Lifting the Shadows

Posted on 26 Apr 2012 @ 4:20pm by Lieutenant JG Kestra Orexil & Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy
Edited on on 03 May 2012 @ 7:47am

4,696 words; about a 23 minute read

Mission: Episode 01 - Project Sienna
Location: Deck 2 - Mess Hall
Timeline: MD03 - 1230 hrs

[ON]

As midday rolled around, Kestra pushed away from her desk, stretched, and headed out of her office. She'd checked the official schedules and seen that the counselor didn't have any sessions on the books for this time. She hoped that the woman didn't have anything unofficially planned. The sense that she'd gotten from Tarishiana had been that the woman felt like an outsider to the crew. There wasn't anything wrong with that on it's own - it was a common occurrence on starships of any size. So many different species and cultures cross-checking each other; and on a ship this size, the feeling wasn't at all unexpected. But the intensity that Tarishiana had experienced was slightly worrying and there really was nothing more to do than simply try to assuage the emotion so that the counselor could function. It was even more important now, knowing that Lilou's fragile heart was in the woman's care. Outside the counselor's office, she listened for a moment, trying to tell if there was anything going on she'd be interrupting. Then she pressed the door's chime.

Looking out the window, Dru's mind went over the hours of the evening before. It seemed to have been an emotional roller coaster. The phrase brought a smile to her lips as she remembered Markum's bright idea for them to go on a hair raising ride. She had plans to get him back for that. Her thoughts then moved to the night and morning she had then spent with Lirha. The young counsellor had never realised how much pleasure there was in just sleeping beside a woman she had feelings for, waking up in the arms of someone special.

Drawn out of her thoughts as the chime in the office went off, Dru moved over to her desk, balancing her hip against the edge as she allowed her smile to linger."Enter."

Kestra took a moment to breathe in the room as she stepped inside. Amusement, the remnants of time well spent. She didn't feel any of the feelings Tarishiana had. Had a day made such a difference? "You must be Drusilla McCarthy. I'm Kestra Orexil, Chief of Security. I was hoping we might be able to talk. Is now a good time?"

Dru at the woman infront of her, Dru slightly nodded her head. "I have some time free now, I'd be delighted to sit down with you. Is this professional for me or you may I ask?" Dru smiled softly at the woman, recognising if she was the new head of security, she maybe here to discuss crew concerns rather then her own.

"Both, I suppose. We both have things we need to do with one another, don't we?" Kestra asked, smiling. "But I'm starving. Would you like to get lunch while we talk?"

Dru leaned over to check the chronometer on her desk,"Yiu know what, lunch actually sounds very nice right now. I need to be back for an appointment at 1400hours but you have me until then unless something comes up. Computer please instruct anyone looking for me to call me on my commbadge." Smiling acros at Kestra, the young counsellor indicated for her to lead the way. Recalling Trishiana's advise yesterday, Dru saw this as business as Kestra indicated that this was to be the topic of conversation."I believe you only joined us onboard yesterday? How are you settling in?"

Once they were in the corridor, Kestra dropped in alongside Drusilla for the walk. "Remarkably well," Kestra answered. "I was fortunate to find two very old friends on the roster. Knowing one person on board is rare, I hear. Two is a blessing. The Fates are kind to me, so I do what I can for them." She chuckled at the little joke her father liked to say. "What about you?"

Dru smiled softly as she concentrated on walking to the mass."Well I'm lucky that I've been here a little bit longer then yourself but I'm not as lucky as you that I knew people when I came onboard. I've made friends though I must say." Dru smiled more broadly as she thought of Lirha, Markum and Tarish. "Friends are pretty important on ships's the size of ours. A person could go mad being copped up on their own." Dru grinned at Kestra as they stepped into the turbolift and instructed the destination to be the mess hall.

"Too true," Kestra agreed whole-heartedly. "On any ship, really. Even the largest can become claustrophobic if one feels alone." She knew the feeling well enough; cabin fever, the vicarious torment of it, was always a danger. She and Klask had worked hard, in coordination with the Churchill's counselor, to keep their marines and security/tactical teams in good morale as well as fighting form. "I am glad to hear you're settling in and finding connections. Acting as counselor on any Starfleet vessel must be a great responsibility to shoulder, but you seem in good spirits."

