Confusion

Posted on 04 Jul 2014 @ 3:11pm by Senior Chief Petty Officer Keval zh'Erinov

221 words; about a 1 minute read

We are back from the planet. Back from the nightmare. I suppose I should go see one of the Counselors, though I am loathe to admit a weakness. Especially this.

I thought I was big. bad. fearless, Andorian. But I'm not. Not even close. How can I face down just about anything or anyone and it doesn't faze me. But crawling into a damned EV suit, something that should be commonplace and easy, get my heart to racing. And going into the mines, those dark, confining, constraining, mines terrorizes me.

I tried to keep it together, I thought with Elijah there I could do it. I could lean on him, But he hardly noticed. Not that I blame him, there was so much going on.

And seeing that poor woman inside the rock. She was already dead. I held myself together long enough to get back here and thankfully my roommate is gone. That's a good thing. A damned good thing, because I wouldn't have wanted anyone to have seen me cry.

I can't go back there. If they ask me again. I just can't do it. I won't do it.

Now though I am going to put this behind me as best I can. I am going to go take a shower and go the Arboretum to just be alone.

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