Cacophony Of Insight

Posted on 22 Feb 2015 @ 3:55am by Ensign K'os Beaumont
Edited on on 28 Feb 2015 @ 10:09pm

865 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Episode 08 - NIMBUS
Location: USS Galileo: 06-1004 EN
Timeline: MD -03 0630hrs

ON

K'os stood in the middle of his quarters. He was naked from the waist up. His blue and white striped pajama bottoms made him look younger than he was. His eyes were red, perhaps from crying or exhaustion. With Ellsworth now out of his immediate surroundings his clear mind was free to analyse the events that had just happened. Just happened? K'os blinked and looked at the time flashing from a clock on the replicator. He'd been standing in the middle of the room a little over three hours, with his thoughts and feelings swirling about his mind.

What had brought him out of his self-imposed trance?

There it was. Ellsworth was awake and projecting again. Like usual, he felt the conflicted Betazoid pull back and smother the bond almost as fast as it came on. While the Betazoid may downplay his ability, it seemed more from a lack of confidence than anything. To K'os, it felt like the more Ellsworth pulled back, it became better and better at it.

K'os looked down at his hands with a neutral expression on his face. He had spent the rest of the night reliving memories. From the earliest memory he could remember in childhood, right up until the moment K'os had re-melded with Ellsworth. They weren't his memories, though, they were Ellsworth's. Even now -- even with the familiarity it elicited in his mind, he still felt somehow like they were stolen memories. Plucked and stitched from the synapses of Ellsworth's mind, and assimilated into his own. Now like a damn, 'This is Your Life' style documentary, the images had reeled along again and again. He had analysed them without emotion; detached from feeling gave him a new perspective on everything he remembered.

A quiet alarm sounded, indicating it was time to get ready for his shift. K'os began to do his usual morning routine as he continued his thought process. He recalled one memory in particular. The moment of their first meld. He had warned Ellsworth that his touch repulsed, or made other telepaths uncomfortable. Regardless, the youth in his naivety, had held on and allowed the bond to happen. He was the first to withstand it. He was the first to hold on and ride out the torrent of emotions that almost constantly flooded K'os' mind. It had felt like Nirvana; it was pleasure personified. The meld had snipped and rewired their synapses until they were one mind. And like a drug, the bond was undeniably attractive. Almost obsessively so. K'os had no control back then. The bond had happened naturally and unintentional.

All these past weeks of study; months of practice with Toor, had made him more in control of his abilities than at any time in his life.

Until last night.

He had felt out of control again. As if he had been yanked along by a chain wrapped around the centre of his chest. It had frightened him -- it still frightened him. It had created so many questions, when he thought he had answers.

Was Ellsworth the cause of his inability to release the Plak tow? Or the cure?

Why would Ellsworth agree to take things slow with rebuilding something between them, when K'os knew and felt full well the feelings Ellsworth had for Oren.

Ellsworth and K'os, in their immaturity and altered perceptions, had truly felt that their bond was genuine. Ellsworth did not have the fortunate -- or unfortunate depending on perspective -- ability to step back and look at things with clarity.

There was a very clear difference in the feelings Ellsworth had for K'os that he had for Oren, yet neither of them were willing to discuss what that truly meant for the three men.

Slow, then.

K'os suddenly rebelled against the thought of it. The thought of continuing to rebuild -- to move on like nothing was wrong with the unhealthy attachment that they had to their connection. He worked towards a thought as it formed. He had realized over the course of the night that their intentions were fueled by emotional fatigue; strain of an unfettered telepathic bond that was created unintentionally out of affection between two friends.

The sudden thought of it sent a flood of emotions that conflicted with each other and clanged around his head like a loud cacophony, but also with it, brought insight. And with his new found insight brought forth the spiteful rage of an unsatisfied Plak tow that had gone unrelieved far longer than it wanted. It tugged at his attention, pulled at his mind to focus on it. To give it want it wanted. It wasn't Ellsworth it craved. It was the bond.

It was a grim reminder of the control he had to assert. With a deep sigh, he focused his mind, and brushed away his emotions. Subduing them until they were just a warm, quiet background noise. This thing that the two of them kept grasping at and holding on to was not something that they needed to take slow.

It needed to stop.

END


PO3 K'os Beaumont
Engineer's Mate
USS Galileo

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