Let the Moon Cry and the Bricks Crumble Down

Posted on 21 Sep 2012 @ 3:15am by Commander Andreus Kohl & Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle

1,213 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Episode 01 - Project Sienna
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, Sickbay
Timeline: MD 08 - 1025 hours

[ON]

Wearing a dead man's uniform, as he was, Andreus Kohl found morbid thoughts coming to him with remarkable ease. The thoughts didn't scare him like they did last night. His body must have been too tired, or his mind too overwhelmed, to experience his usual emotional responses, but the morbid thoughts were coming to him fast and furious. And they were distracting.

Near the entrance to Sickbay, Kohl was standing by the parallel rows of cabinets partially set into the bulkhead. One row was at ground level and the other row was at eye level. Kohl stared at the panel for the left-most cabinet, and his eyes studied the panel as if he didn't know what to do with it. He stared at it as if he didn't know what it was for. He tried hard to keep his eyes locked on the cabinet, because he could feel something inside of him glancing askance with his peripheral vision. Last night, he had crouched beside those cabinets and he had expected to die with a bat'leth in his chest. When the Klingons stormed Sickbay, Kohl had expected to die, just like Petty Officer Charlie Jackson had died, and now Kohl was here, and now Kohl was alive, and now Kohl was wearing one of Jackson's spare uniforms.

"Can I help you find something?" Delainey's tone was soft, belying the fatigue she was trying to ignore. She wasn't proud and was more than a bit confused by her own emotional reactions during the battle and while she was in sickbay.

Spurred on by the voice beside him, Kohl reached up and tapped the contact to open the cabinet. He found it a struggle to move his arm naturally, and pretend it had been his intention, all along, to open that panel rather than stare at it for another three minutes. Kohl watched the panel slide into the recesses of the cabinet, rather than turn to the voice that had spoken. "Ah, but it's what's missing that I'm looking for," Kohl said, intentionally cryptic. He let that hang in the air between them, and then he turned a wan smile to Delainey. "I'm conducting an inventory check," he said, but it sounded so much more boring like that.

Carlisle's smile appeared, though wan, in appreciation of Kohl's effort to be clever. She couldn't be sure that it was entirely for her benefit, but she wanted to express her gratitude anyway. "How're you holding up?"

Kohl pursed his lips and he tilted his gaze down to the countertop as he considered the question. After twenty seconds of silence, he shook his head and shrugged. "I'm on my feet," he said to Carlisle. "I got some sleep and I'm still going. That's all I know," --a muddled laugh escaped him-- "The rest... It's going to take some time for me to put names to everything. ...How're you?"

"Same," Delainey replied simply, suddenly not wanting to burden him with her doubts. Sensing the nurse would read something off, she added with a not quite convincing chuckle, "I haven't had enemy combatants that close in a long while, and I guess my emergency medical skills felt a bit rusty." In truth, she'd felt absolutely useless once she'd escaped the cargobay and brought Lucalin to sickbay. She was angry and confused the EMH had to take over for her. Emergency medicine was supposed to be one of her specialties, and she'd handled the pressure and chaos a million times before, so why'd she choke then? It certainly didn't bode well, and though she wanted to hide, the only good thing was the counselor had sense enough to do the opposite of her initial impulse. Score one for team mental health.

"I don't think many of us can become acclimated to enemy combatants," Kohl said, and he believed it. He stared in the open cabinet and he appeared somewhat confused to find it fully stocked. "At my last posting, I was a battlefield medic, but even the idea --the very idea-- of Klingons intruding on board gave me a visceral reaction. I know I couldn't shake it."

"It's healthy of you to talk about it," Delainey reassured, suddenly relieved to have someone else's needs to worry about. "I imagine behind that visceral reaction was a complex mix of emotions and experiences. If you continue to have trouble shaking them, I'm here."

"Thank you," Kohl said, and he nodded. He looked from Delainey over to the cabinet, and he shook his head. The cabinet was perfectly stocked. Someone else in Sickbay had beaten him to it. Kohl shut the panel in front of him, and returned his eyes to Delainey. "Remind me," Kohl said, "Who does the Chief Counselor talk with when she can't shake something?"

Delainey smiled wanly and then looked away briefly in thought before she looked back. "I suppose the chaplain? Her computerized log?"

When Delainey looked away, Kohl turned his head towards the next cabinet in the row. He touched the sensor contact and the panel slid open. "And then, what would you say," Kohl asked and made meaningful eye-contact with Delainey, "if a junior officer said computer recording made for an adequate alternative to a counsellor?"

Delainey smiled. "You didn't say the alternative had to be adequate. You just asked whom or what I'd turn to." Knowing he was being sincere, she added more seriously, "I suppose I'm a little disappointed in myself. I brought Luca to sickbay and had every intention of treating him, but I froze, and the EMH took over. By the time I had calmed, most of the casualties were being tended to, and I felt a bit in the way. I'm a doctor and an emergency specialist at that, so I was more than a little embarassed by it. If all of you can't count on me to be calm, who can you count on? I am not going to dwell on it, I guess I just need to process it."

"Well... we could, uhm, work on preparing for the next time?" Kohl said, struggling at first to gather his thoughts, but then making a recommendation in addition to processing the problem. Kohl turned to face Delainey completely, but he got comfortable enough to lean against the counter behind him. "I never felt like you were getting in between me and my patients. We worked together to save R'Neron's leg, yeah? But if it might help, we could talk to Doctor Ni Dhuinn about including the counseling staff in the emergency drills we run?"

At first it made her a bit uncomfortable to hear him offer her potential solutions. She wasn't accustomed to being the recipient of such advice, and there was a part of her that felt worse for having made her feelings public, but just as quickly, she realized her irrationality and made a point to "hear" his words. With her ego out of the way, she could also see the value in the suggestion.
"I think that's a great idea, and thank you for your reassurance. I think I needed it more than I even realized."



[OFF]

Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle M.D., Ph.D.
Chief Counselor
USS Galileo

Ensign Andreus Kohl
Nurse
USS Galileo

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