Personal Log 4

Posted on 01 Apr 2013 @ 1:41am by

553 words; about a 3 minute read

Why does Mulgrew even want this? He doesn't even read them. Nobody should be reading them. They're locked with my personal access codes.

He sits back in the chair and stares at the screen.

Wound up in Medical. Again. This makes the second day in a row. I'm not just afraid I'm backsliding - I know I am. Today was...

He drops his gaze so it's focused on the desk in front of the monitor but doesn't move from the cross armed position he'd been sitting in for some time.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time before Holliday and Saalm hear about it and...

he sighs

It's just a matter of time.

No word from Ahndyl regarding the other matter. Coleman suggests I not talk about it overly much, which is good advice. Especially with the reporters on board. Who ever let them on board in the first place? Isn't security risks we're taking out here bad enough, we have to babysit civilians? Reporters? People who cry about telling the galaxy the truth, the 'people's right to know' but they don't tell the truth do they? They tell what angle they think is the truth, if they even care that much.

Though many others on the ship seem to be afraid of them findind out about other things. They want all sorts of gag orders put in place. Punishment for crew members talking to the press.

he continues to sit as he had for hours but gives a snort of derision

And they say I'm wanting a police state aboard the ship. Aside from the fact that we have one - it's called military protocol - even I'm not about to abridge a person's right to freely talk to the press. If someone says something they shouldn't, then they will deal with the consequences - as it should be. But to expressly forbid conversations? What, exactly, are they so afraid the press will find out about?

Sitting, he frowns at the desk as if it were the cause of his misery.

I didn't make my appointment with Meridian today. I'm sure that's going to be another mark against me with Saalm. It seems like I'm the only one expected to actually follow orders and protocol aboard this ship while everyone else runs around conveniently forgetting where they are.

Couldn't be helped though.

Mom and Dad are making it difficult. I...it feels like I don't have a home there anymore. They just don't understand why I've pushed so hard. But...they keep thinking I'm their son. The same one they lost.

I'm not. I...

He looks directly at the screen.

I've spent the last few hours wondering.

I've been thinking about death. Afterlife. That stuff.

Most of the galaxy's cultures have this concept of - something - entering into a body after its dead. This thing goes around wearing that person's skin and people think it's that person but...that person died a long time ago. What's left is just...

I think I died in those caves.

I just don't think my body has lain down yet.

Maybe it's...

he looks at his chrono and frowns.

Maybe it's time it should.

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