Dru rolled the question over in her head. It seemed like an unusual observation to make but given the counsellor didn't know Kestra too well right now, she would give her the benefit of the doubt."I'm lucky in the sense that this ship has a small number of crew. Everyone has their own difficulties and issues but it's easier to help a smaller number of people then to try juggle too many. The job's has it's ups and downs, there's no doubt about that but the key to being a good counsellor is to know when to separate yourself from these ups and downs when you are outside of the job."

Dru paused for a few moments thinking back over the last few days, the people she had seen and what she had been through."Don't get me wrong, there is occassions in which it can drag me all down, I am only human at the end of the day, but what makes me good at my job is an ability to bounce back and also an ability to be here for the crew if needed, no matter how I myself am feeling."

Looking up at Kestra, Dru realised she had actually just said quiet a bit. Laughing softly, Dru looked back down at the floor,"You'd think counsellors would be experts at saying little or nothing."

"Not at all." Kestra shook her head, "We lead by example, after all. How can we expect people to open up to us, if we're unwilling to open up ourselves?" She smiled, reassured for the moment that Drusilla was finding her methods of coping. She was a lynchpin in the crew network, so she'd need to be monitored, but Kestra was far less concerned now than she had been before meeting the woman. "You're welcome to say as much or as little to me as you like, whenever you like. Our jobs are not entirely dissimilar. We both are tasked with maintaining the welfare of the crew. Perhaps we could find a way to work together in this. What do you think?" She paused as they stepped off of the lift and headed towards the smell of cooking food. "I've never understood that phrase 'only human'," she added thoughtfully. "It seems to me your species has a wide range of accomplishments to speak for it."

Dru thought over the proposal Kestra had presented her with. She wasn't 100% it would work. She wondered if the security officer would see some of her patients as threats when all they were were people who just had issues they needed to work through such as low self-confidence or fears of certain situations. Initially meeting them they may seem like a risk in that they may make a mistake on their jobs but as Dru managed to draw them out of themselves, things usually righted themselves. What could be the harm in trying to work together though...it could work in the positive in which Kestra might see something she herself would miss and point the counsellor in the right direction, indeed visa versa could even apply. "You know what...I'd like to give that a try,working together. There'd need to be some ground rules, as my position as counsellor I need to respect confidentiality and also I can't breech that except in the extreme of situations but I'm sure we can still help eachother."

Dru smiled across at Kestra as the idea continued to grow on her. "Only human...I guess it's a saying we like to use when we wish to explain our reasoning behind something in a simplistic manner. Only I think sometimes we can view ourselves lesser then to other races. For example Betazoid's, you have the ability to read emotions and thoughts, something humans can only dream of doing."

Kestra laughed. "There are many humans with an aptitude for emotional awareness. Usually those humans get drawn to fields such as... say... counseling?" she glanced at Drusilla with raised brows. "But these differences between our species don't make any of us lesser to each other. There's no way to compare. We are all mortal, fallible, trying to figure out what we're meant to do and why we're here - those are the things that put us all at the same starting point. From there, our accomplishments are our own. And we have a right to be proud of them." As the doors to the mess hall opened, Kestra gestured for Drusilla to lead the way. "Name your ground rules. We can discuss them."

Taking a seat at the nearest table, Dru eased herself back into her seat, smiling across at Kestra as she took her own."The rules just surround confidentiality. People tell me things which you may perceive as a threat but they might not be. It's my job to listen to people and to help them figure things out. Where people are a risk to themselves or to others I have to tell the CMO who makes a final decision. If we are to share information about people you need to appreciate sometimes I might withhold information from you because I have to." Dru moved in her seat as she thought this through and how to explain it. "In order for me to be a counsellor, people need to know they can trust me, I can't betray that trust. It's a very thin line for me."

Kestra considered the human woman curiously. "I don't recall asking for any information about anyone you've spoken to. In fact, I confess," she continued, "that I hadn't planned to ask about your professional conversations at all; my work with individuals isn't something I publicize either. Minor disputes can be embarrassing when made public and major infractions... well. Legally, I'm required to keep all details of on-going and closed cases available only to my commanding officer and Starfleet's legislative powers. I prefer to deal with a situation and get back to the work of keeping the ship on objective. My interest in a cooperative partnership with you had more to do with cultivating your experience for the sake of peace-keeping aboard the ship..." She frowned, steepling her hands as she sat down across from Drusilla. "But what you're saying is throwing up some red flags. Are you telling me that someone has spoken to you about something that might be perceived as a threat to this crew?"

