By Sight and Heart and ESP (Part 1)

Posted on 13 Sep 2014 @ 10:02pm by Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D. & Petty Officer 3rd Class Ellsworth Hudson

3,987 words; about a 20 minute read

Mission: Episode 06 - Legend of Souls
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, quarters 04-2624 JO
Timeline: MD08 - 1200hrs

[ON]

With the process of tribble control well on its way and his therapy session going the way it had, Oren was looking for a distraction. Doctor Carlisle had raised some excellent points and his sleep deprived, anxiety-riddled mind had taken to picking through them each moment it wasn't otherwise engaged. So, after cleaning his quarters floor to ceiling and wall to wall (notwithstanding the tribbles on the floor), Oren finally unpacked all of his belonging and still found himself with hours to spare before his shift.

Checking the time, he briefly wondered if he could call someone over. Surely, even if they were on shift, they had a lunch break! Picking through his options quickly, Oren realised there was really only one person he could call who was certain to not add to his anxiety. Deciding that it was better to not contact him via commbadge so as not to give any possible Ops personnel extra gossip ammunition, Oren sent his Betazoid friend a message, telling him to come over to his room on Deck 4 for lunch.

Ellsworth had spent the last three hours coming down from his earlier encounter with Pieter. It had shaken him on a number of different levels. Whatever confidence he'd built up in himself and his abilities was gone. He had no idea what he was doing, and that was clear now. In wide swinging turns of emotion he'd gone from being outraged at Pieter to feeling so sorry for himself he'd cried a solid hour to wanting to find Grayson, shove him into a supply closet and vent every last ounce of emotional torment into making love. But in the end, he'd only had the inventory database to distract himself, at least until Oren's welcome message had come.

He'd spent a good ten minutes trying to make himself presentable again, though there was only so much he could do with his eyes. They were puffy and red anymore, now that he stood at the door to Oren's quarters, but he knew they probably still looked tired. Way too tired, way too haggard, for a young man in his early twenties. He took one last deep breath and took the plunge, pressing the chime and convincing himself he was going to have a nice normal lunch. That was the best kind of distraction: normal.

Setting the last of the utensils on the tiny dining table, Oren jumped at the sound of the chime. Looking down at his hands, he realised they'd stopped shaking now and was glad that the sudden noise hadn't started that up again. The last thing he wanted was for Ellsworth to notice something was amiss. He would have enough problems keeping himself in check so that the Betazoid couldn't read him. He still wasn't completely sure what Ellsworth had meant when he'd told Oren that he wasn't a very good telepath. Oren himself wasn't a very good empath but he still picked up his fair share of emotional static.

Taking a quick glance at himself in the mirror across the room, Oren called for the door to open before walking up to it to greet his guest, a big smile on his face.

Ellsworth smiled when he saw Oren, the sort of instinctive smile that comes around when you see something pretty that you like. It was probably just only a nanosecond or two at the most, but that smile was enough to have made the whole lunch worth it.

"Hi, Oren," he said, crossing the threshold and instantly falling into the other man for a hug. They'd met once and seen each other in the corridor a few times since, but Ellsworth felt comfortable and connected enough with him already for that level of intimacy. Besides, he just really wanted a hug. He lingered way longer than he should have, right up until he felt like he was about to start crying again, then pulled away suddenly and stalked off toward the table in a dramatic flourish. "What's for lunch? I'm starved! I mean, I cooked a really big breakfast." Even in the midst of his own personal crisis, he still had to suppress a grin at the thought of cooking breakfast for Grayson. "But I'm still starved. I'm always starved. Do you think we have high metabolisms? Betazoids, I mean?"

Oren had closed his eyes briefly during the hug, melting into it. Ellsworth wasn't the only one who needed it. After his sleepless night, feeling close to someone, even briefly, was enough to calm him. As the brunette finally pulled away, Oren suppressed the small chill that ran through him at the loss of body heat and instead walked after him. Listening to Ells speak, Oren's smile was still kept in place before he finally let out a huff of laughter at the question.

"It would definitely explain a few things," he joked, motioning with his hand for Ells to sit. "I made some pasta for the energy. It's with Alfredo sauce and Bajoran shrimp," Oren explained, sitting down.

Ellsworth grinned a little bit as he sat down at the table. He was suddenly flush with nervous energy that seemed to come out of nowhere; doubtless his mind was trying to compensate for the morning by going all-in with the lunch and getting wrapped up in the loveliness that was Oren Idris, but that was a level of analysis Ellsworth hardly engaged in. If ever. So, instead of thinking about it, his legs just moved restlessly under the table while he resisted the urge to play footsie, all the while cluelessly wondering why he was hyper.

