On the Edge of a Knife - Part 4

Posted on 27 Mar 2018 @ 10:31am by Commander Scarlet Blake

2,161 words; about a 11 minute read

[[Flashback: Set approximately 6 years previous to current timeline – several months after Blake is captured/Two days after Blake is recovered: SFMC Starbase 'Solar Flare']]

ON:

Laid out on the medical bed, Scarlet Blake stared at the ceiling of the sterile but warm private medical room on the Starfleet Marine Starbase, the blanket pulled up high over her.

Her 'team' had been rescued two days ago. She couldn't decide if it felt like two years ago or two minutes ago that she'd been in that rotten cell.

No one on the ship ride over to the base would tell her anything of what had happened, and even the Marines on the Starbase were refusing to say much until a higher rank came to deal with her. The only thing they'd tell her was that she'd been held captive for 7 months.

7 months.

Even with the evidence of some of her, as yet, unhealed injuries, being told she'd spent 7 months in that place felt surreal.

"Blake..."

Scarlet glanced towards the voice, seeing Colonel Ward making his way to her.

She frowned, trying to straighten up in the bed, but he gave a wave of his hand.

Looking around to make sure the door to the small room had shut behind him, Ward pulled a chair close to her bed. "It's good to see you, Scarlet."

Scarlet eased back again on the bed, letting out a long, tired breath, tugging the cover a little higher over herself. "I'm told it's been a long time."

"You've been told right," he said quietly, shaking his head as he watched her with a frown. "They were a terrorist organisation. They used the pirate slaver story as a trap to get their hands on marine personnel and information."

Scarlet nodded numbly. And Christopher had run straight into the trap.

Ward watched her, seeing the lack of reaction. His frown deepened slightly and he let out a soft breath, glancing to his hands. "It's good to have you back," he said quietly, leaving the thought that he hadn't thought to see her alive again unspoken.

Scarlet simply nodded again, staring straight ahead, her breath heavy. "Christopher Barton, is he...?"

"He's fine," Ward said quickly, well aware of Scarlet's and Christopher's relationship. "Well, recovering, but alive. The medics say they've been able to treat most of his injuries already and he's back on his feet."

"And the others?" she glanced to him, her jaw tight with the question.

Ward straightened slightly in his chair, looking to his hands with a frown, shaking his head.

Scarlet took a pained breath. She'd known, deep down, that most of the team must have died, when the days had become quieter. But she had hoped that it wasn't true.

Ward respected the silence for a moment before glancing back to her, careful in his choice of words. "I'm...surprised you didn't know Barton was still alive."

"Well, he hasn't come to see me," she said shortly, avoiding his eye at saying the words. They hurt more than she cared to admit.

"Maybe he needs time. Maybe he's ashamed," Ward replied delicately.

"Maybe he should be," Scarlet shot back, but her voice was deliberately light, to try and make it sound like she didn't care either way.

Ward cleared his throat at that, looking down with regret. He'd heard the log from the morning that they'd been taken captive. How Barton disobeyed orders and had run straight into the trap, leaving the rest of the team with little choice but to follow him. If Barton had followed orders to report back, they wouldn't have been captured...on the other hand, if he'd have seen men dragging away kids in handcuffs, Ward wasn't sure he'd have been able to hold back either. He admired Barton's heart. He just wished it hadn't had such dire consequences. "He just did what he thought was right, Scarlet."

"I know," Scarlet whispered, shaking her head as she looked away so he wouldn't see the tears threatening. She'd had more than enough time to go over it again and again in the cell. Yes, she was angry about what happened. But above it all, she loved him. And the fact that Christopher was back on his feet and hadn't even come to see her, after everything that had happened...it broke something inside of her. "If...you see him, tell him to come and visit."

"Of course," Ward leant to her, letting out a soft breath. He reached out, resting his hand on the bed, close to her arm. "Once you're fully healed, you'll be debriefed properly. Then you'll start therapy sessions."

Scarlet looked to him with an arched eyebrow before rolling her eyes, shaking her head and looking away.

"Come on, Scarlet, you've been held for 7 months, and we both know it wasn't easy," he said firmly, clearly having no intention of shifting his position on the matter. "The sooner we get you into PTSD counselling, the sooner you can get back to work. That's what you want, isn't it? To get back to service?"

Scarlet sighed softly as she looked back to him tiredly before nodding slowly. He was right, she just wanted to get back to normal. She wanted everything to get back to normal. And for the career driven woman, it meant getting back into the uniform with a rifle in her hands.

"Good," Ward nodded firmly, sitting back at that being decided before standing quickly. "That's settled then. I expect no more arguments on the matter."

"No, Sir," Scarlet murmured, shaking her head, skin pale and eyes tired as she tilted her head towards him.

Colonel Ward nodded with a soft breath, tugging the sleeves of his uniform jacket to straighten them. "Get some rest. I'll come and see you again tomorrow, and we can talk more."

Scarlet nodded silently, watching him leave. She let out a soft breath before turning her head to the side against the pillow, looking out of the viewport at the stars. She had always taken solace in the stars. One of the few constants in the universe.

***

~ One Month Later ~

Colonel Ward glanced up to the door of his office when he heard the chime, sitting back from the computer screen as he let out a long breath. "Come in."

