Should I Be Worried?

Posted on 27 Nov 2024 @ 12:24pm by Lieutenant JG Hovar Kov

533 words; about a 3 minute read

Computer: Begin personal log.

I have been a priest for six months, and a Christian for eight years. I have rejected my family, my house, and my Empire to pick up my cross and follow Jesus of Nazareth. Every day I die, to place myself before the Judge of Judges and to beg for mercy. "Destroying an empire to win a war is no victory. Ending a battle to save an empire is no defeat." I recall the words spoken during my youth, what Kahless spoke. I find myself paraphrasing his statement. “Destroying our principles to save a life is no victory. Ending a life to save our principles is no defeat.” Everyone believes that they are among the blessed; yet they can just as well be cursed among the wicked, confined to flames of woe.

I have been told that a tormented soul with unchecked passions are the first to embrace a legalistic mindset, to take it upon themselves to judge and convict and to strike down those who they deem are guilty. I have also been told that the legalistic mind would be the first to accuse anyone, be it another legalistic mind or not, of heresy and to be condemned as such. I am constantly reminded, thanks to an officer aboard this ship, that it is very easy to pass judgment on the heretic when there is a blade against their neck. For the subject of my point, they have to live in the absolute fear that someone else will place a blade on their neck or be branded a heretic.

I remember watching a human movie in seminary that gives me a certain quiet confidence that I think my peers have either not appreciated or accepted. The moral of the movie, in my opinion, is that no mortal has the right to be the standard of law and order, to play with forces through the lens of a scientist whose passions go unchecked. No one is allowed to play God, no matter the circumstances. “We suck at it, and that job is already taken.”

And yet, there are so many who look upon others upon high places, climbing the tower until they reach the heavens to lock it in the dungeon. What is my role in all of this? I do not know. I am not expecting people to believe what I believe; of that conclusion I am at peace with. It concerns me that somebody will look down from this great height, becoming starved of humility and compassion, and have their minds become hypoxic with vanity that they are the true keepers of justice and that everything about them is just. Maybe my role is to remind them that they will be forced to live to their own standard with one blade on another with another blade on himself. That is a cruel fate, and I beg forgiveness of God that I am moved to pity them. More so, I am disappointed. I am not disappointed in their conduct.

I am disappointed that the greatest minds who I have the honor of calling shipmates are so enlightened yet because of their passion know nothing.

Computer: End personal log.

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