Personal Log 002 - BEAUMONT

Posted on 01 Mar 2014 @ 7:32pm by Ensign K'os Beaumont

941 words; about a 5 minute read

[Previously on New Arrival - MD 1]

"When do you leave, K'os?" Anna asked.

"Tomorrow." He said while staring at a photo of his father and Anna taken last year at a ski resort in Germany. The age difference was more noticeable when they stood side by side like that.

"I see." Anna took a sip of her tea and flinched at the heat.

She wasn't comfortable with small talk just as much as K'os was and their conversations always seemed to struggle unless there was a more chatty third person.

He turned back towards the picture. Feelings of jealousy and bitterness erupted, making his scalp feel hot. Not feelings he enjoyed and he swiftly dashed them from his mind before they developed into anger. He instead focused on the smile on his fathers face. He looked happy, and it made his eyes a little wet. Those were better feelings and he chose to let them linger, flooding his body with endorphin's. His mind rapidly cycling through memories associated with happiness.Holding his new brother. His father's booming voice. The harbour at sunset. His mother.He stopped what he was doing before he lost control or became overwhelmed.

[59 days later]

K'os was alone in his enlisted quarters on the Galileo. The lack of people around was somewhat of a rare moment for an enlisted crewman. He had a pending message from his father that he hadn't opened since he'd received it almost a week earlier and he now sat at his desk eating a bowl of soup while staring at the blank monitor. He sat with his legs crossed and his back straight. His grey sweat pants were loose around his legs. The clean casual starfleet gym shirt had holes in it and looked like it was a size too big. Clearly a shirt with sentimental value as it should have been reprocessed in the replicator long ago, it was faded from being washed so much.

He was avoiding watching the message. He knew once he'd watch it, his father would know and then expect a response. It wasn't that he had an unloving relationship with his father, but there was history between them that had never fully been sorted out. When his mother was hit by a hovercar and killed he had lashed out at his father for years.

The source of anger only intensified after his father had married Anna. She was three months younger than K'os and he felt at the time like it was a betrayal to his dead mother. He could have easily detached himself from those feelings like everything else. He didn't know why he held on to the anger. It eluded him in meditation time and time again. Every memory that came up in his mind, he could swiftly dispatch any emotion attached to it if he needed to. It never stopped the emotions from rising in that chaotic sort of way, but if his concentration was sharpened, he never had to feel the emotions he didn't want to. Why then did he always choose to feel the anger that burned hot when he thought of his father and Anna? With a sigh, he finally decided to play back the message.

Cole Beaumont's face appeared on the monitor. His hair was slightly grey on the sides of his head. A stranger seeing the two of them side by side would instantly know that it was K'os' father. They shared the same rounded eyebrows and grey-blue eyes. Though K'os' features were softer like his mother's were, the straight line of their strong jaw was the same. He of course wore his Starfleet uniform.

"Hey, big guy." He started off. His loud, booming voice was nothing like K'os. "I heard you were still in San Fran. Sorry I didn't get a chance to see you when you were home. Maybe you could get a chance to come back? Before you leave? Your brother is doing fine. Little turd keeps Anna up a lot." He laughed, which oddly sounded a lot more like K'os when he laughed. "So. Galileo, eh? Tiny little ship. You sure it's the right choice kiddo? Not quite as exciting as the Mississippi would have been -- had you stayed that is." Cole ran his hands through his short hair. Clearly feeling awkward at recording a message without anyone replying back. K'os could hear Anna in the background say something to his father who looked away off screen for a moment. "Anna says hi. She misses you. We're going to spend her maternity leave somewhere warm. I'll be sure to get her to send you updates on your brother while you're gone." There was an awkward pause. "Well, take care K'os." Anna said something again and Cole cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "I uh, miss ya. And, uh, hope...you don't mess anything up." He offered a closed lipped smile, making dimples appear. "Bye." He ended the message.

K'os quietly stood from his chair and returned to the replicator. He placed the half eaten bowl of soup down and stared at the spoon in his hand. He had bent it in half sometime during the message, and he blinked looking at it. With a quiet exhalation he tried releasing the anger that had swollen around in his chest, but then decided to hold onto it awhile longer. He placed the destroyed spoon next to the bowl and pressed the button to reprocess it.

[END]

PO3 K'os Beaumont
Matter/Energy Specialist
USS Galileo

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