Dru laughed suddenly, looking up at Kestra, "See this is why it'd be easier if humans could read minds. I have completely misunderstood you. I thought when you said work together you meant alert each other to people we feel might be problematic, thus my concern." Dru shook her head, still laughing gently. "I must say your idea of using me for my experience sounds far more logical. I do apologise, I guess I've had alot on my mind recently. In response to your question, noone has said anything to me which indicates they are a threat to this crew. I have 1-2 crew members that I have concerns over in how they are handling themselves but absolutely, I have no fear that they are a danger to the crew in anyway, they are just people who need help to work through some issues."

Kestra tilted her head to the side, studying Dru's face. For a moment, she said nothing, only observed with her eyes, heart, and mind. In the end, she nodded slowly. "Very well." She smiled slowly, her expression opening the way a flower blooms in the sunlight. "I will trust your judgment." She nodded towards the replicators and the line for fresh food, "Did you want to eat?" she asked gently.

Nodding her head, Dru smiled gently, "That sounds good, I'll have to excuse me though if I only have something light, my appetite seems to be nonexistent right now. So tell me, how are you finding your time since you've come onboard? How are you settling?"

Kestra blinked. She'd half-stood already, but now she sank back down into her chair and met Drusilla's eyes. She positively itched to touch the other woman. There was something off, something buzzing just beneath the surface of her. Contact would tell her what that was. "Well, to both." The Betazoid folded her hands on the table. "Drusilla - may I call you Drusilla? It seems silly to lean on titles as we're the same and will be working together, don't you think? I have a tendency to be direct; it's how I was raised and I find it's much simpler than trying to skirt around issues. So, I hope you don't take offense, but... are you all right? Is there anything you need to talk about? I'm a very good listener."

Dru frowned at Kestra and wondered had she let a mental shield slip. After her conversation yesterday, her night out with Markus and her night in with Lirha she had been feeling so much better, things had taken a turn for the best and she even had a double date to look forward to tonight. The young counsellor was certain she had managed to bury everything else so as it wouldn't interfere in her enjoying life and having a good time, maybe she hadn't buried it deep enough. Allowing her frown to slip into a smile, Dru reached across and touched Kestra's arm, "Thank you for showing concern. I'm fine, I promise. I've just a few things I'm working through but already things are starting to look up." Dru laughed softly before continuing,"Now if you know a way to shift my headache that'd be nice."

Kestra blinked as Drusilla's hand came to rest on her arm. The first thing that hit her was the ache; the woman wasn't lying. The headache was unpleasant, not a piercing one, but rather one of those lengthy throbs, like the ripples of a lake against the shore, bringing with it waves of light nausea. Just enough to make the idea of eating anything unappealing. Next was the complex barriers, almost visible, like a psychic gate around Drusilla's head. And through the gate: 'had been feeling so much better...enjoy life...have a good time... Tarish... buried deep enough... tonight... double date... so tired...' The weight of her exhaustion dropped on Kestra like a ton of bricks. She knew, intellectually, that within a few minutes of breaking contact with Drusilla, her energy would return - boundless, curious, and eager as it had been before. Except, it didn't have to. She needed enough to be alert, yes, but she had a lifetime of telepathic training and extremely effective meditation techniques. If Drusilla had either, she was far too distracted to utilize them. She sought out and caught Drusilla's gaze, holding it with her eyes. Breathe out. One long breath. Breathe out until you think you can't anymore and then go a little further, she slipped her thoughts into the outer layer of Drusilla's mind, just outside that carefully maintained gate. Trust me. It will help. Exhale.

Dru grabbed her hand away in shock, almost knocking her chair downwards in her hurry to get away. Momentarily she had forgotten Kestra was betazoid and so contact could let her in further then intended. Dru wasn't used to someone speaking with her through her mind, not even Tarish had done that. Placing a hand to her forehead, she tried to refocus."I'm sorry. That was inappropriate of me to invade your personal space like that." As the dull throbbing in her head came back, the young counsellor became aware that for one tiny moment, during her contact with Kestra, she'd felt calm, better able to manage what she was feeling. Looking up at the security officer in confusion, Dru lowered her hand, "How did you do that?"