"Bajoran shrimp? I've never had that before. I bet they're good, though. I hear amazing things come from Bajoran," Ellsworth said, flashing Oren a knowing grin. "What are you doing today? Do you have some..." He stopped mid-sentence and frowned. "Do you even have anything to do?" He gasped a little. "I don't mean that in a rude way! I just mean... There's not a lot of archaeology with tribbles and mines and Cardassians and stuff, right?"

Oren giggled good-naturedly. "Don't worry, I know archaeology is hardly the most exciting scientific field on the ship...or...anywhere." He laughed again. "Right now I'm just helping the rest of the scientists out with getting rid of these tribbles," he explained and, as if on cue, the small group of said creatures that was living in the far corner began to purr.

"Other than that, I'm just going through the inventory and restoring any artifacts that I can." Oren knew his field was incredibly boring to most people, so he kept out any details. They were there for lunch, not a nap. "I did go on the away mission. That was..." He frowned slightly before shaking the feeling off with a little shudder. "Intense," he decided. "But I'm alright now," Oren added firmly and confidently. He was certain that, while it wasn't the complete truth, it was a promise. Not wanting to dwell further on his experience in the mine, he turned the conversation back to his friend. "What about you? What are you doing today?"

For a moment Ellsworth felt like he'd been in the mine, too, and there had been an odd little feeling that went along with Oren's assertion. He'd actually been about to inquire when he heard Oren's question, which made him bite his lip. It probably made him seem thoughtful instead of about to cry and that was a good thing.

"Me? Uh," he stumbled. On the one hand, he didn't want to talk about it. But on the other, he definitely did. Somebody needed to hear about that bully. And besides, no one ever asked him about his day. Ever. There was little more Oren could have ever done in that moment to make himself more endeared to Ellsworth. "Well. I made a mistake this morning. And... It caused some trouble. It was an accident!" His voice took on a sort of pleading tone, like he was desperate for someone to believe him. "I didn't mean to mess things up. But I did." His voice dropped to a mumble. "Not surprisingly."

"Oh..." Oren said, giving Ellsworth a sympathetic look. Reaching out instinctively, he put his hand on the other man's, giving it a comforting squeeze. "What happened?"

Ellsworth's eyes snapped to their hands then darted back to Oren. For half a second he looked feral, as if he was so unaccustomed to anyone taking an interest in his well-being that the very act made him suspicious. But the feeling was short lived and misplaced, he knew. Sometimes he had to remind himself he was the ultimate judge of sincerity, and there was no deception or hidden agenda in the room. Thereafter, the hand on his hand made his eyes started filling with very unwelcome tears. Stupid emotions.

"I don't know!" he exclaimed, although it sounded more like a wail than an actual reply. The fact that he was actively trying to suppress his instinct to cry was just making it worse, causing him to breathe through great racking sobs between all the rambling. "This...man...just came in the cargo bay and started berating me for killing his stupid plants. He didn't even introduce himself! He just started getting angry with me and then angrier and angrier with every word I spoke! They were some kind of stupid flower that needs all these dumb special conditions and I didn't read the storage instructions because they're almost always the same stupid thing and I've been so stressed and trying not to let the tribbles get into anything so maybe I cut a few corners. How was I supposed to know his flowers were going to die? They're just flowers."

So much for a normal, anxiety-free lunch, Oren thought to himself as he watched Ellsworth's outburst with wide eyes. He didn't let go of his hand, though, taking in the downpour of emotion.

At the mention of an angry botanist, Oren knew immediately who Ellsworth was talking about. There was only one man who took plants that seriously and Oren had read his name on the manifest when scrolling through the Science Department.

"I know they are, but I wouldn't say that in front of Van Zyl," Oren said gently, caressing the back of Ellsworth's hand with his thumb. "From what I can hear, it was an honest mistake to make. Things are crazy now, this isn't an everyday situation," the El-Aurian explained, shaking his head as a spike of annoyance shot through him at the thought of Pieter in all of his militaristic glory digging into poor Ellsworth, who didn't look like he could take it.

Ellsworth grabbed at a free napkin and used it to dab at his eyes and face; he probably looked like hell - again - and that was making his cheeks flush even more from embarrassment. But at least the gentle, rhythmic touch on his hand and the evenness of Oren's tone helped bring him back down to a more reasonable emotional plane. "I'm trying my best, you know? It was an honest mistake. This is my first posting! And these stupid tribbles are just making everything so hard." Only after he said it did he realize how much like a petulant child he sounded, which just brought to mind Pieter's words all over again. But instead of crying again, he looked sullen. "He said he was going to file a complaint against me even though I promised to get him more of those...plants. So now I'm going to have to explain everything to Lieutenant Zhao and they're probably going to reprimand me. You don't think they'll kick me off the ship, do you?"

