you or you find a way to control it. What you never do is go numb to it. I still have nightmares about the people I've lost in the war. I wouldn't do anything diffrent because there sacrifice helped keep the Federation safe and let you sit in that chair."

Jennifer bowed her head wiping her eyes. "I'm no Captain, sir. I'm just a loser." she replied shamefully. She knew she didn't have a hope in hell of matching up to an officer like Admiral West. She didn't even deserve mention in the same sentence.

"I am not interested in losers Cadet and I wouldn't have pulled you into my office if I didn't see something in you. You have the material to be one of those really good Caprains I talked about. If we temper you properly. That's the Commanders job and I'll help too, if you want to sit in that center seat that is."

T'Ping spoke up. "Then you have passed the test. Yes, the test is always one that whoever is in command will loose the overall scenario. It is not designed for that, but to see how the person in command handles the situation. To worry about the crew and how your decision affects them or not is the point. You have demonstrated that you are both concerned with doing the best job in a hopeless situation and also the effects of any commands you gave on that crew. I think though, that you have pointed out a flaw that perhaps might be changed. The test should be extremely challenging but not completely hopeless."

"I would rather stab myself a thousand times then watch my crew be killed. I did not pass the test Commander, I failed them and I failed everyone else." Jennifer pursed her lips as she wiped her eyes once again with the handkerchief as she began to weep.

"First lesson for a Command Track Cadet, learn to take a compliment. What the Commander means to say is you've learned what you were supposed to from the test. Second lesson, shut up and listen, that's the most important thing a Captain can learn. How to be quiet and actually hear and understand what people around them are saying. Third, if you want to sit in the center seat you need to get the feelings that you are having about death under control." he looked at her and raised his eyebrow. "Second lesson Cadet." he said knowing that she was about to have a quick retort on her lips.

"Sir." Jennifer said without further remark. The truth was she still felt the whole scenario pointless. She did not feel she had gained any wisdom from the exercise, it only made her angry, it only served as yet another anecdote for the student population to ridicule her for. She hated the academy for this, her instructors, everyone. She remained silent in her stew of emotions for either West or T'Ping to speak.

"Perhaps if I may admiral, suggest the alternative KM test." T'Ping finally said. "That might prove to be interesting."

"But I thought I passed?!" Jennifer exclaimed turning to T'Ping.

"Passed but from what I have heard you are not happy with the test. There is an alternative test that does have a solution. Not an easy one but perhaps that might suit you more. If I understand the emotional aspect you did not come into the test with the best attitude and you have stated as such. Hence, perhaps this might appeal to you more. From my observation you did not, what is it the humans say....'put your best foot forward'." She steepled her hands. "I would like to see what you could do."

Jennifer sighed. T'Ping was right, she still hated the idea behind the Kobayashi Maru. Given the opportunity to succeed, Jennifer felt she could but still had her doubts. "Fine, I'll do it Commander."

West watched the back and forth and smirked to himself. "You would have been better off just taking the pass from the original Cadet. Now everyone will be watching you the second time."

"It it engages the cadet further sir into putting her best effort in, then I think it shall be quite worth it." T'Ping made a nod of the head. "I shall, once dismissed prepare the scenario."

He nodded "Well if that be the case, you are both dismissed. Provided you dont have anything else to add Cadet."

"N-no sir." Jennifer responded knowing any further talk would be easily dismissed by both the Admiral and Commander.

He nodded "Very well, dismissed."

OFF

--
Cmdr T'Pring
Starfleet Science Instructor
NPC Allyndra illm Warraqium

Nathan West
Rear Admiral
Chief of Star Fleet Intelligence
Star Fleet Headquarters

Cadet Sophomore Grade Bethany Jennifer Armstrong
2nd Year Command Cadet
Starfleet Academy

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