"It's all right. Personally, I love physical contact. I tend to avoid it only for the sake of... well... in this case, you." Kestra turned her hands over on the table, palms up in a gesture of peace and an offer of aid. "The gift of peace is one that is passed down through the Thirteenth House; that's my line." She smiled, trying to make the conversation easier for the both of them. "I can take some of the ache away, some of the weariness. I want to help you with that. If we had more time, I could take more. Ease the burden. Will you let me help you in that small way?"

Dru found herself to be very tempted but at the same time she didn't want anyone taking on the burden of what she was feeling, it was difficult enough for her to try cope with never mind anyone else. Shaking her head slightly, she smiled wearily at Kestra, "As much as I would love to take you up on this, it would be far on you. You felt the outskirts of the negative emotion I'm sure, it goes much deeper then that. It's too much for me to allow another person to take it on."

Kestra sighed. Language was a tripping, failing thing. "I cannot take your emotions from you. Those, I'm afraid, are yours to keep. I can but help a little with the symptoms. The cause, I fear, remains your burden. But it is a burden more easily dealt with when the mind is clear and the heart light." She tilted her head to the side, "If it helps, you can think of it as a selfish thing on my part. It makes my work easier if you're in fighting form."

Still frowning, Dru thought over what Kestra was saying. "Ok...So if you do this, you remain completely isolated from what I'm feeling? How does it effect you? What do I need to allow you access to for this to work?" Dru needed to know all the facts before she made a decision, if there was a possibility Kestra might have...side effects from this, Dru didn't want to put her through that.

"Drusilla," Kestra leaned forward, brows lifted. "If I thought that it would at all affect my ability to perform my job, I wouldn't offer. And you don't need to allow me access to anything; what I'll be dealing with is on the outside of your very impressive shield. Symptoms and effects, nothing more. All you need to do is breathe when and how I tell you. I've been doing this since I was thirteen."

Sitting back in her chair, Dru raised a hand to run it through her hair. After her dizzy spell's this morning, is Kestra could do something to help her cope with all of this, she would be made not to agree."Aslong as your sure this will have no adverse effect on you...then I guess we can give it a try."

Kestra wiggled her fingers where her hands lay palm up and waiting on the tabletop. "Hands please." She inhaled deeply and then breathed out, exhaling slowly like a balloon withering until she had nothing left, then blowing a little more, before opening her mouth and inhaling in one long breath. "Like that. Just focus on the feel of my hands and nothing else. Just breathe, breathe, breathe out."

Looking down at Kestra's hands, Dru slowly inched her own forward, still slightly uncertain but getting a feeling she could and should trust Kestra. Placing each of her hands in the of the woman's, the young counsellor then closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of their touching hands and controlling her breathing.

Kestra gently verbally led Drusilla through the breathing cycle twice. Slowly, carefully, she gradually substituted a few words in her mind until she was guiding the woman through the process with images and positive reinforcement alone. When that no longer caused ripples, she gently began the reverse breathing process under Drusilla's pattern, taking in what was exhaled, absorbing parts of the heavy fog that weighted the woman down. As they circled each other within the pattern, Kestra gradually began to feel her energy dampen. Her head felt heavier; her shoulders began to ache; her lower back gave her a twinge. When the weight began to translate into a misty feeling just behind her eyes, she opened them and squeezed Drusilla's hands. She couldn't afford to take on any lack of focus; not in the perilous situation they were in. She didn't need to ask if Drusilla's condition had improved; she could feel it. The cause was still there, tempting Kestra to root it out and deal with it right then and there, but there wasn't the time now for either of them.

Keeping her eyes closed for another few moments, Dru felt the waves of calmness flow through her. Even though she was conscious all her issues where still there, all she was aware of was this deep calm. Even the pains from the headache and the nausea had been dampened so sufficiently that she was barely even aware that they were there anymore. Taking a few more moments to immerse herself in these feels, the young counsellor then opened her eyes, looking down at her's and Kestra's still joined hands. Slowly raising her head, Dru looked over at the officer in disbelief."It's....it's almost as if it is all gone." even the emotions from her encounter with Will had gone. Dru had kept that locked away behind her shields as she had been ashamed at how she'd behaved when he tried to help, all of that was gone swell.