"Of course not. They're just some dead plants," Oren said, knowing that Pieter was prone to exaggeration and anyone with half a brain cell could figure that out after a couple of conversations with him.

"I'm sure he will file a complaint because that's what he does, but I don't think you're going anywhere," Oren assured him kindly before reaching out and taking the napkin from him. Moving slowly, he pressed it against the middle of Ellsworth's right cheek where he'd missed a tear. After his evening with Grayson, he knew better than to tell someone to not cry when, sometimes, it was the best way to overcome something.

"You should just try to be calm during the meeting with Zhao. She's your department head, she's not going to come down hard on you over an honest mistake. Van Zyl with probably be there, too, so don't give him the satisfaction," Oren advised, knowing that Pieter was a man who was unusually sensitive to tension and negativity, almost using it to feed his own tirades.

"Okay," Ellsworth said quietly, lowering his head slightly. The attention and affection were foreign but welcome, though it was making him feel a little self-conscious. He turned his hand over so that their palms were pressed together and shifted his hand so they fit together comfortably. It was a natural thing for him, and he hoped the casual intimacy didn't disturb Oren.

His breathing had slowed and he seemed to be feeling much better after his outburst; in fact, that was probably all he really needed, an emotional outlet, but that was difficult to grant himself. "You know him? He's tall? With that thing that speaks for him?"

Oren grinned, nodding. "Oh yes. Petty officer Pieter Van Zyl," he half-declared, his posture stiffening in a vague imitation of the way Pieter held himself. "We were on the Belgrade together for several years, my office right next to the Botany lab," he remembered. "I always respected him, but he didn't like me. Well, doesn't like me, I guess. He said civilians had no place on a military vessel, that I was a liability." Oren rolled his eyes. "As for the rest of his opinions of me, well, they were very colourful."

Ellsworth's grip tightened slightly on Oren's hand. He felt instinctively protective about the other man, and hearing that the ship's bully seemed to have an issue with Oren just fanned the flames of hatred he felt for Pieter Van Zyl. He understood (partially) why Pieter hated him - he'd destroyed the man's precious little flowers - but what issue could he possibly have with Oren? Ellsworth looked at him critically, as if seeking out some flaw, but there was none to be found as far as he could see.

"He seems like a real asshole," Ellsworth said, leaving out all the incredibly juvenile things running through his mind about beating up Pieter and telling him to leave Oren alone. The inherent naivete of feeling so attached to someone he barely knew just because they'd shown him some momentary interest and affection never seemed to cross Ellsworth's mind; instead, he was fixated on wanting to kick Pieter in the teeth. His expression eventually softened when he spoke and although he knew Oren didn't need that sort of pandering, he said it anyway, "I don't think you're a liability. I'm glad you're here. Otherwise there'd be no one else to introduce me to Bajoran shrimp or listen to me complain about my day or entertain my obsession with trashy entertainment."

The Betazoid grinned a little and reluctantly let go of Oren's hand to make a play for the serving spoon in the pasta. It was probably cold by now, but Ellsworth didn't care.

Oren smiled back and then stood up briefly to bring over a dish he hadn't gotten to before Ells arrived. It was another pasta dish, but with a variety of multicoloured vegetables. Setting it down onto the dining table, Oren spooned some onto his plate. "You can have some of this too, if you want. I don't eat meat, so..." he explained.

"I'm glad I came here and met you too, but it seems Van Zyl is destined to haunt me. Maybe it's a sign," Oren proposed, taking a big bite from his plate.

Ellsworth took some of the second dish on to his plate, figuring he'd burned enough calories lately for the indulgence. He speared a shrimp and marveled at the taste - it was weird. Very weird. Unexpectedly weird, but good.

"A sign?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow in curiosity. There was a tug at the corner of his mouth, giving him a playful smirk. "You know, if you're cursed, you should really tell people before they eat with you, right?"

Oren grinned, letting out a small giggle. "Oh, you're terrible," he chastised him, giving him a playful nudge with his elbow. "He's awful, but he's not that awful." Despite his bad experiences with Pieter, Oren still didn't feel completely comfortable bad-mouthing him. Despite feeling a connection with Ellsworth he couldn't yet identify, he was experienced enough to know to think before he said anything to someone he didn't know very well. Especially about a colleague. Even though he was absolutely awful.

Ellsworth was positive he was that awful. The more time elapsed, the scarier the encounter became in his mind. By tomorrow, he'd probably imagine Pieter was breathing fire and turning over cargo containers as if they weighed nothing, all the while screaming at the top of his lungs.

There was a comfortable lull in their conversation as the two ate when Oren spoke again. "I meant sign as in maybe the Universe is putting him on the same ship with me twice for a reason," he explained, spearing a piece of decapus and chewing thoughtfully.

