I Died Again Today

Posted on 29 Aug 2015 @ 2:39am by Lieutenant JG (SoghHom) Jynn

452 words; about a 2 minute read

Saalm, start log.

Dear Saalm... Not Saalm the green goddess. Saalm the ship. Well, you know what I mean...

Why did she have to name the ship after herself, anyway? It just makes things so confusing...

Sorry! Let's begin!

Dear Saalm,

I died again today. It felt so strange. Not like the other times. This time the man I felt death through was controlled by someone else. A puppet cutting his own lifestrings away. Controlled by an uncaring puppeteer controlled by a malicious master. As I lay there and felt the man's last emotions and thoughts racing through his mind, allowing myself to stare down the visage of death himself... herself?... through another's eyes, a most unforeseen thing occurred. The puppeteer had suddenly denied the man his last thoughts. His last emotions.

It was almost heartbreaking to feel someone deprived of something so essential just before passing on. Something so private. I almost wanted to do something, to somehow help this man feel as he should while dying. But instead I felt as he did, not as he should. He had felt most strange as he died, as though he where peering out from his own eyes but not with his own mind. Terror and torment replaced by new and alien emotions. Replaced with sick desire and unnatural calm. The grinding of flesh and bone did nothing to sway his perseverance as he attempted to remove his own hand, but I know he felt it. And as the weapon that would bring about his final death was leveled at him by our great green goddess there was nothing but satisfaction in his mind.

But it could not have been his mind. The interloper had done more than control his body and mind. He had changed his mind. To feel it second hand was astounding, especially as it overwrote the man's final thoughts. Changing what he felt. Like living someone else's life but still in your own body. What abilities this puppeteer must have had to change the very essence of a man. To have him think, feel, and do as he ought not. Was it a permanent change? Unfortunately in a flash of energy the possibility of finding that out was erased most gruesomely.

After all that had happened I had but one desire. To meet the weapon and his wielder. To experience first hand just what the puppeteer could do to a mind. I wanted him to change me. My very being. It was something I never even could have imagined possible. I was determined to let the 'weapon' attack my mind. And so I did. And it was... Well. That's for another log entirely.

End Log

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