Scarlet moved into the office, her uniform as immaculate as ever as she made her way to his desk, hair neatly pinned and posture taut as she took the seat he motioned to. "Thank you for seeing me, Sir."

"Well, as it happens, I wanted to speak to you anyway, Blake," he turned his computer screen to show her the report on it. "Seeing as you decided to put a stop to your PTSD counselling sessions. The ones we agreed you had to participate in to get back to work. I was hoping you could explain what must be an error...what had better be an error."

Scarlet nodded slowly and calmly, but didn't look to the screen. "There's no error, Sir. I have put a stop to them."

"Why?" Ward replied with an authoritative tone that seemed to come naturally to the Colonel.

"Because I'm resigning," Scarlet said softly, looking across to him with a steady gaze.

Ward blinked at the words, as if he actually couldn't process what she had said. "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm resigning. I'm leaving the Starfleet Marines," Scarlet repeated, clearly and calmly, her face almost emotionless as she met his eyes.

Ward sat back slowly, unable to hide his shock. As long as he'd known her, she'd been a driven, ambitious woman who had lived for the uniform and thrived in the marines. Her whole *world* had been serving in the marines. What ever he had expected her to say, it would never have been that. "Listen, Scarlet, you've been through a lot, if you need more time to get back to..."

"I'm pregnant, John," Scarlet cut in before he could go any further, her voice soft as she watched him.

"Pregnant?" Ward let out a long breath as he sat back heavily in his chair, searching her features. The usually firm, confident and authoritative man was watching her with a mixture of emotions at the news. He frowned, looking down to his hands, leaving his thoughts unspoken. They didn't need to be said. "So, you're going to...?"

"Yes," Scarlet nodded quickly to interrupt the question before he could finish it.

"You've only been free for a month, Scarlet, you don't have to rush into any decisions," Ward leant forward on the desk, watching her with concern; the emotion that had won out from those battling in him.

"I've given it a lot of thought," Scarlet assured quietly, smiling weakly as she set her clasped hands onto the desk. "It's...the only decision I can make. I'm going to have this child, and that means I can't continue in this job..." she held her breath for a long moment, swallowing hard, the first sign of emotion under the calm surface breaking through. "No matter how much I love it."

Ward nodded slowly and reluctantly, glancing down to his hands for a long moment. "Have...you talked to Barton?"

"No," she said quietly, her own gaze dropping to the desk at the mention of the man who had been her lover.

"I really think you should talk to him, Scarlet," Ward said softly, his change of tone making it clear he was talking as a friend and not her boss.

"There's no point."

"Scarlet..."

"He never came to see me, John," Scarlet looked back to him, meeting his eyes with a frown at having to say it out loud. "Not once. I still haven't seen him since we were extracted from that place. I think that makes it perfectly clear what his feelings are...and they don't involve me."

Ward's frown deepened at the words, but he nodded in silence. He had talked with Christopher, and urged him to go and see Scarlet after they'd been rescued, he'd even told him that she wanted to see him. He suspected that despite Barton putting on a brave face, he'd felt guilty for them getting captured, and his shame had won out and kept him from going to see her. He'd said and done all he could, and would, though. Now it was up to them, and it sounded like Scarlet her made her mind up. He nodded gently, taking a deep breath as he straightened up and tugged his jacket down a little. "Well, I can't pretend that I'm happy to see you go. You have too much potential..."

"John..."

"...too much potential to just give this all up..."

"I don't have a choice," Scarlet shook her head with a frown, leaning forward to him, her hand laying flat on the desk. "We both know I can't keep this position and be a single mother..."

"No, but it doesn't have to be the end of your career," he gave a small smile to her, mirroring her as he leant forward on the desk to be closer. "You're not the only person who has had their circumstances change. And sometimes, the regular Fleet can offer a place when the marines aren't an option anymore."

Scarlet watched him with surprise as she took his words in, the surprise turning to interest as she sat back slowly. "Regular Starfleet?"

"Yes. You're lucky, you're already a trained psych specialist. It wouldn't take much to retrain you as, say, a counselling officer. A couple of years retraining, a safer and more settled position...but still a career with the opportunity for advancement."

"And the ability to support both of us myself whilst doing it," Scarlet nodded slowly as she thought it over, clearly not having even considered it. She finally smiled, nodding as she met his eyes. "There's a reason why you're a Colonel," she teased.

Ward grinned at that, shrugging lightly as he sat back, clearly pleased to have been of assistance. "Well, I always rather thought that you were after my seat..."

"Then you'd be right," she replied easily, chuckling softly as she settled back in her chair, already feeling lighter.

"Well, that doesn't have to change much...you'll just have to be an Admiral instead of a General," he tilted his head with an amused smile. He'd always appreciated people with ambition. He did what he could to encourage it.

Scarlet laughed softly at that, shaking her head as she looked to the viewport, watching the stars for a long moment. She was a spacer. Always had been. Born and raised that way. If the transfer to the regular fleet worked, she could keep it that way too. "Somehow, I have a feeling that there's not many Admirals that started as counselling officers..."

"Then you'd better get on with it and change that, hadn't you," Ward brought his screen closer to them to get the paperwork started.

TBC:

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