Ellsworth lifted an eyebrow and stuffed a few more bites into his mouth. If the Universe was putting that man on the same ship for some kind of sign, the sign must be that the Universe was some kind of colossal jerk. Besides, what could Pieter possibly have to teach Oren? For all his youth good looks - and they were definitely good, he mused - he was old. Like, way older than Pieter. And Pieter was an ass. Hopefully the lesson wasn't to be an ass; Ellsworth liked him just the way he was.

Instinctively, feeling especially affectionate in that moment of reflection on just how much he liked Oren, Ellsworth shifted his foot under the table to touch Oren's ankle. "Like, you're meant to learn a lesson from him?"

Oren nodded. "Yeah, but I don't know what that lesson could be," he admitted, smiling as he felt Ellsworth's foot under the table. Breaking out of his thoughtful haze, he looked back at Ellsworth, meeting his dark eyes. "Do you believe in things like that? Fate?" As he asked, he linked his ankle around Ellsworth, maintaining the casual contact with an affectionate smile still in place while he waited for an answer.

Ellsworth smiled at the contact; the constant connection put him further at ease. The question might have ordinarily made him frown, but he was enjoying himself too much to be in a cynical frame of mind. "I'm...not sure." He recalled the basic theology of his people, drilled into him at the orphanage, but he'd almost always dismissed that out of hand. It did seem at times as if something was guiding him, but if he was meant to learn lessons from the events of his life then the instruction could be a little less harsh. "I guess so... I just never stopped to think about putting a name to it. If there is such a thing as fate then sometimes it's hard to make sense of the people I meet, the things that have happened to me." The openness of that admission made him recoil a little; instinctively, he fell back on flirtatious as a defense by moving his foot against Oren. "And then other times, it all makes perfect, wonderful sense."

Oren perked up a little at the admission, nudging Ellsworth's foot playfully under the table, feeling a bit like he was back in school. "I didn't really believe in it until..." He paused, thinking. "Twenty-five years ago? I think." Figuring he'd never be able to pinpoint the exact time, Oren shook his head and carried on. "I was in a really bad place, but in the midst of all the chaos and misery, I got a message from my grandmother," he explained. "Now, El-Aurian families aren't close, so we hadn't spoken in a long time which is perfectly normal, but she said that she just felt like reaching out. That was...eerie, to say the least. She didn't know anything about what I was doing, so for her to send me a message, it just...clicked for me. At the time I'd felt very alone, and just getting that message showed me that I wasn't. The timing was too perfect." By the end of his little story, Oren felt as if he was trying too hard to illustrate his point and blushed self-consciously. He'd never been good at telling stories, much like the rest of his species. They did much better at listening to other people tell them.

Ellsworth could feel the self-consciousness and see the blush, so he felt in a rush to say something to put him more at ease. In his rush, he was far more open than he ever would have been at any normal lunch with a normal person in a normal setting.

"My life has been one long string of coincidences like that." He smiled, correcting himself, "Fate, I mean. I just happened to be picked up off the streets by a Betazoid family instead of a Jem'Hadar patrol; I had bad foster experiences to make me self-reliant; Risa made me realize what I liked and didn't like, who I am; I met K'os when I was in the middle of a personal crisis; I got yelled at by some really mean guy, and that made my lunch date a little more special." He smiled shyly then looked amused, as if his whole life's philosophy had suddenly come into sharp focus. "I guess I do believe in fate, hm? Everything happens for a reason... Or at least you have to believe it does. Otherwise, the universe can seem a bit cruel."

"Yeah," Oren nodded, not wanting to bring too much attention to everything Ellsworth had told him. He'd felt that it hadn't been easy for him to reveal so much. The last thing he wanted was Oren pushing for details.

"Can you imagine if Van Zyl could actually yell at people?" Oren suddenly said, his tone absent and a little airy.

"It was a very strange sensation when he was...talking to me," Ellsworth said, stopping himself from saying 'yelling' again. "That thing was so monotone, but I could feel how angry he was. It was like he was monotone-yelling. Very...weird. I'm not very good with my telepathy. Or, really, I'm not very good at dealing with it. You know, the things you hear. Uh, feel, I mean. Or...see. You pick up on things people don't want you to pick up on. Or, really, things you don't want to pick up on, either."

He fell silent and turned his attention to his food, polishing off the last of his shrimp and picking at the remaining pasta. Within moments, his feet were fidgeting under the table; his left leg began bouncing up and down out of nervous habit. After poking at his pasta with the fork enough to leave at least one piece completely eviscerated, he finally dropped it in the bowl and sighed.

To be continued

[OFF]

--

Oren Idris, Ph.D
Archaeologist/Anthropologist
USS Galileo

&

PO3 Ellsworth Hudson
Quartermaster
USS Galileo
[PNPC - Mott]

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