A Dose of Self-Realization

Posted on 02 Mar 2016 @ 3:39am by Lieutenant JG Noah Khoroushi

467 words; about a 2 minute read

=Start Personal Log=

I've been putting this off since arriving to Jupiter station - there didn't seem a purpose as I did not officially report for duty until a few days ago. Yet ... I think there was more to it than that. I'm just not sure what.

My appointment with Medical went more or less as expected. The CMO cleared me for duty, though she seemed more intrigued by the damage to my inner-ear than to my knee. Understandable, really. There's nothing much that can be done for the knee short of amputating at the joint and going full-out for a prosthetic. And that, in my opinion, is a waste of resources. I am fully capable of using the limb, and 80% of the time it functions just as well as its partner. The other 20% ... I manage.

She prescribed medication for headaches; unfortunately, I don't think this is going to assist much. My 'headache' is not the physical sort, but rather familial. I feel betrayed - by my sister definitely, and to a small degree by my parents as well. They could have let me in on what Yasmin intended instead of just expecting my sister to be upfront and unambiguous. Clarity is not Yaya's style. If there's a meandering path around the truth, she'll take it in a flash just for the fun of the trip

I know this is not an intentional desire to harm or impede on her part. She is a sweet girl, kind and loving, but playfully devious and used to getting her way as the baby of the family. I always found it endearing in our youth, but now that it has put her life in my hands, so to say? The gloss has worn off and I'm left with a sour taste in my mouth. Do I force my sister to go home? It is in her best interest, after all; from what I've heard regarding the Galileo's previous mission, even its status as a Science vessel is no guarantee of safety. And I cannot bide the thought of unnecessary harm coming her way.

At the same time, who am I to make this decision? Yasmin is 19 years old - well, she will be 20 before we depart the station. She is a legal adult and fully capable of making her own decisions. If I were purely clinical, she is an exceedingly fortunate young woman to have received this opportunity - interning on a Starfleet vessel, as a Civilian nonetheless. This is an opportunity which will carry her far in any career she chooses down the road. If I were wise, I would step back and put my own bruised pride to rest. Wishful thinking, but at least something I might aspire to in the days to come.

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