Carefully, Kestra reeled herself back in, all too aware that she could easily take advantage of the moment to slip behind Drusilla's guards. That would do more harm than good in the long run. She gently squeezed Drusilla's hand then drew her own away. "A reprieve, I hope."

Dru still wasn't sure what had just happened, but in all honesty she reconised that she should see this for what it was, a gift. It was as Kestra had stated, a reprieve. After what had happened this morning, Dru had started to worry that maybe she wasn't well enough to do this job any longer but now...now she left like everything would be ok, she felt an almost normality that she could cope now with her own issues. As a tear fell down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away, looking back at Kestra. "Thank you."

"Of course," Kestra nodded. "If you have need of another... reprieve," she selected the word again as it was the closest to what she meant. "You have only to ask. I mean that."

Dru nodded her head and a soft. Smile returning to her lips. "I hope I won't need it again, this alone enables me to be able to sort out everything in my head to better manage it all. This really is a gift you've given me Kestra, if ever there is anything I can do for yiu in return, please don't ever hesitate to ask."

"I won't," Kestra promised. "But not because you owe me anything. You don't." She folded her hands together. "I do hope you find a way to solve what troubles you. If I can be of assistance, let me know."

Wanting to take Kestra's hand, but under certain if it would be ok, Dru instead leaned across the table and gave the Betazoid a kiss on your cheek, hoping that that contact won't be as imposing."You will be the first I call my friend."

Kestra inclined her head gratefully, smiling a small, pure smile. "Do you have any appointments coming up immediately?"

Thinking back over her schedule in her head, Dru tried to think who she needed to see. There was only one person she urgently needed to see and that was the ship's XO, but that would be later in the evening when she knew things would be quieter for him."Nope...I often to a clear afternoon here and there to allow for drop-ins, today is one of them. You must be busy yourself as today is your first full day onboard."

"Incredibly so. But I'm going to get you something to eat first." Kestra stood up, carefully, and was relieved to find that the absorbed heaviness in her heart and shoulders hadn't affected her physically. It did, sometimes. "I know you don't feel like it, but you should. Any dietary restrictions?"

"Um.....Well I don't like spicy, I guess that would be my only constraint. But really...my apatite stll isn't the best."Placcing her trust in Kestra, Dru went to stand. "Please let me help you."

"You sit. Rest. Breathe. Take a moment for yourself." Kestra smiled, resting her hand on Drusilla's for a moment before drawing away. "I find a couple minutes of peaceful reflection excellent when my mind is clear. I'll be right back."

Settling herself back down into her seat, Dru folding her arms in the table, concentrating on a container of flowers on the table. The colours were so bright and delicate, it was as if she could see the world clearer. It had been a few weeks since she'd had a completely clear head. Between everything that had happened with Lirha, then the new counselling position, it had been a whirlwind of emotion, both good and bad. Her instinctive reaction right now was to go find Lirha, to enjoy this in the company of a person she cared so much about. But Lirha was on duty, Dru knew she couldn't disturb the Captain, instead she would track her down later tonight.

When Kestra returned, she found Drusilla contemplating the flowers on the table with a soft, real smile. Good. The woman deserved some pleasant moments. She set a tray down in front of her. "Ginger lilouta tea, green salad, and grilled chicken and vegetables from the charming chef. Eat what you can. Drink all the tea. It's good for you."

Looking down at the food infront of her, Dru suddenly found an overwhelming urge to devour everything placed infront of her, before picking up her fork, the counsellor suddenly noticed Kestra had nothing."How about you? I promise I'll eat it all aslong as you eat swell."

Kestra grinned. "I would, love, but I've got a meeting to get to. You eat and think and breathe. Take care of yourself. And I'll see you a little later. All right?"

"I'm...im sorry. I didn't mean to keep you. I hope your not late." Reaching across, Dru touched Kestra's arm very briefly and very quickly, not wishing to unsettle her."Thank you again."

"Don't apologize," Kestra chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm pleased to have had this time with you. If I'm late, it's entirely my fault. But I won't be, I don't think. Let's try lunch again tomorrow? See if we can't manage more than a half hour?"

Dru nodded her head at Kestra."Until tomorrow so."

[OFF]

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Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy(pNPC Ni Dhuinn)
Counsellor
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Kestra Orexil
Chief Security/Tactical Officer
USS Galileo

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